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Christmas Cheer

Company Christmas Gifts / Bonuses? 1330

Posted by michael
from the lump-of-coal dept.
A wisely anonymous reader writes "Following my company's Christmas party on Friday, I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO! Needless to say I was PISSED. They didn't even comp. parking at the site of the party, let alone a bonus. yeah, yeah, times are tough. I should be happy just to have a job. but getting a damn doll of the guy who made 65 million last year just makes me angry. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"
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Company Christmas Gifts / Bonuses?

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  • Work (Score:4, Funny)

    by jbf (30261) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:42PM (#4894111)
    Enough to be stuck in the office on a Sunday evening.
  • iPod!!! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by TiMac (621390) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:42PM (#4894112)
    I don't know what I'll get (if anything), but what I *want* is an iPod. Go to the Apple Store and click on iPod....it seems Apple offers discounts on iPods for companies that give them as gifts! C'mon boss!!!!
  • voodoo (Score:5, Funny)

    by doofusclam (528746) <slash@seanyseansean.com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:42PM (#4894114) Homepage
    Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!
    • Re:voodoo (Score:5, Funny)

      by saskboy (600063) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:49PM (#4894206) Homepage Journal
      I'd sell it on eBay. It could turn into a lot of money after all.

      Hey, I managed to sell an empty, used, chewed BIC pen. CEO bobble heads could be pricesless...
    • Re:voodoo (Score:5, Informative)

      by macdaddy357 (582412) <macdaddy357@hotmail.com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:42PM (#4894648)
      A bobblehead of the boss! Has anyone submitted this to pud@fuckedcompany.com? The poster should, and should name the company and CEO. I am surprised nobody has gone postal over such an insult. I wonder if that bobblehead would still look cute shoved sideways up the boss's ass? Does anyone know the name of the company who did this?
    • by 0x0d0a (568518) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:56PM (#4895143) Journal
      Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!

      This kind of statement, "funny" though it may be, is a pretty good reflection of the current (IMHO stupid) feelings of a lot of people on Slashdot, judging from their comments.

      A bonus is a special reward -- an employee did something really exceptional and their employer wanted to show their appreciation.

      A bonus is *not* something that an employer is required or expected to give to an employee. If you wanted more *salary*, you should have negotiated it.

      I'm not sure at what point workers started feeling that they were "entitled" to this gift. A Christmas bonus is a nice idea, but it certainly isn't something guaranteed. And, readers, if you're relying on it to support your finances around Christmas time, harsh as this may sound, you deserve whatever's coming. It's time for some actual financial management.
      • by pyros (61399) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @09:51PM (#4895507) Journal
        I don't take the posters comments to mean a bonus was expected. Rather that the gift was insulting. I would be insulted by that gift. Consider that the company had to spend money to buy the things to give to employees. Personally, I'd rather have the cash or nothing.
        • by jayhawk88 (160512) <jayhawk88@gmail.com> on Monday December 16, 2002 @01:10AM (#4896604)
          Exactly. The company I work for has a habit of giving out "gifts" during Employee Appreciation Week, which of course are typically cheap, plastic, and not really wanted. One year they gave out license plates with "(Company)'s Employees are the Best!" printed on them. Another year we got these little clocks that are supposed to look like those fancy executive-type desk clocks with the stands and "minimal" black design, except these were plastic and tend not to keep very accurate time.

          This past year we got roll-up blankets, which from what I hear is the best Employee Appreciation Week gift ever. This must be a techie thing: I know some people probably get off on stuff like this, but I could really care less. You want to "Appreciate" me, give me a half-day off or something.
      • by keepr (613447) on Monday December 16, 2002 @12:00AM (#4896306) Homepage
        I am on salary where I work and I was told I would get Quarterly bonuses. I have yet to receive one of theese mystical checks, None of my co-workers have recevied them either.. I have been promoted 2 times in the last year, I guess I am doing a good job, Yet no bonus!

        One of our managers slipped up one day when a computer was stolen and stated "Damnit! that's going to come out of our bonus again" This leads us to believe only upper managment is receiving a bonus although we were all told we would be getting a bonus quarterly..

        We commonly hear " You guys need to get sales up or we will not have a bonus this quater " Then we hear nothing!! Not even hey we didn't make enough to give out a bonus this quarter, nothing..

        Yes we should ask about our bonus, but honestly I think we all fear our current economy and don't want to make any waves, But is it not wronge for them to simply dismiss something we were told we would receive? When I took my job I figured in my salary + my vacation + my estimated bonus.. All the sudden I feel robbed when I reflect on it. Especially when I am praised for the great work I am doing, if I want lip service I will go on a date.

        Let me close by saying, I like my job. In fact I have turned down higher paying positions simply because I like my working environment. But when times get tight I start to ask myself if I should be looking for employment elsewhere.
      • by MacAndrew (463832) on Monday December 16, 2002 @12:27AM (#4896426) Homepage
        Insufficient cyncism! Here, the left wing can give the right a drubbing:

        I'm not sure at what point workers started feeling that they were "entitled" to this gift.

        The calculating view: Nothing your employer never gives you is a gift. It is compensation for services rendered or incentive cultivation of good will. Either way, the employer deducts it and the employee is taxed on it, with certain minor exceptions for gifts worth less than $25 and the like. According to the IRS, employer-to-employee gifts simply don't happen, and I don't think we should be any less stoic.

        As for bonuses being per se gratuitous, that's not so perhaps because the popular understanding of bonus bridges over into year-end compensation. An incentive bonus between employers and employees as an express or implied part of the work relationship can not be withheld on caprice -- it's merely delayed compensation. Entitlement to a future bonus may be valid even post-termination: employers sometimes illegally fire employees to avoid paying benefits.

        In short, in some cases the expectation of bonus is morally justified; in more severe cases it may be a legally actionable entitlement. In rare cases the discriminatory or abritrary administration of a bonus system may also be illegal (racist, sexist, and so on).

        But I digress because of the compulsion to be thorough. My philosophical advice: Remember, it's not a gift, it's compensation.

        Your comment is a reflection of the unfortunate and legally inaccurate attitude that employers are doing you a favor by giving you a job, bonuses, and so on -- while also acting as though employment contracts were negotiated among equals. Which is it?

        And, readers, if you're relying on it to support your finances around Christmas time, harsh as this may sound, you deserve whatever's coming.

        Sure, and you may also deserve that bonus coming. And I don't mean a fuck-you bobbing doll of your wealthy CEO, fit only for target practice. (OK, perhaps that was the writer's due reward; I'm being charitable.) What the writer apparently feels is a moral betrayal. It's hard to judge reasonableness without knowing enough details, but the decision could go either way. If it looks likely this crap will continue regardless of work performance, I'd recommend updating the resume.
        • by 0x0d0a (568518) on Monday December 16, 2002 @01:03AM (#4896578) Journal
          Here, the left wing can give the right a drubbing

          Ooogh. I always seem to dislike the ideals of both the left and right wings...unions and religious nuts. Ick.

          The calculating view: Nothing your employer never gives you is a gift. It is compensation for services rendered or incentive cultivation of good will.

          [shrug] Sure, and if you look at some of my other posts in this story (like the HR department being happy to drop you like a hot potato), you'll see that I agree. "Gift" works well for illustrating the degree of expectation that one should have for a bonus, though.

          Either way, the employer deducts it and the employee is taxed on it, with certain minor exceptions for gifts worth less than $25 and the like.

          This is criticism of some sort of business-centric government, I'm assuming, since you're taking the "left wing" approach? Nah. There's no conspiracy. If a bonus is beneficial to you, you can afford to make a larger, flashier bonus.

          According to the IRS, employer-to-employee gifts simply don't happen, and I don't think we should be any less stoic.

          As I said, I don't consider it truly a gift, but from the employee's point of view, that's the degree of reliability that should be assigned. And whatever the IRS wants to classify something as has little bearing on what it actually is -- there's too much money involved in bonuses for the IRS not to have fun regulating things.

          As for bonuses being per se gratuitous, that's not so perhaps because the popular understanding of bonus bridges over into year-end compensation. An incentive bonus between employers and employees as an express or implied part of the work relationship can not be withheld on caprice -- it's merely delayed compensation. Entitlement to a future bonus may be valid even post-termination: employers sometimes illegally fire employees to avoid paying benefits.

          Sure. And while I'm sure it's happened at some point, I've never heard of a Christmas bonus (particularly for any specific amount) being granted either expressly or implied.

          In short, in some cases the expectation of bonus is morally justified

          Come on, now. A *moral* justification? You're opening a can of worms -- are *your* morals the same as others?

          in more severe cases it may be a legally actionable entitlement

          You still need to provide your "express or implied part of the work relationship" element.

          In rare cases the discriminatory or abritrary administration of a bonus system may also be illegal (racist, sexist, and so on).

          True (though that complaint is ridiculously overused in the United States), but that doesn't really have bearing on what we're talking about here -- a doll instead of a fat cash bonus.

          But I digress because of the compulsion to be thorough. My philosophical advice: Remember, it's not a gift, it's compensation.

          It's an incentive, but not an agreed-upon form of compensation.

          Your comment is a reflection of the unfortunate and legally inaccurate attitude that employers are doing you a favor by giving you a job, bonuses, and so on -- while also acting as though employment contracts were negotiated among equals. Which is it?

          I do not agree. A favor of giving you a job? They're trying to maximize their own bottom line...and the same goes for bonuses. You can't reasonably have extrapolated to this degree simply from my use of the word "gift".


          Sure, and you may also deserve that bonus coming.


          Do you "deserve" it? I see the moral can o' worms coming again. "Deserving" something is a wonderful tool to use in an argument, because it's so fantastically ill-defined, and because people tend to have fairly self-centric views on what is "deserved". Wendy and Miki may both feel that they "deserve" the big, orange _____, and there is no resolution to the problem that doesn't leave one feeling that she's been stiffed.

          What the writer apparently feels is a moral betrayal. /me grins. That isn't much of a justification. Tell me, how many people here feel that you're "paid enough" for your work? Or perhaps you feel that you're "overpaid" for your work? I think that few people would say this -- most people I've talked to feel that their talents are underappreciated. Yet, when the plumber comes to fix your flooding living room, don't you get a nagging feel that *he* is "overpaid"? Morality is a wonderfully distorted thing that you can use to support almost any argument. The Crusades were supported on moral grounds. Tell me, without using vague moral arguments, why it is reasonable, or a good idea, for this person to *expect* that bonus?

          If it looks likely this crap will continue regardless of work performance, I'd recommend updating the resume.

          Oh, criminy. You're willing to say this without knowing what his salary and benefits *already* are?
      • by handorf (29768) on Monday December 16, 2002 @10:25AM (#4898460)
        Correct, a bonus is for exceptional behavior.

        Quick: What do you think the CEO got as his contractual, required bonus that year?

        In this age of outrageous executive salarys (STILL, even in the age of gargantuan bankrupcys and frauds) and large layoffs at the same time, giving employees a bobble head of the CEO is an incredible slap in the face.
    • by SEGV (1677) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @09:52PM (#4895516) Homepage
      Might as well make it useful.
  • by ColdGrits (204506) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:42PM (#4894115)
    So what makes you think you shoudl have the automatic right to DEMAND a Christmas "bonus"?

    What exactly have you done that is so special and above what you are paid to do that justifies your expectation of extra pay purely because it is december?

    Genuine question.
    • I believe the issue is that money was spent on him, but it was worthless. He would much rather see money on his paycheck than a bobblehead of the CEO that is going straight into the garbage.
    • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:50PM (#4894219)
      Two things:

      1.) A lot of salaried people work a whole helluva lot of overtime, especially towards the end of the year. They don't get overtime or anything for this because it's just 'part of their job'. It's not unreasonable to want to get a bit of compensation for that extra work.

      2.) There are some companies who are doing better now-a-days (like mine) than they were a year ago. This is often a result of hard workers within the company. Reward us.

      I never expect one, but I'm pleasantly surprised if I do get one.
    • By any chance have you read this [amazon.com]? It might answer your question.
    • by LostCluster (625375) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:55PM (#4894262)
      Distributing a bobblehead of the CEO is self-serving of the CEO rather than anything that is of value to the employees.

      Whatever they spent on the design and making of such thing has to be seen as wasted spending. It did not relate the the product of the company, and it likely hurt the company's ability to retain employees.

      The Christmas bonus is a concept in which the owners of the company give to the employees money that they don't have to because that giving inspires goodwill between the employees and the company. Employees who like their present employer are less likely to start looking for ways to jump to the competition or into another field.

      For the company to say "Sorry, times are tough, we can't afford a bonus/party/gift" is acceptable if it's true. For the CEO to flaunt his ability to spend company money on his own image while saying that times are tough is an action that is so loud it drowns out his words.

      • by vistic (556838) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:05PM (#4894369)
        Whatever they spent on the design and making of such thing has to be seen as wasted spending. It did not relate the the product of the company, and it likely hurt the company's ability to retain employees.

        Hey, he never said where he works. Maybe he works for a bobblehead making company.

      • by Resident_Geek (105025) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:39PM (#4894622) Homepage
        Finally someone with the clarity of mind to understand the problem. Thank you. To extend his point. Why should a CEO be paid in the millions for what he does. There is no justification for those high salaries especially when the company is hurting. And it is almost never the average Joe Blow actually on the phone lines/assembly lines/etc that is responsible for the poor performance. But they are the ones that have to shoulder the burden. If the company is doing bad, then the owners and management should take paycuts long before the low employees have to. If you don't agree then look at it this way. How much would your respect for your boss change if your boss took a paycut and you didn't have to. That is real leadership. I say this as the owner and CEO of my own small company. My people are always eager to put my needs first because I always put them first. Put another way, it is the Golden Rule.
        • by amoups (536894) <dodgecola&yahoo,com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:59PM (#4895155) Homepage
          Why should a CEO be paid in the millions for what he does.

          In Japan, it is illegal for the lowes-paid employee in any given company to be paid less than a specified percentage of the highest-paid employee. It's a bit of a socialist tendency, but there's definitely some thought behind the law.
        • by gwernol (167574) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @09:08PM (#4895207)
          How much would your respect for your boss change if your boss took a paycut and you didn't have to. That is real leadership.

          The small/medium sized company I work for had a hard start to 2002. Our CEO took a 20% pay cut and the rest of the senior management team (the VP level people) took a 10% pay cut. All other salaries were frozen. This does happen in the real world. For every idiot boss who thinks his folks want a bobblehead of him, there are many good bosses who know how to survive rough times.

          My company is now doing better and 2003 should be a great improvement.
    • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:55PM (#4894276)
      Okay, nice troll.While I can definitely agree with your sentiment, consider this:

      What did the CEO do that is so special that it creates his/her expectation of 6-figure salaries with use of company assets and a golden parachute regardless of the time of year?

      Are they that much better educated or hard working? Probably not. Are they really that good of a manager? Probably not. It's hard not to be lazy when you have a staff of assistants and your leather chair and hardwood desk are so comfy after that prime rib lunch today...

      Maybe if people were simply paid better for the work they DO, they wouldn't be behind on bills and expect a bonus just to make ends meet.I don't buy the whole "times are tough" bullshit when stuff like this goes on. I'm talking about hooking people up with less than a $1000 to show some appreciation for those who stick around and put up with company politics, backstabbing, and egos.

      Yeah, I'm sure the childless, single people with no responsibilities will chime in with suggestions about better managing finances...but you folks are obviously more readily able to absorb unforseeable hits on your pocketbook because you aren't paying for daycare. health insurance, etc. So what if you have to buy 20 less lattes this month and can't afford that new masturbatory turbo video card. Oh, my bleeding heart...

      • Yeah, I'm sure the childless, single people with no responsibilities will chime in with suggestions about better managing finances...
        but you folks are obviously more readily able to absorb unforseeable hits on your pocketbook because you aren't paying for daycare. health insurance, etc. So what if you have to buy 20 less lattes this month and can't afford that new masturbatory turbo video card. Oh, my bleeding heart...


        Just because YOU and partner, made the choice to have children is not a reasonable justification for the lack of fiscal responsibility. Perhaps instead of me buying twenty less lattes this month you should of had the fore sight to learn about birth control.

        It also insenses me that you have the nerve to make it seem like companies favor childless, single people. I've received many an e-mail from my employers about Halloween parties for children of employees or Santa visiting, those dollars spent could go to my salary or a nice party for the "Adults"

        As far as being able to absorb unforseeable hit to the pocket book. I'm sure that "S/he has a family to support" has influenced many a layoff.

      • by The AtomicPunk (450829) on Monday December 16, 2002 @12:06AM (#4896341)
        The real problem to married couples with children isn't salaries, it's taxes.

        Nowadays, the tax rate is so oppressive one person has to work just to pay the tax burden.

        And yet, like the sheep that we are, we will continue voting for republicrats or demopublicans that'll just keep sticking it to us.

    • by Dusabre (176445) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:57PM (#4894292) Homepage
      He's not complaining about not getting a bonus, he's happy to have a job, he's fragged to have got a friggin' doll of his boss.
    • by MarcQuadra (129430) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:16PM (#4894870)
      What have I done? I'm basically on call 24/7 because I'm paid hourly and so low that I'll do whatever-the-fsck any of my 6 managers ask. I've taken every friday-night assignment, every 'work until midnight tonight, then report 200 miles away from home at 8am the following day' assignment, and every 'it's cheaper to use techies to shovel shit into dumpsters than to have a waste company do it' assignment. This is how hard I work, and three days this week I have to NOT EAT to buy gifts for my mom, dad, and girlfriend. This is why the suits who collect six-figures oughtta at least kick us a piece of the pie this christmas. The economy will continue to suck as long as workers are squeezed as hard as they are.
      • by ONOIML8 (23262) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @10:26PM (#4895772) Homepage
        Whoever modded that up as funny is a sick fuck.

        It's not fucking funny. Some of us really do work that hard. No shit, I'm on call 24/7/365 without any additional pay. I can not go out and have more than two beers unless I'm on vacation because I'm on call.

        I have to take odd jobs to help make ends meet. I go the extra mile just to put a smile on my kids faces this winter.

        To those of you who actually have the comfort about complaining about what little bonus you get, and then think that his post is funny, I say:

        Fuck you!

        You know what's worse? You're my boss.

        That's right pal, I'm a government employee.

        Think about that for a minute. What if I suddenly decided that I should chase a better job. I donno, something like your job where you get bonuses, cheesy as they may be. Who are you gonna get to keep your 911 centers running then? You're not, unless you are willing to pay more (in taxes).

        So go ahead, mod it up as funny. Give him a 5. Get yourself a good laugh.

        But when you go to bed tonight say your prayers. Pray that you don't ever, EVER find yourself in the position of having to make every dollar count.

  • by jhughes (85890) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:42PM (#4894116) Homepage
    We wont get laid off
  • Regiving (Score:5, Funny)

    by n3rd (111397) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:43PM (#4894120)
    Paint on some cuts, bruises and put a bunch of blood around the neck like he was decapitated. Then give it back to him.

    Maybe he'll get the message then.
  • by RealBeanDip (26604) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:44PM (#4894131)
    Gimme a freakin' break!!! I can't imagine what goes through someones head to think that someone else might possibly want a bobble head doll in their likeness!
  • What I got (Score:5, Funny)

    by Joe Jordan (453607) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:44PM (#4894134) Journal
    . So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

    the shaft.
  • by NineNine (235196) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:45PM (#4894143)
    ... and a new "tobacco water pipe". Of course, I am the boss. I just hope that I don't decide to start randomly drug testing myself.
  • That BITES (Score:3, Informative)

    by nbvb (32836) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:45PM (#4894147) Journal
    You know, it would've been better if they had given you nothing at all.

    Really. Suctitiude.

    What did we get for Christmas? Nothing. The company decided to host the annual "Holiday Party" (It's not a Christmas party, let's not be offensive!) in the company cafeteria.

    Feels like I'm back in high school .... I wouldn't go to that if they paid me for it.

    Instead, one of my vendors (a Sun reseller) is taking us out on a cruise around Manhattan island. Now *THAT'S* nice!

    And bonuses? We don't get holiday bonuses; instead we get "merit-based" bonuses at the end of the 1st quarter, based on our performance last year. My target is 10% of my salary, but my bonus typically ranges in the 5-6% range -- nobody ever gets their full target percentage. That wouldn't be fair to the bell curve!

    So I can't really complain. Sure, they went cheap on the holiday party, but my Sun sales rep & friends are the folks I want to have a few drinks with anyway! At least I'm still employed, and hopefully our 1Q bonuses will be good this year -- we had the best 3rd quarter on record, ever. Added 1.1 million customers ... not shabby :)

    --NBVB
  • by labratuk (204918) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:45PM (#4894149)
    That was a Voodoo Doll!
  • by IamTheRealMike (537420) <mike@plan99.net> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:45PM (#4894156) Homepage
    that you got anything at all.

    Where I work, I write software for all kinds of stuff, but get about 60p more per hour than when I was at the museum telling customers where the loos were. I have to work late each day next week to save up hours so we can have the afternoon off to go to a pub lunch. That is what we get for christmas. Nothing. Nada. No time off for the christmas lunch (which we are paying for). My dept isn't doing badly, but the others are finding it tough, hence the austerity measures.

  • by jamesgregory (633886) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:46PM (#4894162)
    3 of my clients pitched in and got me a new computer! It must have been that overused excuse that 'my computer crashed' and 'that's why the work isn't done yet'. Guess I have been reading too much slashdot ;)
  • lol (Score:5, Funny)

    by l33t-gu3lph1t3 (567059) <arch_angel16.hotmail@com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:47PM (#4894171) Homepage
    a pink slip, and the second thing i got in the mail was my tuition payment request. Dammit, I could've been a drug dealer for better pay, and hours, and perks...lol...
  • by moronga (323123) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:47PM (#4894177)
    I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!

    You work for Oracle?
    • Re:Let me guess... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by utherdoul (634522) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:01PM (#4894758) Homepage
      I write for a major technology magazine... any oracle employees who would like to vent in print about their cheezy bonus (anonymously, if you'd like) are encouraged to email me at dewalt@cmp.com

      hell, if you work in IT at all and want to vent about your bonus, send me an email.

      </self-interested plea>
  • My bonus.. (Score:3, Interesting)

    by questforme (542772) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:47PM (#4894181) Homepage
    All I want for Christmas is a FREAKIN JOB!! Been out of work since September..
  • by johnatjohnytech (632978) <john.johnytech@com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:48PM (#4894192) Homepage
    Fully Vested Stock Options at $7 a share.

    Now the stock is at 5.479

    Guess what they are offering this year for contractors who work over 100 hours this holiday season.....
  • Quit (Score:5, Funny)

    by fobbman (131816) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:52PM (#4894230) Homepage
    You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.

    Out of curiosity, where do you work? What are the benefits like? Would they pay to relocate?

  • At least... (Score:3, Funny)

    by dr_dank (472072) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:52PM (#4894236) Homepage Journal
    you didn't get a one year subscription to the jelly-of-the-month club [imdb.com].

    Which, IMHO, led to one of the best tirades in a motion picture.
  • What the - ! (Score:3, Interesting)

    by IIRCAFAIKIANAL (572786) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:53PM (#4894238) Journal
    Nothing entitles you to a christmas bonus, but nothing would have been better than a stupid toy. A bonus is a sign of respect for you as an employee and that shows a complete lack of respect.

    Considering how the economy is right now, I expect you will see a bunch of "you're lucky you have a job" flames.

    Incidently, I got turkey money - a gift certificate for a major supermarket chain. We usually get a bonus if the company sells a certain amount of product, but due to extenuating circumstances (drawn out price negotiations with a major customer which means we'll sell a lot of product next year but didn't hit our forecast at all this year) we won't be getting anything.

    And we're fighting off a hostile takeover right now, so I may just get a pink slip for christmas (or have to move to another city, if I'm lucky).

    Merry fucking Christmas everyone :)
  • Could be worse (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Dukeofshadows (607689) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:55PM (#4894270) Journal
    My brother's boss is toying with the idea of having his staff working on Xmas day. He doesn't celebrate the holiday but they don't get off the holidays he celebrates either.
  • by egjertse (197141) <slashdot@futt . o rg> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:56PM (#4894281) Homepage
    It could have been a life size doll [slashdot.org]!
  • by LostCluster (625375) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @06:58PM (#4894313)
    It's hard for a leader to ask his followers to do anything that he isn't willing to do himself. How can a CEO credibily cut costs at the company when his own pay is $65 million and he's destributing bobbleheads of himself? Couldn't he live on the still-large pay of $45 million and reallocate the $20 million to softening (not eliminating, just softening) the blow to the rest of the company? Or have companies given up on trying to get employees to be loyal anymore?
    • by wdr1 (31310) <{moc.xobop} {ta} {1rdw}> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:40PM (#4895034) Homepage Journal
      Why should s/he?

      For one, the salaries you mentioned aren't that common. But even in the cases where they are, the companies feel they are producing value worth that amount over the term of their contracts. The company doesn't have to pay it, but if it is that calibur of CEO, another company will. Just like sports salary's. You don't *have* to pay a given player $20 million, but if you don't there is another team that will. What's wrong with that?

      Are you saying you would stay at your job out of loyalty, even if they were paying you $25,000 and another offered you $75,000?

      -Bill
  • by Burnon (19653) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:01PM (#4894336)
    ... are that:
    • the company actually spends money on thousands of these promotional pieces of junk, money that could have instead been spent on the bottom line, or at least on something that isn't tossed, ignored, and useless.
    • someone in the company gets paid to come up with the idea of the bobble-head doll, and other pieces of promotional junk that your typical employee ignores
    I mean hey, a gift that shows that people in the company are thinking of you is nice, but these meaningless items reek of the "you are a number" philosophy. It seems like the bigger a company gets, the more likely that it is to generate this kind of landfill.
  • by ONOIML8 (23262) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:06PM (#4894380) Homepage
    I got the usual.

    Nothing

    Zip

    Nada

    Not even a thank you.

    911 dispatch wants to know where to physically find me on xmas and new years tho in case communications go out as I am on call for that, without pay.

    Of course I would much rather have nothing compared to your gag gift doll. That's just sick.

  • Am I the only one? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by sunking2 (521698) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:07PM (#4894389)
    who thinks that this is a totally made up troll of a submittal? I mean, a bobble head doll of the ceo? I find that extremely unlikely. Not to mention the ceo makes '65 million' crap that is added to try to make it even moer sensational. And if it's posted anonymously, why not a company name associated with it? Troll troll troll...
  • Quepee Doll (Score:3, Funny)

    by EverDense (575518) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:08PM (#4894406) Homepage
    Kit yourself out like this [akrondesign.com] and buy some sewing needles.
  • What I got (Score:5, Funny)

    by AntiTuX (202333) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:09PM (#4894419) Homepage
    I got laid-off from AOL/Time warner. In the folder with the severance package paperwork, they had the audacity to put an AOL cd. I shit you not. I was really fucking offended by that.

    Funny thing is, is this was just the kick in the ass I needed to get the hell out of the tech field anyhow. Sometimes you just hit your artistic and creative limits, and need to move on.
  • by jsimon12 (207119) <tzzhc4@@@yahoo...com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:14PM (#4894446) Homepage
    We had a potluck lunch and a coat drive, which is the exact opposite of what we had during the .com boom, which was a mega bash (rented a hotel, the whole hotel and boozed it up till the weeee hours) and a nice heafty bonus. So I guess all I recieved this year was my job.
  • by hackus (159037) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:15PM (#4894454) Homepage
    Look at it this way Mike, you got a Bobble Head doll and he got ONLY 65 Million...

    Just be thankful the guy doesn't end up biling you out of your retirement as well... :-)

    -Hack

    PS: Take a pay cut and send it too the guy and plead with him NOT too...after all, he probably is working on his third home and that employee 401K/Retirement plan probably looks pretty juicy!
  • Free pizza (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Ratbert42 (452340) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:16PM (#4894461)
    I got free pizza when we worked all weekend. Oh, and we all got our pre-Christmas vacations cancelled.
  • by gregwbrooks (512319) <gregb@@@west-third...com> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:20PM (#4894481)
    I work for a small (non-I.T.) consulting firm, and as one of the senior folks I *might* get a bonus this year. Maybe. If the boss feels like it and if doing so will reduce the amoung of corporate income taxes she pays.

    My point: You can bonus me $1.98 for the year if you feel like it, but nail it to some objective performance measurement.

    Memo to management: You want better results? Give people something to aim for and then clearly explain what the reward is for exceeding goals.

    (Now, having said all that, I have to add: The bobblehead thing would have had me sending out resumes in a heartbeat. It's one thing for management to lack clues; it's another thing entirely for them to be mean-spirited.

    • It has been my experience that poor managers do not employ this seemingly useful and effective technique for three reasons:

      1) They don't have enough understanding of the business market/human resources/financial situation to know if a given set of goals are reasonable.

      2) They don't know the work routine of their employees enough to tell when one person has contributed more than another, and

      3) They certianly don't know enough about it to codify a reward system months in advance of the actual competion of the work.

      This is particularly common in small companies with rapidly shifting company goals and projects.
  • Just a dinner (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Billly Gates (198444) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:31PM (#4894563) Journal
    But considering its a small bussiness with less then 10 employees and not to mention the owner is paying for the dinner that cost 5 grand out of his own pocket, its not bad.

    Especially considering that companies must lower costs. If it was a bigger company then it might be different....oh and I only get christmass day off. I guess thats the down part.

  • by logic7 (462356) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:33PM (#4894578) Journal
    hey, all you folks complaining about getting laid off and mentioning that this guy should be glad to have received the fscking gift. get real. the poster was asking *employed* people for their comments.

    what you people are doing here is like saying "sure your wife is ugly but at least you have a wife. be grateful".

    and yes, i expect an ipod as a company gift. :)

  • by ssclift (97988) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:42PM (#4894641)

    One year, right after the merger between UBS and SBC, we had to go to the post office to collect an item from the bank. It turned out to be our employee Christmas card... by registered mail... strange... then I opened it up: 30g of gold was in there! Two little bars from the previous two banks, and a 20g bar from the merged bank.

    The London employees were pissed off... they got really tacky watches, blue ones for the men, red ones for the ladies...

    Oddly right in the middle of the whole Nazi gold thing too... oh well... the Swiss are good folks but political correctness isn't always high on their list... and shown in both cases...

    • Wow. 30 grams of gold is almost one troy ounce (about 31 grams per troy ounce). A troy ounce of gold is about $330 US. That's quite an expensive, if not odd gift to give employees. I'm curious, did most people sell the gold, or keep it?
  • by CaptainPsyko (632409) <Kcausin@nOsPam.hamilton.edu> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:52PM (#4894708) Journal
    Is better than what this guy [trideja.com] is gonna get.
  • Voodoo (Score:3, Funny)

    by AnarchySoftware (2926) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @07:54PM (#4894722) Homepage Journal

    I don't know why you're complaining. Get some pins and go to work on the doll.

  • Hmmmm (Score:4, Informative)

    by SupahVee (146778) <superv AT mischievousgeeks DOT net> on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:17PM (#4894872) Journal
    I see many people complaining that they didnt get a bonus, or some that did, but it wasnt near what the C-people got, and yet a whole other group of wankers who think nobody deserves a bonus. The cimple soultion seems to be that if your company gives bonuses, that it be fair, if you busted your ass all year long, and your coworker didnt, you should rightly get a bigger bonus. This of course relies on someone making MORE than you to be honest. Fat chance, pal. The simpler solution seems to be the one that Whole Foods (the healthy food store) employs. Everyone in the company, from the CEO, down to the stokers, knows how much everyone else makes, tends to keep everyone honest and working hard. Not overworking, mind you, just working hard for the money they are earning. Certainly puts a creative form of peer pressure into play, doesnt it?
  • by gelfling (6534) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:18PM (#4894887) Homepage Journal
    We get our annual bonuses in May but here's the deal so far. We're graded on a 1-2-3 scale w/ 1 being th highest. Usually 10% get 1 while about 15-20% get 3 which is a subtle "Get another goddamn job message.

    This year we've told that there is basically no money, but instead of simply adjusting the payout per grading we're told that no one will get a 1, 60% will get a 2 and the remainder, 40% will get a 3 which this year carries no bonus at all. The pool for the 2's will be cut in half. Now if you were counting on a 1 you were probably expecting a 15%-20% payout (20-25% for same grade if you are a manager), which this year will be reduced to a 2 grading which itself will be cut in half to about 5% payout. And the rest of everyone else gets a "YOU SUCK" rating that goes in the HR record. Which is just fucking lovely if you want to transfer internally and your last evaluation was "YOU SUCK".

    They could avoid this by giving everyone the same rating they were supposed to get and simply tell everyone that there are basically no bonuses this year except for those with the Godlike powers of the glowing green sun of Krypton. Instead they've turned the workforce into a brutal Darwinian game where everyone trods on the skulls of their fallen enemies.

    God I love this business, give me a grail of human blood!!!
  • by Eric_Cartman_South_P (594330) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:19PM (#4894896)
    ...went to store...bough self iPod...happy with gift.

  • by mfago (514801) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:20PM (#4894911)
    I got as much toilet paper and office supplies as I could carry!

  • by theinfobox (188897) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @08:23PM (#4894926) Homepage Journal
    Ugh... I have been going downhill since 1999.
    1999: Bonus was 120% of my annual salary(yes, times were great)
    2000: Bonus was 75% of my annual salary(yes, times were still pretty good)
    2001: No bonus; I was laid off, but got 6 months severance (Not bad, considering...)
    2002: No bonus; I was laid off and got nothing at all. (This is the Grinch Christmas)

    I guess 2004 will have to be better than this.

    P.S. Need a Net. Admin.? Look at my resume: Resume for Patrick Anderson [the-andersons.com]
  • by misterplow (135845) on Sunday December 15, 2002 @09:23PM (#4895304)
    A knowledgeable marketing teacher I had in college uttered what is, to me, the most sensible advice for companies giving out bonuses.

    In essense, he said, "The worst thing you could ever as a company is to start giving out a Christmas bonus. Once you start giving them out, you can't stop without coming off as a total schmuck."

    He added that if a yearly/periodical bonus *must* be given, it should be [phychologically] tied to some other, less-prominent holiday like Thanksgiving (in the US) or some summer holiday, etc.

    Once people get used to getting a "gift from Santa" it is very easy to miss it and get all pissed because they are somehow being robbed of something they deserve.

  • by sewagemaster (466124) <sewagemaster@gm a i l . c om> on Monday December 16, 2002 @12:25AM (#4896410) Homepage
    "So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

    sex from my secretary.... and her BOBBLING head....
  • Lots of stuff! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Dixie_Flatline (5077) <vincent...jan...goh@@@gmail...com> on Monday December 16, 2002 @01:02AM (#4896575) Homepage
    I got a monetary bonus, a BioWare coffee mug, a NWN collector's edition, and personal thanks from Ray and Greg, the owners and CEOs (just like everyone else did.)

    Besides that, however, I have the satisfaction of working at an incredible company with brilliant people. I'd do it all without any of the stuff I got this year.

    Job satisfaction is the best bonus of all. If you get a bobble-head doll, and feel like you need more of a bonus, you don't have the job satisfaction that you deserve. Move on.

  • by swdunlop (103066) <.moc.liamg. .ta. .polnudws.> on Monday December 16, 2002 @04:58AM (#4897364) Homepage
    This past year, I swallowed my pride and joined a local ISP while I waited for my dream employer to come out of a hiring freeze. After about eight months with a really nice group of people but no real challenge or pay to match, the freeze ended and I switched companies, to the disappointment of the ISP.

    I was very sad to go, and I felt more than a little guilty about the fact. Last week, my wife and I received some very persistant invitations to my former employer's Christmas party; my wife went, since I was out of town, and received a prorated Christmas Bonus and a lot of general good will from the owner of the company and the staff.

    Usually when an employee leaves a company for a bigger position elsewhere, an undercurrent of nastiness follows: the company and its people resents the loss of the employee. This company, though, insists on keeping a very friendly relationship with me, including repeated open invitations to stop by and mooch coffee.

    The bonus was pretty meager, compared to what I remember from the .com days, but the fact that it was offered at all, to an ex-employee, was probably the nicest thing I've ever seen a company do.
  • Last year, this year (Score:5, Interesting)

    by ptomblin (1378) <ptomblin@xcski.com> on Monday December 16, 2002 @08:11AM (#4897847) Homepage Journal
    Last year my Christmas bonus was $11,000. I paid off my credit cards and bought a TiBook.

    This year, I'm a lowly contractor and if I'm lucky they'll renew my contract in January.

    Last year I was working for the spawn of Satan, and had been actively looking for something, anything to get me out of that hell hole for months.

    This year, I'm doing interesting work in a less stressful and less fucked-up environment.

    You can keep the $11,000.
  • by Chris Mattern (191822) on Monday December 16, 2002 @11:22AM (#4898713)
    > What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

    Nothing. But it's OK; I didn't get them anything either.

    Chris Mattern

This place just isn't big enough for all of us. We've got to find a way off this planet.

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