Your Best Exam Stories? 247
KevlarGorilla asks: "I'm sure Slashdot users have done their fair share of university exams. A good portion may be going through the process right now. Many tales have been floating around the internet about cheating (successful and not), cram stories, and tales of post-test celebration, most often in the testing room itself. Recall any first-hand experiences and write them down in a few short paragraphs. If you've been waiting to clear your conscience, or share your experiences, now is the time."
24-hour time (Score:5, Funny)
Yep. It was 8:15PM.
Re:24-hour time (Score:5, Interesting)
It was a year before I took another math class. A friend came by the night before the test and asked me if I would go over the whole course with him since he hadn't gone to class. Teaching someone else really is the best review. I finished a three hour final in 20 minutes. As I walked to the front with my test someone asked, "Are you just giving up?" "I sure am!" I replied. I got a 97.
Later still I had two Portuguese classes on the same day. One was a Phd level course that I was the only undergrad in and I had a presentation to give for a full hour. I spent the entire day preparing for it and skipped my other classes. Two days later I show up in my other Portuguese class which was mostly full of jocks. A girl from the volleyball team asked me if I was dropping the class. I asked why she would think that. "Well, you didn't show up for the mid-term on Tuesday..." I suddenly realized what had happened. I went up to the prof after class and he was very nice about it. He said I could take an oral exam on the spot in place of the midterm. Halfway through my first response he stopped me, told me it was clear that I was the only person in the class that had read the material, and offered me a scholarship to study in Lisbon that summer. I should have skipped more mid-terms...
Re:24-hour time (Score:2)
The next day, I gave my presentation, but then when I sat down, I just totally zoned out, and started falling passing in and out of sleep. Once, when I woke up, I felt all sick. I got up, and asked for permission to leave, "I feel sick, may I leave?" and the teacher I remember was just like confused... To have a student ask for permission to leave, I guess. It doesn't happen often in college.
So, I get out into the hall
my conscience saved me! (Score:3, Insightful)
When I left the school, i decided to tear that paper without looking and worked all night, studied all the book from start to end.
Next day when the exam papers were
Bet's off (Score:3, Funny)
Where it not for the fact that you weren`t allowed to talk I'd have taken bets and set up a small gambling stall
CJC
Catching a football player cheating off my test (Score:5, Funny)
After the trials and tribulation of Junior and High School I've let a sore spot fester into outright derision for football players. The pose far too many challenges to evolutionary theory and intelligent design.
So ... when I realized a football player for my college team was cheating off my psychology exam I intentionally answered the questions in the multiple choice exam the wrong way. For example: I bubbled the answer to Question 3 in the Question 4 area. After I was done the fooooball player took his exam up to the front of the class and then left.
I then went back and re-positioned my responses in the correct place.
After failing the final the fooooball player saw me on campus and asked me what I got. I said "B" - what did you get? He said "A f*@#in F. How'd do you get a B and I got an F?" I said "I studied." He didn't want to admit to cheating so he just glared at me and walked away.
Add that to your play book!
"Help" him cheat with bad answers (Score:5, Interesting)
One particular question was the atomic mass of a particular ion, something involving a few carbon atoms. I gave him the answer, minus about 6. Another question, another ion, I think it was a dichromate, which IIRC has 7 oxygen atoms. You get the wrong answer if you think it only has 4.
In the end, I got 95%, and he scored in the high 50's. I doubt he ever figured out that I had given him deliberately bad answers.
In the end, the coach pressured the teacher to pass him anyway, so he wouldn't lose his academic eligibility. I take great comfort in seeing him now on a Megan's List website for my home state, and his address is listed as "Incarcerated."
-paul
Re:Catching a football player cheating off my test (Score:5, Funny)
He didn't want to admit to cheating so he just glared at me and walked away.
I can one-up you there. I had a kid try and cheat off my on a math test in 7th grade. I changed all my answers so I could quickly fix them after I was done, and turned my test in after he was done copying. The best was on the day we got the tests back, and the teacher called up the cheater to her desk to talk to him. I sat in the back of the room and could hear her: "Jason, I just don't understand how all your answers were off by one."
Re:Catching a football player cheating off my test (Score:2)
Nicely done. All off by one!
Re:Catching a football player cheating off my test (Score:2)
If you want to reward plagiarism then go ahead and mod the parent up.
Re:Catching a football player cheating off my test (Score:2)
I can 1 Up you even better (Score:3, Funny)
She copied everything down so well that she wrote the other girl's name on her test
Nuclear War What's In It for You. (Score:5, Funny)
The real hoot was that there was a question that ask what the temperature of of nuclear ignition was. I did not know, so I winged it by giving my answer in scientific notation, and Kelvins. My prof. marked it ok if you say so.
I've gotten a lot of laughs over the years from other physics types when I've told the story.
Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year
STB
Re:Nuclear War What's In It for You. (Score:4, Interesting)
But the last final I ever took in college was my scariest. I hadn't attended the class since the mid-term, the teacher was just so horrible, I was convinced I could learn better from the book. So, I avoided my STAT class, and forgot entirely to read the book. End of the year came around, and I realized, that this was the only class I wasn't sure about passing and I needed it to graduate.
I teamed up with another guy in the same boat as me (we both had good mid-term scores, but then neglected the rest of the class.) We both ended up studying till all hours of the night.
I walked into class after this rigerous night of studying and took the test, I ended up with an almost perfect score, and what with the curve, I actually ended up with an A in the course.
Afterwards, I walked out of the building to walk home, and to my surprise my car was parked there in the teachers' lot. I had driven it in during the night when it was allowed to park there, and entirely forgot about it.
Marijuana and yon beach plus world of warcraft (Score:3, Funny)
By the same token I spent a semester playing World of Warcraft and wrote about how guilds fit the ideal type of a weberian bureaucracy. Apparently it was an A.
in a computer science final.... (Score:2)
5 questions, 20 points each.
question number 4, I totally blanked on. I knew it. I knew I knew it, but I just couldn't remember what the answer was. I could picture what page it was in... even what paragraph, because I had highlited that specific passage as a possible question... and I blanked.
So I wrote about blanking during the test. My response was exactly what was going on in my head. What i was thinking. That I could remember knowing it, even where it was, but could
Re:in a computer science final.... (Score:2)
We expect our greetings in Linux
Which story to share... (Score:2)
But yeah, I haven't had many fun exploits.
Re:Which story to share... (Score:2)
Social science is not a "hard science major"
Re:Which story to share... (Score:2)
Biology, however, is. And that is my major.
Tossing out the cheater (Score:5, Funny)
My college roomate's dad was a math prof at either Penn state or U Penn or one of those. He would teach those enormous 800 student introductory courses. The final was always held in a theater. He would distribute the exams, then hoisting a pair of binoculars and a bullhorn, announce that he was headed up to the balcony and he would be watching everyone like a hawk. Most giggled at the suggestion that he could possibly proctor the exam from a distance, but he kept a serious demeanor.
Twenty minutes into the exam, he would lean over the railing and bellow out through the bullhorn: "You! Row 18, seat 34!! GET OUT!!!!" A stunned student would look guilty, drop his crib sheet, then run out of the room. The students were amazed at the prof's powers of perception and would abandon any thought of cheating.
The "cheater" was always a graduate student hired for the occasion. The prof swore by the method.
Re: Tossing out the cheater (Score:2)
LOL
We had one where the final came in two colors, and the prof insisted on alternating colors for adjacent students.
When we got the exams back we discovered that all the exams were identical.
Re: Tossing out the cheater (Score:2, Interesting)
----
From: Michael J Lutz
Subject: Finals Scam: Revenge of the Profs.
The Finals Week item, with 50 things to do during a final you know you will flunk, inspires me to pass along this true story from RIT. Acknowledgements are due my colleague Ken Reek, and former graduate student Ed Ford, who together pulled the scam off with aplomb.
Several years ago, Ken
Not just once (Score:2, Funny)
I admit my grades weren't perfect, but I've got a degree and a job. Let that be a lesson to you kids still in school. You're probably p
Re:Not just once (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Not just once (Score:2)
Sorry I'm late. I'm here about a call to lower the glass cieling a couple of inches.
Physics, Freshman year, first semester (Score:3, Interesting)
Then the professor hands out the test.
Page 1, damn.
Page 2, shit.
Page 3, WTF? I hardly recognize anything!
Page 4, tears.
I sniff and snurffle my way through the exam. It's multiple choice, but the way they do the exams, if you don't answer the question you 0 points and if you answer it wrong you get negative points (so guessing is not going to work, even educated guesses are a risk), and the answers are all plausible (which is the most frustrating part.)
I finish, and dry my eyes long enough to turn the test in, the professor totally oblivoius.
A week later when they post the scores, I scroll to my ID, and I got 69%. SIXTY NINE PERCENT? I run to the top of the page to see the average (they grade on a bell curve). 31%. THIRTY ONE PERCENT??
Holy Mother of Physics, I friggin' doubled the AVERAGE? Only three people score higher. Sweet. (Of course, I probably didn't think "sweet" back then, it was over a decade ago.)
Oh, and I cheated on 4th grade spelling tests by sitting on the spelling book and looking at the words between my legs. I can't spell too well these days, so I suffer from that. And I told one person at the time, and somehow she managed to nearly fall out of her chair with the book while attempting to do the same thing. I stopped after that.
Re:Physics, Freshman year, first semester (Score:2)
Best final exam? (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Best final exam? (Score:2)
Re:Best final exam? (Score:2)
Re:Best final exam? (Score:2)
Real use for a #2 Pencil (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Real use for a #2 Pencil (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Real use for a #2 Pencil (Score:2)
Memorisation (Score:4, Insightful)
I never memorised physics or calculus formulae - I derived the formula needed for each question from first principles when I reached a question needing that particular formula.
I owe this ability to a great high school physics teacher, Tom Leys (now deceased, what a loss!) of St Bede's College, Christchurch, New Zealand.
Whenever he introduced a new concept we would learn the principles first, and then the formula.
Re:Memorisation (Score:3, Interesting)
I disagree. When I was at MOP (Mathematical Olympiad Program, AKA Mathcamp, where the US participants in the IMO are chosen/trained) many of the teachers used exactly that method. Po-Shen I remember was the worst/best. We all got used to seeing him start to write out a formula, pause in the middle, scribble a few things off on the side, and then finish--numerous times per class.
Probably it works well for some people and not so well for others.
I remember I aced one... (Score:5, Funny)
physics test... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, wait, that was a movie I saw.
Uhhh...nevermind, then.
I knew a guy just like that.. (Score:2)
Re:I knew a guy just like that.. (Score:2)
Re:I aced this (Score:2)
Indeed. Michelle Meyrink was the only reason I went to see, "Nice Girls Don't Explode." I prefer to remember her as Jordan. *yikes*
Caught cheating (Score:2)
Since the testing center keeps track of how long it took each student to take the test, he likes to laugh (hopefully not in the presence of his students) at how everyone who takes less than 20 minutes is always in the 0-30% range. Well, come finals time he noticed that he had a kid who got 98% (49/50) on the
Re:Caught cheating (Score:4, Insightful)
Looking back on my school days, I remember often doing exams "in group", where we'll take a crack at the exams and compare answers, learning how to work with other people under pressure was (I now think) more important than knowing how to figure out complicated integrals alone (and when was the last time I did that). If caught, this kind of thing is considered cheating. I used to not like school that much, until the point where courses got difficult enough that other students were there because they wanted to; difficult enough that we could bring out calculators and text books in the exams and still spend 8 hours doing them (I distinctly remember some EE Linear Control exams). The teacher would let us take smoking breaks and bring lunch. Copying someone elses exam wasn't an option, because of the pages and pages of calculations we had to show for our efforts.
Wrong room (Score:3, Interesting)
Bogus SAT 800 (Score:2)
Skipped many questions going for the ones I knew. It was common knowledge that skipped questions did not coutn, only wrong answers. One I guessed at, and remembered it well enough to ask my math teacher. He showed me and I had guessed wrong.
But when the scores came in, I
Re:Bogus SAT 800 (Score:2)
Curiouser and curiouser (Score:2)
Still don't trust tests like that.
Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:2)
Re:Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:5, Funny)
Re: Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:2)
In principle, yes, but my teachers would never let me pour the milk and light the candle during the exam.
Re:Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:2)
Re:Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:2)
myself and three other friends stayed up all night outlining the text book, which we then typed up and put on the paper, in 2.5pt font.
ended up with everything on it. our professor wasn't pleased, but we made no effort to hide it. also, staying up all night and then typing the outlines just about negated the sheet. but it did come in handy a few times.
Re:Invisible Ink Cheatsheets (Score:2)
General Education Class (Score:2, Interesting)
Physics II Final (Score:2)
When it came time for the final, I went in with a felt-tip pen (not pencil), was the first finished, and aced the f@#cker, 100%. I did not have to cross out a single thing, I just did all 8 p
High school bonehead government class (Score:2)
Re:High school bonehead government class (Score:2)
OD on No-Doze before essay exams not good (Score:2)
The night before his English Lit class, one of the morons on our dorm floor had to cram all night long since he hadn't done any of the reading or assignments for the class all semester long. I don't know how many of those No-Doze caffeine/uppers pills he took. All I know is that he had overdosed so badly that his hands wouldn't stop shaking. He found it quite difficult to write essays in the blue book with his hands spasming the entire time.
Remeber kids, use drugs with care. They aren't candy.
GMD
HS English Test (Score:2)
Back in my junior year in High School, I was out sick for a week. During that week the teacher had mentioned a test: we'd have to read a play (I think any American-written play) and we'd be given a test on it. Well, this message didn't get back to me and we didn't discuss it during the few days I was back from my sick leave.
A few minutes before class I see EVERYONE reading a different paperback book and I realize something's off. I ask around, and I find out a test is t
Flunk city (Score:2)
When it came to revision time, me and my best mate at uni had a choice. We could spend 4 weeks straight learning crystal structures and other shit for Materials, and we might scrape 50% in that one exam. Or we could spend that time revising everything else, and pass overall. Simple decision really. So come exam day, it was in there, names on papers, wait the required 15 minutes, walk out again, enjoy the sunshine.
As
Showed up late (Score:2)
Another time, I was trying to get my friends to buy me alcohol before writing a programming final. I promised to drink all they'd buy me, then go write the exam. I picked my friends well, though, an
Luck favors the prepared (Score:2)
So, around comes finals time. We file in, grab our little blue books and about 40 pages of exam, and we're off and running. The first half of the test is your standa
Re:Luck favors the prepared (Score:2)
The summer before, I had worked in a book distributor's warehouse. They were going to destroy slightly defective books, and gave us all a chance to pick up any book we wanted out of those piles. I took all the computer books they had, inlcuding a Pascal book. So I show up
Waking up late (Score:3, Funny)
(That was also the same class where the professor once checked his e-mail on the projector and a message with a From: line of SuicideGirls.com was visible.)
VA Tech Econ Department (Score:3, Funny)
The professors there relished their difficult exams. Every exam was scheduled to take 2 hours. But they would let us all stay and keep working on the exams well after the time period was up. I remember one micro-economics exam that took 7 hours. Seven hours!
During that exam, I noticed that the two Lithuanians kept getting up to go to the bathroom. Turned out they were writing answers on the stall walls and trading them.
Meanwhile, a Chinese student in the back corner kept fiddling with her paper. Va Tech is on the Honor System, so the prof kept leaving the room, and wasn't there for large chunks of time. Someone finally complained to him about the Chinese girl, and sure enough, she had all of her notes from the semester out, and claimed she was using the back of them for scratch paper.
So the prof took them to make an Honor Court case.
Later that night, Chinese girl and her buddy sneak into the prof's office and take the evidence !
I found out about this later because I was sitting on the Honor Court, and as I started hearing about the case, a bell went off in my head. "Umm, is this about the graduate Econ department?"
Honor Court: "Why, yes it is. How did you know?"
Me: "Because I am in that department. I'd heard rumors. I know these people."
Honor Court: "Oh, well then you should leave. Sorry!"
I always find it amusing that the Chinese girl transferred to the Marketing department, where I guess they don't care so much about cheating.
Ripping GRE Scores (Score:2)
So I decided to take the GRE's and see about grad school, to try to keep my grey matter nimble. I read one of those guides, it seemed straight-forward, so I signed up.
I had to drive out to Sheridan, WY to take the test, since they weren't offering one in SD anytime soon. I drove out the night before, found a hotel, and drove around looking for a place to have a nice leisurely dinner, maybe a
Re:Ripping GRE Scores (Score:2)
I was like, my bad... I didn't realize that taking tests was something HARD to do.
BTW, I took the GRE too, scored 790 of 800 on the analytical, but my verbal was just "average". I just can't track al
Had to take the GRE's back in the late '80's... (Score:2)
I don't know which of the two analytical sections actually "counted" toward my final score. One section was quite hard, and the second was amazingly easy, so the answer may be obvious, but I don't know for sure. My resulting score on the analytical section was very, ve
Not an exam, but a paper (Score:2)
Not only did that paper garner
Did a "sting" with a teacher in HS (Score:2)
The guy threatened to kick my butt after class, but we worked it out and eventually became friends!
Get over it already (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Get over it already (Score:2)
Was the purpose of the test to get the marks or to be "right".
I admit it's one issue I struggle with myself, but I've given up the fight and I'm telling people what they want to hear more and more.
Who says drinking and final exams don't mix? (Score:2)
I came down with a serious case of flu just before my last final exam before the Christmas break. I was doing major projectile vomiting and feeling terrible. Later in the day, I dragged myself down to the student health center and got a note from the doctor there who vouched that I was too sick to write the exam.
A went to the Professor's office a couple of days later when I was feeling better to explain the situation and ask about a re-sit. It was a small class and he noticed that I wasn't there for the ex
Passing the wrong exam (Score:5, Funny)
I found the exam pretty difficult and couldn't answer some of the questions. Somehow, i noticed that I didn't know any of the people passing the exam with me but it didn't ring an alarm. When i gave my exam papers to the professor who was supervising us, he couldn't find me in the list... he asked my who my teacher was for this dicipline, and said:
Wait... $professor doesn't teach to 4th grade students !
Me: 4th grade ? I'm in first grade !
Supervisor: (starts laughing a lot... ) Well you must have found the exam pretty difficult, this is the 4th grade exam....
Me: do'h...
He then proceeded to correct my paper just for the fun of it... and it wasn't that bad after all
Long Name (Score:2)
A Day in the Strife (Score:3, Informative)
In Music Appreciation several of the multiple choice answers were Star Trek references. Hmm, was it Patrick Stewart or Bach who walked over 200 miles to Lübeck?
Re:A Day in the Strife (Score:3, Informative)
Giving an exam (Score:2)
I used to publish my lecture notes prior to a test and encouraged my students to read them. One time, in the middle of those notes, I put in a comment like this:
"For those of you willing to take the time to read these notes, I'm giving extra credit. I'm going to put a question on the test that reads 'What is the answer to the secret question?', to which you'll reply 'xyzzy'. Please don't tell anyone
Re:Giving an exam (Score:2)
Thats not intersting, or enjoyable, you're just an ass.
If you want to give extra credit to kids who will do optional things, just tell them that one hour of community service with a group from {list of groups} will give them the credit. Everyone has a shot, and it helps the community.
Re:Giving an exam (Score:2)
I know that some students don't like it, but I judge them not only on their coding abilities but on their ability to follow instructions as well. When I say "I strongly encourage you to read the lecture notes", it should give them a pretty good hint that there's something important there. I had a similar policy with the textbook. While I didn't r
CS exam (Score:2)
The prof sees and calls me up to the front of the room. He tried to kick me
MPI Programming Final - Easiest final ever. (Score:2)
But the next to last night of class, the instructor asks me what I still have
Good old HP48S calculator (Score:4, Funny)
We were allowed to use them as long as we showed the exam supervisors that we cleared the memory first.
I loaded it with notes and programmed one of the menu buttons to display the message "Memory Clear" so I could *ahem* "clear" it in front of one of the exam supervisors.
Then I had an attack of conscience and cleared it for real before I actually used any of the stored notes.
Blind Luck (Score:4, Interesting)
The final exam is the exact program and several pages of questions about it. I finished in record time with a perfect score. I even corrected unintentional typos on the exam. Unfortunately, I think I've used my lifetime store of luck for that one test.
Everything you can fit on a 8.5 x 11 (Score:5, Funny)
Purdue Legend/joke (Score:2)
My final exam (Score:2)
Back in my Freshman English class... (Score:2)
Well, I basically blew it off. My friend, on the other hand, worked very hard on it, spend several days with the story, and wrote the analysis exactly as requested.
Freshman Chemistry (Score:2)
I scored my first and only 100 on any exam in college.
What do you do when you come up to a yellow light? (Score:2)
Driving test question: What do you do when you come up to a yellow light?
whispered reply: slow down
What....do...you...do...when...you...come...up.. .to...a...yellow...light?
slow down!
What............do...........you............do.. ..........when.........you............come........ .......up
Auditing a Cryptography class... (Score:3, Interesting)
I knew this prof enough that I could get away with it (I previously showed up at an open-book exam wearing a hat with my notes stuffed in it and various notes written on my hands and arms). He graded on a severe curve and not out of 100% - a grade of 50 out of 300 could be passing. So he took it in stride. Mentioned that the 34th amendment didn't prevent him from giving me a negative score, pointed out the punchlines in my jokes were wrong and deducted points from that.
When I got the exam back, the front page read "-120/300, but don't worry, it'll come out in the curve".
As he's going through the answers, I and my friends are chuckling at the comments each of us made on the exam. Then the prof. got to the last question, a logic-based one (prove some theorem is correct). On that answer, I made up a rather lengthy logical path to prove the theory including a few references to handwaving. Turns out I was the closest to the correct answer.
Never went back to the class, but crypto is still cool.
Ah yes, I remember when (Score:2)
The blind leading the blank (Score:2)
Eventually we began to feel like parents of ducklings, and just started to have fun with it... I especially remember w
Micro Economics weeder course (Score:2)
The test was a total of 20 questions worth 10 points each. I put down partial answers for 8 of the questions over the next 2:15. 10 of the questions I did not understand, at all. Not even a hint of what the hell it was talking about.
I arrive to get my scores and
Physics and Calculus... Back When I Knew 'em (Score:2)
and concepts from the whole course. I worked on the "equation sheet" first, and took 3 pages to go from
to E&M to light&optics, and then collapsed everything back to P=MV (equation for momen
Can you please put the Pollock slide back up? (Score:3, Funny)
During a somewhat difficult test, after the first run through of the slides, a couple of students were asking for another look at some of the more difficult slides. One student, who apparently had the artist but not the name of a slide, asked "Can you put the Polluck back up, please?" (instead of asking for it by slide #). Without thinking, the instuctor put up the Polluck slide.
There was a moment of silence, and then another student snickered. The instructor realized what he had done (told the class that the slide that was being shown was from Polluck), and turned red. A couple of other students, who had incorrect answers, quickly changed their sheets, and more people were chuckling. Finally, the instructor announced "As some of you have caught on, this piece is from Jackson Polluck. Make sure you have this slide labelled correctly." so that everyone else could benefit from his blunder.
If I remember correctly, someone tried the same thing at the next test, but he didn't fall for it again.
State your assumptions (Score:3, Interesting)
All of us tried to remember as best we could, but we all bombed it. All except my friend Chris. He remarked that the front of the paper said "Write down any assumptions you make." so he took out a black Sharpie, coloured in the part "by the method 'foo'." and wrote "assume these words do not exist" and proceeded to solve the problem by the other method. When the exams came back, he was awarded about 20% on that question, with the annotation "These are amusement marks. Normally you would have gotten 0."
All subsequent exams had "Write down and justify any assumptions you make."
Re:3rd year EE computer architecture finals... (Score:2)