Ask Slashdot: Getting My Wife Back Into Programming After Long Maternity Leave? 250
An anonymous reader writes: My wife has been on a maternity leave for three years, now. She is starting to think about refreshing her coding skills and looking for a job. Before, she worked as a Java developer for around two years doing mostly Java Enterprise stuff. However, she is not very eager to go back to coding. I think she has the right mental skills to be a developer, but she is just not very passionate about coding or IT in general. On the other hand, it's relatively easier to find a job in IT than starting a new career.
We live in Spain, and with the current economic situation, the market for software developers is not great — but it's definitely better than other jobs. I there anything else she might do, ideally Java (but could be anything IT related) that would be easier and more fun than the typical Java Enterprise stuff, while also giving her a good change to find a decent job? (I'm a Java developer myself with many years of experience but mostly doing boring Java Enterprise stuff.)
We live in Spain, and with the current economic situation, the market for software developers is not great — but it's definitely better than other jobs. I there anything else she might do, ideally Java (but could be anything IT related) that would be easier and more fun than the typical Java Enterprise stuff, while also giving her a good change to find a decent job? (I'm a Java developer myself with many years of experience but mostly doing boring Java Enterprise stuff.)
Why force her to do something she doesn't want to? (Score:5, Insightful)
It feels like you're trying to push her into a career she doesn't really want to be in. If I was you, I'd respect her wishes and instead support her while she finds something she's passionate about.
Re: Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:2, Informative)
Sometimes the reality of needing to eat and have housing supercede what people are passionate about. He's not asking for marital advice, he's asking for options hat she might enjoy more that will still put food on the table.
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It feels like you're trying to push her into a career she doesn't really want to be in. If I was you, I'd respect her wishes and instead support her while she finds something she's passionate about.
Let's be honest, writing enterprise Java is enough to kill anyone's passion. That stuff sucks your soul out until you make it to architect level (then you spend your time sucking other people's soul out).
She should find a job that interests her more (while lets be honest, work is called work because it's not fun). Then, if that job happens to be embedded programming, she get a raspberry pi and work with it for a while. After a couple months she should be more than proficient enough to find a job in embedd
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No, she doesn't. He specifically said:
"but she is just not very passionate about coding or IT in general."
So yes, it does look like he's trying to push her. Most women I know take a few months of maternity leave, not a few years, so maybe that is why he is pushing, but he's pushing her in the wrong direction.
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Position description of a Business Analist: When it comes to business time, someone who gets the big jobs through the back door.
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In general, finding a job with decent working conditions, reasonable colleagues and a moderate level of interest is the best you can hope for.
There seems to be a lot of entitlement with people these days. Not only does the world not owe you a living, it absolutely doesn't owe you an interesting one.
If you're living somewhere like Spain with high unemployment, you should be grateful for a half decent job
Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:5, Insightful)
how do you know they only had one kid during those three years?
Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:5, Insightful)
Ask Slashdot was useful once, but in the last few years it's just become an opportunity to abuse the questioner. Okay, sometimes the questions are really dumb, but how about we try to assume good faith and not expect them to write an essay covering every possible objection first? You know, kinda like Stack Exchange or something.
In fact, screw it, Slashdot is dying. I recommend asking the same question on Stack Exchange, you will get more helpful answers.
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Although I agree with your sentiment, Slashdot is dying. It was painfully clear in the thread about James Horner. However I did want to ask: When did Ask Slashdot EVER produce no criticism? I remember ten years ago when the big complaint was that people would ask any question at all when there was the magic Google around.
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Slashdot ebbs and flows, and as old readers and commenter move on, they feel it is dying (it is really just their interest is dying) and new readers and commenter try to shift it's content. Paid trolls of course abound, more in registered users than in actual individuals but they tend to fail and give up but they always return.
It seems like that coder because they obviously enjoy coding fails to grasp that many coders abandon coding because they do not like it. Those coders go on to sales and support and
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Ask Slashdot was useful once, but in the last few years it's just become an opportunity to abuse the questioner. Okay, sometimes the questions are really dumb, but how about we try to assume good faith and not expect them to write an essay covering every possible objection first? You know, kinda like Stack Exchange or something.
In fact, screw it, Slashdot is dying. I recommend asking the same question on Stack Exchange, you will get more helpful answers.
He is trying to get her to do something she (apparently) doesn't want to do - "she is just not very passionate about coding or IT in general", but because that "something" aligns with your ideological and political interests you whine about abuse. What *is* borderline abusive is the fact that he is probably going to get her to do something she doesn't appear to have an interest in doing.
If you want your messages to be logically consistent with themselves you should rather be pointing out that artificially l
Maternity leave (Score:2)
3 YEARS of maternity leave?
Sure, why not? Raising kids is a lot of work and pretty important to the well being of our species. Why not allow people the time to do it well? Honestly I'm fairly disgusted by how little help is given to new parents here in the US. (close to none)
Seriously, maternity leave is like a year, more than that is taking time to spend with a kid as a stay at home mother (which is a good thing generally)
One year is as arbitrary as three. And you admit that spending some time with the child when they are young is a good thing so what really is your problem with maternity leave? Just because it isn't the amount you are accustomed to doesn't mean it is wrong.
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I think spending time with the child at home over the first years is GREAT and I think the lack of this in todays society has lessened the quality of kids today over yesteryear (with respect to manners and the parental participation in the educational p
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Last time I checked, Spain was in Europe.
Maternal leave is regulated by law.
Why the *fuck* - excuse my language - should she take less maternal leave than either is *offered* by the law or even *demanded* by the law?
Grow up, and understand that not all countries have a political "we don't care' attitude about families.
In Germany we have on top of forced maternal leave/vacation (demanded by law) an optional 12 month vacation for one parent, or of both take it, in total 14 months.
Everyone who takes that and d
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No wonder Spain is quickly approaching economic collapse. A company would be stupid to hire a woman younger than 40 if they can get pregnant and leave for THREE YEARS.
The company is not paying her salary for those three years, so why should they care?
Unless you are in some incredibly fast moving and specific field with an unswervable career trajectory, taking three years out of work doesn't make a lot of difference. Someone who is 50 isn't necessarily any better at their job than someone who is 47 and had a three year break.
I know everyone on slashdot expects to work 24/7 and be a billionaire by the time they're 25, but in the real world most people trundle on quite
Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:4, Insightful)
Or you can look at the reverse... Those of us having children are the only ones helping you have all the social welfare programs (pensions and Social Security, etc.) after you stop working.
So, yes, I am getting a raw deal because I am raising kids that will contribute to me and to you and you are getting a free ride by having no kids.
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Pensions? Social Security? Really, at my age, I will never have a pension when I reach old age. It's what I can save away in my retirement funds and build into a nest egg.
I don't expect to receive any free govt. hand outs. Nor do I expect to need it.
Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:4, Interesting)
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Pensions? Social Security? Really, at my age, I will never have a pension when I reach old age. It's what I can save away in my retirement funds and build into a nest egg.
I don't expect to receive any free govt. hand outs. Nor do I expect to need it.
If people stop having kids, have fewer kids, etc, then you must also expect to have no healthcare, no food and no life. The ones having kids today are ensuring that you'll have a doctor on call when you are older.
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I don't expect to receive any free govt. hand outs. Nor do I expect to need it.
As with affordable health care, that's what everyone says until they do, in fact, need it.
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Luckily we are largely immune to it in the US due to our high immigration rate.
lol Far from it. http://mercatus.org/sites/defa... [mercatus.org] BTW, the "trust fund" is just special bonds currently held by the US Treasury. Those bonds are then sold along with the regular Treasury bonds that are issued to make up the regular "national debt".
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So, yes, I am getting a raw deal because I am raising kids that will contribute to me and to you and you are getting a free ride by having no kids.
Are your kids using public education? Using public playgrounds? Are you getting a tax break for more dependents?
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What is a pension by the way? I thought that term disappeared in the 50's.
As with social security, most civilised societies decided some time after the Second World War to provide a safety net for the poor paid for out of taxation.
Yes, it's essentially socialist.
Sole provider? (Score:3)
What part of
makes you think she wants her husband to be the sole provider? Is there something wrong with wanting a rewarding career that you're passionate about?
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Nope...but the reality is, most people do NOT have the luxury of having the time and resources to find the perfect job they love in order to work and make a living.
I guess it does help to attain that if you have a man supporting you till you find the one job you love, but that's mostly a luxury for women....but even that has its limitations with 3 mouths to feed and one new one to save for to educate later in life.
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Is there something wrong with wanting a rewarding career that you're passionate about?
Yes, if it's stopping you getting a "boring" job and making do like the rest of us.
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The "starting to think about... looking for a job" after 3 years of dependency bit. 3 years' maternity leave is not the norm anywhere, even in the EU. After 1 year it's not maternity leave anymore, it's "I quit my job. You may now support me as a dependent willingly or under court order, but you *will* support me, because vagina."
The last time I looked it took two people to make a baby. A man's responsibility towards that baby doesn't stop once he wipes his cock off on the duvet.
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You have never been in a european country, have you?
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"Give a woman a child" - You're an asshole. A rational man doesn't give his wife a child, they share one. My daughter was the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't regret any 'inconvenience'. I pity any partner you end up with because you obviously only see them as that wallet you referred to.
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Hence, don't get married. Ever.
Wrong. You'll get screwed even worse if you're having a kid outside of marriage.
You don't want kids? Just as bad - you'll be considered married in CoP if you simply live with her for a long time[1]
Marriage with iron-clad prenup and no kids is currently the least screwed-over option for men. Take it.
[1]Length depends on jurisdiction
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Hence, don't get married. Ever.
But yes, she should get off her lazy ass and go back to work.
The couple decided between them to have the kid, you fucking moron.
The amount of teenage level fear of women and responsibility here is staggering.
Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:5, Insightful)
I don't know the woman, but calling someone who has been chasing a toddler around for 3 years "lazy" is probably why. It might not be skilled work, but it is exhausting.
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Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:5, Interesting)
In regards to coal miner or roofer, again I can't speak to those professions, I can say as a person who worked in construction for 5 years during school, I'd rather be doing that then chasing kids around (if only it was just that).
Oh and nap time is the time to get shit done, it aint rest time. There are no breaks. And when you are the SAHP your the primary care giver and the other person disconnects so instead of working 40hours a week like your spouse you work essentially 7 16hour days.
Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want (Score:5, Funny)
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I'm still trying to understand what the heck Slow afterhyperpolarization [wikipedia.org] is and how it affects parenting... but it sounds difficult! My condolences.
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Not weird. There is no rationale in having kids. My ma was angry when i told her that longvtime ago (as 18yo). I was tricked intonhaving kids by my wive. She just lie about taking the pilll. I love my kids but hate the bitch for ruining it for me.
You are an idiot.
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To be fair housewife isn't exactly equivalent to coal miner or roofer.
No. Quite right. It's harder, more exhausting, requires a broader range of skills, and isn't paid at all.
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He hasn't verified that she really did that. She could have been a really crappy mother and housekeeper for all we know.
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Yes, she could have. But per-emptively assuming that to be the case will get you called out.
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Yes, she could have. But per-emptively assuming that to be the case will get you called out.
I've spent time at home with my kid when he was born. To be perfectly honest if she was in any way at all attending to the kid, cleaning/cooking as well as making sure that the child was properly stimulated, carefully watched, reasonably socialised, etc then she'd be dying to get back to work. The fact that she isn't so passionate about leaving the house say's that she was probably getting a lot of "me time' in those three years.
Hell, after a few months of stay-at-home, I was looking forward to working only
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Hell, after a few months of stay-at-home, I was looking forward to working only 60-hour weeks.
Being proud of regularly working more than 35-40 hours a week is a largely American thing.
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Hell, after a few months of stay-at-home, I was looking forward to working only 60-hour weeks.
Being proud of regularly working more than 35-40 hours a week is a largely American thing.
I was perhaps not being clear; let me retry: "After a few months of stay-at-home I was looking forward to working fewer hours each week, because even 60 hours incl. overtime a week is still less than staying at home with a small child."
FWIW, I'm a firm believer that I top out at 40 hours/week, and would very very rarely work extra hours.
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Maybe because being a full time mom is a perfectly valid option? And also, for many people going to work instead of staying home with the kids is the lazy option.
Living under a rock ?? (Score:2)
At what point do you think raising and monitoring a 3 yr. old ISN'T a full time job ???? I'd imagine the lady is looking forward to getting back to work and getting some rest. As for going back into computing and programming I can't blame her, the industry SUCKS. IT companies expect you to give them your entire life while they lowball your salary, try and get you to work overtime for free, biatch and moan when you take your vacation days, and generally take advantage of you as much as possible, while compla
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I'm getting downvoted because I said she should get off her ass adn go back to work? After THREE YEARS of maternity leave!? What in the actual fuck.
Apart from the US, most civilized countries allow a decent amount of maternity leave. At three years, toddlers are generally able to go to nursery and thus allow the carer the ability to work more or less full time.
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Project Management or Business Analyst (Score:5, Informative)
Two great careers for software developers who don't really like writing software are project management and business analyst. Both are very necessary in almost any IT group, and having software development experience will be an asset in both. Analysts that can write SQL and fully understand object modeling are rare and valuable, as are project managers who understand the software development life cycle from the viewpoint of developers.
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It sounds like the questioner's wife is doing business stuff at the moment, but Java is used in a lot of places. Mobile apps are the obvious one, but also for some embedded stuff.
Re:Project Management or Business Analyst (Score:4, Interesting)
+1
Not to be sexist, but most women prefer jobs that include more interaction with people and less time spent in solo problem solving, so it's not terribly surprising that she does't love coding. This isn't to say there aren't women who really like coding, or even introverted women who find working with people all day to be unpleasant. There are all kinds... but on average my observation is that women prefer more human interaction.
So, assuming that your wife falls into that category, there are lots of roles in and around software development that are more people-focused. Project management requires an additional set of skills, both people skills and management skills, but it's eminently learnable, and having a technical background is very valuable -- as long as it doesn't cause her to second-guess what the developers are telling her (always a risk with PMs, and even more with those whose technical background is shallower than they think it is. There's a tendency to assume that everything they don't know how to do is easy.)
Business Analyst is another good one. It, again, requires some additional skills she probably doesn't have but can learn. Industry knowledge tends to be important, but most companies are okay with analysts learning that context on the job. She also needs to learn how to gather and document requirements. A technical background is useful there because good requirements need quite a bit more precision than most non-technical people are used to. There's also a risk; formerly-technical BAs have a tendency to overspecify. An important skill for this role which isn't so easy to learn is writing. Good BAs are excellent writers, able to concisely and accurately boil complex issues down to simple statements.
Another option that might be excellent if she can swing it is Systems or Application Architect. Companies generally want experienced, senior developers to move into these roles, but smart but less-experienced people can do it as well. Architects take the business requirements and convert them into high-level technical plans/architectures. Architects tend to spend less time interacting with people than PMs or BAs, but still quite a bit since they provide the primary interface between the technical and business teams. Architects need to have good technical skills and good "taste", meaning a good feel for what sorts of structures are easy to build, easy to maintain and flexible, and for how to intelligently trade those issues off. They also need to be good at translating technical issues into language the business people can understand. Honestly I expect that your wife probably doesn't have the depth of experience needed to make a good architect, but I thought I'd throw it out.
Another that might be good if she's a good writer and enjoys writing is technical writing. Good tech writers have greater need for writing skill than they do technical skill, but the latter is very valuable because it enables them to more quickly and accurately understand the information that needs to be documented.
In smaller companies a lot of these roles get mixed and combined with other business roles, so another good option is to look for a position that isn't necessarily directly related to software development, but could benefit from having a deeply IT-literate person.
Finally, the option that I've long thought I'd take if I ever got tired of writing code is the law. It's a lot of additional training, but I think there is a deep and growing need for attorneys who understand technology. This is especially true in the areas of patent and copyright law, but I think it applies in many areas. Of course, the law may not have any attraction whatsoever for your wife.
Whatever, I'd really encourage her to take the time to figure out what she wants to do, and do that, rather than settling for something she doesn't really like. We so much of our lives working that it's really a waste to spend it doing something we don't like.
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We so much of our lives working that it's really a waste to spend it doing something we don't like.
Most people do not have the luxury of only (or mainly) doing things they really like.
For example, the career opportunities for someone who enjoys drinking cheap booze, eating pizzas, listening to heavy metal and watching porn are somewhat limited. Not everyone can be a SysAdmin.
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QA is another option. I think it's the goto for people that are logical and don't actually enjoy writing software. Instead, they get to try to break it.
Think it depends on the company (Score:2)
However there's wide variance between companies - I've incredulously interviewed people unable to do a join..
If she's not interested...... (Score:2)
Pretty much exactly what my wife did (Score:5, Interesting)
My wife was out of the programming workforce for about twenty years, and worried that her FORTRAN skills were no longer needed :-)
I encouraged her to take some Java classes, she liked it a lot, found an interesting job and several years later is loving it.
The thing is, do the research to find an *interesting* job -- yeah, it may be just "Java Enterprise stuff", but if it's an interesting project, and something you believe in, with good people, it's worth doing. My wife's team is a crazy bunch, and she enjoys their interactions (and telling me the wild stories) a lot.
She's been able to learn a lot of useful side technologies (XSLT, Databases, basic web stuff, etc.) so she'll be able to find a new job if the rumors of them moving the project she's on several hundred miles away pan out.
Anyway, with you working, she doesn't have to settle for the "first available" job, look around a lot, interview a bunch (if nothing else, to hone interviewing skills).
Good luck to you both!
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My wife was out of the programming workforce for about twenty years, and worried that her FORTRAN skills were no longer needed :-)
I encouraged her to take some Java classes, she liked it a lot, found an interesting job and several years later is loving it.
The thing is, do the research to find an *interesting* job -- yeah, it may be just "Java Enterprise stuff", but if it's an interesting project, and something you believe in, with good people, it's worth doing. My wife's team is a crazy bunch, and she enjoys their interactions (and telling me the wild stories) a lot.
She's been able to learn a lot of useful side technologies (XSLT, Databases, basic web stuff, etc.) so she'll be able to find a new job if the rumors of them moving the project she's on several hundred miles away pan out.
Anyway, with you working, she doesn't have to settle for the "first available" job, look around a lot, interview a bunch (if nothing else, to hone interviewing skills).
Good luck to you both!
I agree that an approach like that can make a big difference. Coding on an interesting project is completely different than coding something you don't give a crap about. Being out of the game for 3 years makes it more difficult to be choosy like that but if she's not as concerned about a high salary, she could look to some smaller organizations or non-profits that need technical staff.
To answer your question (Score:3)
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I'm pretty sure there's people that work in jobs they aren't passionate about but do it to keep afloat.
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I'm pretty sure there's people that work in jobs they aren't passionate about but do it to keep afloat.
I would say over 90% of the workforce.
Does anyone seriously think that people stack supermarket shelves, flip burgers, clean toilets or whatever because they really love it?
Go find something you are passionate about (Score:2)
If you don't enjoy programming or technology, go find something else you are interested in. All the good programmers and IT people I've met have enjoyed what they do. The ones that don't are usually dragging down the rest of the team.
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If you don't enjoy programming or technology, go find something else you are interested in. All the good programmers and IT people I've met have enjoyed what they do. The ones that don't are usually dragging down the rest of the team.
There's a huge difference between enjoying what you do and it being something you're passionate about.
Most people enjoy at least some of what they do for a job without being so interested that they would do it for no pay.
"Not eager" (Score:5, Insightful)
I see another "poster girl" raising awareness of the "pay inequality" [aauw.org] in the making...
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Now compare her with somebody else, who has — since graduating college — worked for two years, loves what he is doing and is enthusiastic about continuing. Like her husband.
Her husband? The one who says "I'm a Java developer myself with many years of experience but mostly doing boring Java Enterprise stuff"?
He just sounds like someone doing a job, not someone in love with it.
What does she WANT to do? (Score:3)
Manage Outsourcing (Score:3)
You listed a bunch of strengths:
1) she has J2EE experience
2) she lives in Spain where the developer job market sucks
3) she has the talent
4) she'd like to move up to a better job
So, how about she goes and finds un/under-employed local programmers, sets up a syndicate, and manages outsourcing jobs for enterprises in areas where the labor market is tight?
That will gain her marketable sales and management skills which she can then parlay into better career opportunities. Maybe even sell the company once it's successful.
I'm assuming she can speak English about as well as you can, which is plenty good (I can't tell if you're native or not).
Here's the thing that bothers me most about your post, though: she's of child-bearing age, so I'll assume under 40, and you say doing IT is better than picking up a new career now. Don't fool yourself - she'll be working another 40 years (unless the AI's take over) and so she's less than 1/3rd of the way into her career. If you love her, you'll want her to be happy for the next 40 years, and you'll support her in finding/creating something that supports her passions and can pay the bills. So, if she really hates IT, ignore what I wrote above and work hard to help her find her purpose.
Don't do it (Score:4, Informative)
First answer why does she want to go back to work? Is it because your family needs a second income, is it because she's bored at home and being a full time mother is not what she wants to do, something different, maybe she's looking for part time work. All of these are equally valid options, but before she decides to do something, she should understand why, to ensure that she's actually fulfilling those goals.
Unless your family absolutely needs the extra money, and there is no option for any other employment why try to have her go into programming?
She only had 2 years experience to begin with, so she's still an entry level developer. Basically that means going back to programming might as well be entering a new career as well.
If she doesn't enjoy or want to be a developer it's more likely she's going to be very dissatisfied and not fulfilled.
My suggestion would be to have her apply for a number of different types of jobs. Some that fulfill the reasons that she wants to go back into the work force that could be built into a career that she wants to be in, and maybe, developer positions as a last resort.
Systems Analyst / Doc Writer / Project Manager (Score:2)
Java UX (Score:2)
It has been my experience that many women enjoy and are actually better than men at UX design. The best books I have are authored by women and when I pass ideas or problems by others, women often bring better insights and ideas than men.
She's lucky to be able to jump back in! (Score:3)
I guess things really are different in Europe with respect to employment. I understand Spain is having economic troubles now, but you are very lucky your wife has the choice. In the US, most women who take time off to take care of children are branded unemployable, and often treated worse than a non-mother with a long-term gap in their employment.
It's a legitimate concern for my wife and I. She has a good job that pays well, but is very inflexible and involves a long commute. My oldest kid is going to be entering school next year, and the younger one is only 2 years behind that. I would love for her to have the choice to stay home and work a more flexible job or just take care of the kids. The problem is, once she pulls that trigger and decides to leave, getting comparable employment again is extremely hard. We could get by on one income, but frankly having the financial cushion allows us to actually save, and enjoy life at the same time. Without that second income, there would be some pretty deep cuts since we live in an expensive area and have other high fixed costs. So yes, we've definitely talked about it and are both coming to the same conclusion -- that leaving is a one-way choice and it would severely reduce our retirement savings, etc. Not that she won't eventually do it...the sad thing is that it's a permanent reduction in income.
Whether she wants to go back to coding, or do something different, she should be happy she has this choice. If she doesn't like development, a systems analyst or PM would be a good choice. An analyst with half a clue on how some of the stuff she's specifying works is a huge plus.
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In the US, most women who take time off to take care of children are branded unemployable, and often treated worse than a non-mother with a long-term gap in their employment.
It's a legitimate concern for my wife and I. She has a good job that pays well, but is very inflexible and involves a long commute...
So she could look for a more flexible job with a shorter commute and work part time from home or something like that...
Or you could be the stay at home dad and let your wife go to work... (it's an option, but I suspect you would fear for you career too)
the break isn't a big deal, the lack of passion is (Score:3, Insightful)
I got back into programming after a 7 year hiatus during which I went to law school and practiced law. I spent about 3 months writing apps to refresh my skills and then took the first job I got offered a few weeks after posting my resume. I am now back to senior developer status after 2 years, making good money. I was 8 years in to my career before I went back to school and I continued to do development work here and there (ie personal programming projects) while I was out of the industry.
The big problem here is your wife's lack of passion. If someone doesn't want to code, you're fighting a losing battle. It takes at least 5-6 years of intensive development experience before you start becoming genuinely good at coding. You need to see lots of problems and solve them. You need to fuck up at least a few times and learn from your mistakes. You need to overengineer something by accident at least once and learn from your wasted effort. You need to overcommit to a project and burn out. You need to make assumptions and then get burned when they turn into defects because it turns out you aren't a mind reader. You need to work with lots of developers that are better than you and learn new ways of doing things.
Suffering through that pain and humiliation for years takes a real passion for programming. If you aren't passionate about it, you aren't going to keep coming back to it again and again.
Why are you (not she) posting this question? (Score:4, Insightful)
That's not rhetorical. She isn't posting this; you are, and there's a reason.
You've already established that your wife doesn't want a 'job' in IT.
Go listen to her and find out what she wants. If she wants your help, help her.
"...it's relatively easier to find a job in IT than starting a new career..."
comes off a "IT folks and my wife can handle jobs, not careers".
Android? (Score:2)
How about Android? Use all those mad Java skills, but skip all the "Enterprise" BS. Might be fun.
Re: (Score:2)
She's think about it, or you are? (Score:2)
If she's thinking about it, why are you the one asking about it?
Sounds more like she's thinking about not trying very hard to get back into it ... You ever consider that she doesn't actually want to? Maybe you want her too? Maybe she's only trying to put forth enough effort to appease you but not actually enough to get a job?
Something is wrong if you're asking for her.
It is the economy (Score:3)
I do not know you financial situation at all. But my wife and I were in a similar situation a couple of years ago. And it basically boils down to two things:
1) You are parents. That means sometimes doing things you do not particularly like to make sure that your kids will have a reasonably stable upbringing - aka you can pay for stuff.
2) Regardless of what you do, it is easier to get the next job if you are employed.
No matter how you end up dealing with your situation, remember your wife. Help her, listen to her and be there. In a year or two you will have moved on, and this will just be another story to annoy your kids with.
Best of luck!
You are asking the wrong people. (Score:2)
You say your wife doesn't seem to be into dev anymore. Have you even THOUGHT about asking *HER* what *SHE* wants to do?
Beat her with a stick (Score:2)
ScrumMaster, Requirements Engineer, BA (Score:2)
If she is still into IT, then either planning/management stuff might be interesting (BA=Business Analyst), or probably operating, second or third level support might be interesting.
I once worked for a bank in operations, very well payed, but boring as I had not much to do. That was 90% Calypso related (a trading software) and SQL on Sybase and a little bit of Solaris/Unix work.
Bottom line I was there 8h a day and worked like 1h - 2h per day, you could read books or surf the internet.
Actually a sign of a smo
Practicality (Score:2)
A lot of people are commenting about her deserving a fulfilling career or about children needing a parent around and all sorts of stuff like that. That's all well and good, but I am assuming a little differently.
The fact that he is bothering with this at all makes me think it is possible that the family simply NEEDS the money. Maybe he is just being the financially responsible one and she is not.
Sure it would be great if she could find a new career which she would love. But.. if they NEED the money now an
Um, ya ... (Score:2)
Before, she worked as a Java developer for around two years doing mostly Java Enterprise stuff. However, she is not very eager to go back to coding. I think she has the right mental skills to be a developer, but she is just not very passionate about coding or IT in general.
So let me re-phrase things for you: I think you have the right mental skills to be a good partner/husband, but you keep saying stupid things like that. Keep it up and and enjoy your divorce... :-)
Technical Writing (Score:2)
If she is a decent writer, she could parlay her programming experience into a technical writing position. Many require programming experience. The hours and work environment are more like a regular job.
Android development (Score:2)
Stick with experience (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Presumably because they need the money, and as was pointed out by the OP, it's easier to break back into a field you were already in, than a new one. Breaking into a totally new field not right out of college *is* kind of difficult, after all, especially if you've been totally out of the workforce for 3 years (but even if you haven't).
My wife is also looking towards completely changing career paths entirely out of IT (where she's been for a few years). I totally wish her luck, but it's not the easiest thing
Re: (Score:2)
She is starting to think about refreshing her coding skills and looking for a job
Doesn't sound urgent or like they need the money.
Re: (Score:2)
Not only do we have to respect her life choices, we need to make sure that once she does choose to go back to work, she starts off with pay not equal to where it was when she left but equal to where she would be had she not left and continued to receive COLAs and promotions, etc. Or are you really stupid enough to believe that the woman sitting next to you doing the same work as you at the same level as you who has never had children and worked reduced hours and taken maternity leave, etc. really is being
Re: (Score:2)
If a man chose to take 3 years off to raise a child and clean a house, we'd castigate him
No, you would castigate him. i don't see what the problem is, if the woman has a better paid or more interesting career.
You're just showing your insecurity.
Re: (Score:2)
He said she should have the power to choose a career for herself. Where is the inequality?
Re:Of For Fucks Sake (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
I have absolutely no interest in technology, computers, programming or any of that nerdy stuff but I would inexplicably like to work in some sort of programming/developer/IT role anyway. Any suggestions?
Re: (Score:2)
Ah kids these days. This years fad is not a huge wave.
Re: (Score:3)
Well, yes, annoyed is an alternative to bored.