Catch up on stories from the past week (and beyond) at the Slashdot story archive

 


Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
×
News

Your Valentine's Day Plans for 2003? 239

Posted by Cliff from the for-the-romantics-out-there dept.
Nos. writes "Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching, and though some of you Slashdot readers will be spending the day alone, there must be some of you out there who won't. So, what are you doing for that someone special this Feb 14th? My fiance is not a geek, and so wouldn't appreciate a 'geeky Valentine's'. Instead, I'm thinking a nice quiet dinner in one of our favourite restaurants. However, I recently got the 'You don't do anything romantic anymore' speech, and quite honestly am out of ideas. Can slashdot help? Obviously slashdot isn't the best place to ask, but I'm sure others are in a similar situation."
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Your Valentine's Day Plans for 2003? More

Your Valentine's Day Plans for 2003?

Comments Filter:

  • Wrong holiday. (Score:3, Informative)

    by Cuthalion ( 65550 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @06:55AM (#5239272) Homepage
    As a discordian, I will be celebrating an important religious holiday instead of Valentine's day. Emperor Norton I [zpub.com] (patron saint of Emperor Norton I, and all things related)'s birthday is also on Feb 14.

  • Nothing wrong with /. IMO (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Graelin ( 309958 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @06:59AM (#5239287)
    More often than not a geek knows how to treat a lady better than a lot of guys. Or so it seems at least. Must be because the typical geek is not a "manly-man." Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. You'll also find that a lot of geeks like poetry and junk - expect that from the Apple folks. They're typically creative people. ;) Maybe one of them will write a love poem for you to give her.

    For me, my wife is not a geek but does play an awful lot of DAOC lately... She says she wants a keyboard without a "stupid windows key", I guess it must be a DAOC thing.

    Here's what you do - get her an appointment at one of those beauty spas on the 14th, in the evening. Make sure she'll be there for a while, maybe an hour or two. Ya know, the oil treatment, the massage, the whole nine yards. Then, when she gets home - you've got dinner waiting for her. Not any Taco Bell dude, make some spaghetti or something simple - yet not too simple. Make sure to get the red wine, if you can't cook you'd better get her drunk...

    Women love this stuff and it's very much worth it - the rest of the year she will always remember this day and you'll NEVER get the "You're not affectionate" speech again.

    If you didn't blow your wad on the oil treatment when splurge for diamonds. Doesn't have to be huge or expensive - just a little nugget of love that will always remind her of you (and the great Valentines day you gave her!)

    • Re:Nothing wrong with /. IMO (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Gordonjcp ( 186804 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @07:38AM (#5239377) Homepage
      Here's what you do - get her an appointment at one of those beauty spas on the 14th, in the evening.

      Look, you're a geek. You're meant to have an almost pathological interest in learning new things. Learn how to do all that stuff yourself. Decent massage oils are not cheap, but you can get reasonably-priced ones. You're not going to need gallons of them. You can get books out of the library on how to do it, and of course practicing is the fun bit.

      You're going to need:
      • Some wine - decent stuff, it's hard to go wrong with Ernest & Julio Gallo if you don't know what to get
      • Music - see below for some recommendations
      • Massage oil - something relaxing. Lavender is good, but she might fall asleep - less than ideal. Get something with maybe bergamot (orangey but not citrussy), ylang-ylang, and patchouli - make sure she likes the stuff you're getting though.
      • Scented candles - much the same as the massage oil, avoid sharp, spicy or citrussy scents - Rosemary is right out. Or not, it might work. Whatever you choose, *NEVER LEAVE THEM UNATTENDED* Also - get a couple of known-good lighters *and* a box of matches
      • Dim lights - not so dim you can't see what you're doing, and maybe the candles won't be enough. Remote controlled X10 stuff is good but make sure it works - nothing kills the mood more than geeking about in another room so you can get a nice fade on the lights. Clapper switches would probably suck too, for this (avoid sudden loud noises)
      • Warm towels - you're both going to be covered in oil. You should lay a warm bath towel along your girlfriend's back when you're done to absorb any excess, otherwise it will go all over your bed, couch, carpet or wherever.

      Once your girlfriend is there, feed her some good food (pasta is simple, and hard to get wrong), and have a glass or two of wine. Get some music on, and work down to slower, more relaxing tunes. How you transition from eating to massaging is down to you. Standing up and saying "Right, strip off!" is probably not a good idea.

      The important thing is that you both have fun. Don't be afraid to keep the book out, but try and keep oil off it if it's a library book. If you're not getting it, have your girlfriend massage you, to show you what she wants. Most importantly, keep at it - you *do* have all day, at least, if you want to keep your girlfriend. Oh, and I can't stress this enough - turn your phones, pagers, etc off. Not onto silent, not vibrate (you kinky freak), OFF.

      Tunes are important. Obviously, individual tastes are different, but there are some things that work well and some that won't. Here are some examples I've tried.

      Good:
      • Air - Moon Safari (practically the whole album)
      • Goldfrapp - Some tracks on Felt Mountain
      • Saint Etienne - various tracks
      • Zero Seven - most of Simple Things
      • Beethoven - Pastoral Symphony
      • Bjork
      • Massive Attack
      • Morcheeba


      Stuff that doesn't work so well:
      • Iron Maiden
      • Anything produced by Stock, Aitken and Waterman
      • Anything from Pop Idol or the like
      • The Sex Pistols
      • Enya - far to cheesy
      • Berlioz - La Symphonie Fantastique (way too loud and scary
      • Japanese noise rock - you might both like Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her, but it's all context, isn't it?


      OK, hope this helps someone. Have fun!

      • Re:Nothing wrong with /. IMO (Score:5, Insightful)

        by image ( 13487 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @09:08AM (#5239640) Homepage
        Hey, that's a great post and rather good advice.

        But that it exactly the opposite of what my girl would like. Funny, that.

        We are -- going out to a restaraunt on E5th that a buddy of mine runs. Very nice place, top rated wine list, and surprisingly cheap. We're into cheap and punk rock.

        Then headed off to see Ted Leo in Brooklyn. Ted's a good guy and his band absolutely rocks.

        After that, back to the E. Village to Manitobas, 7B, or Ace, to -- guess what? Shoot some pool, look at people, drink some beers, hang with friends.

        Then back home to put on some Mission Of Burma, the Rapture, the Clash, something like that.

        Um, I'll leave out the rest. You get the idea.

        So here's the answer -- know your girl. They don't all want the same thing. Mine's got a masters degree and an ivy league education and blows me away, but she'd rather rock on Valentines Day than get a massage. Course, she'd rather do this every night. Wow. I guess I really like her.

        Happy Valentines Day, baby. (Granted, one thing she'll never do is read slashdot...)

        • Re:Nothing wrong with /. IMO (Score:4, Insightful)

          by Gordonjcp ( 186804 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @10:22AM (#5240096) Homepage
          So here's the answer -- know your girl.

          Therein lies great wisdom. Yep. I wrote my girlfriend a shell script, rather than a poem. A shell script (which I've already given her) that reads the EXIF headers from her photos, thumbnails them, and keys over some info from the EXIF and a copyright message. Hey, she appreciated it more than gooey poetry.
      • Massive Attack and Morcheeba, but not Portishead? I don't understand. Oh, wait, maybe you were right to not include them. I guess girls don't want to be woo'd while listening to "Can't anybody see? We've got a war to fight..." or "Please could you stay awhile to share my grief, For it's such a lovely day, To have to always feel this way, And the time that I will suffer less, Is when I never have to wake."

        But my best suggestion for music is stuff that you know she likes - anything new would be more distracting than relaxing.
      • Or, if you just can't stand the saccharine schmaltzfest that is Valentine's Day, stay home and listen to your Smiths records. Add some Leonard Cohen and some Joy Division to the mix as needed. Face it: Valentine's Day is a crock of shite.
      • Just to add to the music thing:

        Sigur Ros is unbeatable. Their old stuff is in icelandic, and the new stuff is in a made up language. So words arent an issue. And they are smooth, and ambient, and generally rule. Definately worth a listen.
      • > You're going to need:

        A [GIRL|BOY]FRIEND

        lets add that at the top of the dependency .. ok?
      • "Remote controlled X10 stuff is good but make sure it works"

        Oh no, it took me ages to get X11 working, I don't want to do more!

      • If you could figure out how to synchronize the transition from Vollenweider to Vai as the "massage" progresses, I'm sure my husband would thank you :-D
      • (In addition to all of the above)

        Barry White or Marvin Gaye.

        'nuff said

        Dolemite
      • Air - Moon Safari (practically the whole album) Air - the Virgin Suicides Soundtrack (all but the last song) Does them in everytime. And also check out: Lovage - Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By (if she's edgier, but be careful, you'll know how far to push her)

    • Don't pay the DeBeers Romance Tax (Score:5, Informative)

      by acb ( 2797 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @10:22AM (#5240095) Homepage
      The diamond industry is controlled by a global monopoly (DeBeers, who make Microsoft look like boy scouts); they have been known to use violence and intimidation against independent producers/sellers, with machete-wielding militias cutting off the hands of those who don't comply. In southern Africa, the diamond industry exploits miners in atrocious conditions. Those precious stones you may be thinking of buying for your girlfriend/wife/partner fund bloodshed.

      The association of diamonds with romance is recent and wholly artificial. It was [theatlantic.com]
      engineered in the 20th century by DeBeers' marketing people. They did their job excpetionally well; in America (and to a lesser extent elsewhere in the West), many women are so conditioned to associate diamonds with romance that failing to pay the DeBeers Romance Tax can mean the end of a relationship.

      If you're a Linux user, you have said no to the Microsoft monopoly. Why not extend this noble principle to an even more pernicious and murderous multinational corporation? Say no to diamonds, and tell your partner why.
      • I have not seen a post this important in some time. DeBeers is doing everything they can to keep this information secret (or at lest under-publicized)! It is your moral obligation to mod up the parent of this post.
      • Okay here's where you've got it all wrong. And coming from a girl's point of view, I'd advise you listen. It's not so much the diamond that the girl wants, it's the DeBeers commercial! Think about it... two wonderfully in love people hanging about in shadows exquisitely dressed. That's what the girl wants... and since on the whole guys aren't more unique and tend to let commercials dictate what they do... diamonds epitomize the moment. So it's not really the fault of the diamond. If it's the bloodshed you're worried about, do some research. It's diamonds from the war-torn Congo that are funding the fighting. But you can get diamonds from other parts of the world. Some jewellers use these "peace" diamonds exclusively...but then... they are more expensive... Personally I don't want my guy to spend a fortune on me, I just want him to spend a lot of time on it. =) oh and as a side note, it DOES have a history: Wearing a diamond ring on the fourth finger of the left hand dates back to ancient Egypt, where it was believed that the vena amorous (the vein of love) ran from that finger directly to the heart.

  • Restaurant (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Captain Large Face ( 559804 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @07:00AM (#5239288) Homepage

    Why don't you cook the meal yourself?

    Obviously, cooking a decent dinner takes a lot more time and effort, but isn't that an important part of romance? There are plenty of recipes available over the Internet, and you still have plenty of time to get the ingredients, so you have no excuse! If you live with your SO, get the afternoon off and start preparing and cooking then, so it's ready for just after she gets in.

    Myself, I shall be spending SVD with friends, as my girlfriend will be on the other side of the world. Bit of a drag really.

    • Good plan -- restaurants may be booked (Score:4, Informative)

      by RhetoricalQuestion ( 213393 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @11:01AM (#5240462) Homepage

      Depending on the restaurant and where you live, it may already be booked up for Valentine's day. If you go restaurant, book now.

      That said, cooking her a nice meal is a great idea. Generally, putting your time and effort into doing something scores more points than plunking down some cash.

      Some tips if you don't do dinner parties:

      • Set the table, and take some time to make it look nice. A tablecloth, napkins (cloth if you've got 'em), some candles a nice candle holder, some flowers (or scatter some flower petals over the table, it saves room and doesn't require a vase) -- it doens't have to be Martha Stewart, but make an effort. You can do this ahead of time. (If you're broke, the dollar store is your friend for this one.)
      • Clean up as you go. Nothing is less romantic than a big pile of dirty dishes.
      • Except maybe dirty socks and dust bunnies. Clean the house ahead of time too. Make the bed.
      • Read recipe instructions carefully, and pre-plan your cooking so that everything is ready at the same time. Like, if the main meal needs to bake for an hour, and dinner is a 6, the whole thing needs to be put together by 5. And while it's in the oven, you have an hour to clean up and get on to the next thing. And remember that you only have 2 hands -- you can't stir 3 things contantly at once while chopping veggies. (Think scheduling algorithms. You are the CPU.)
      • Better yet, find recipes that can be made (or mostly made) in advance. You don't want to be frantically racing around the kitchen while your girlfriend sits alone waiting for you. Less time in the kitchen for you means more time with her.
      • Don't cook anything heavy. Sure, both of you may love a big meal, but feeling bloated and full is not conducive to romance.
      • Consider her favourite foods when choosing a recipes. Sounds obvious, but keep that in mind.
      • That said, plan a meal that makes some sense. A really spicy dish will overpower a delicate one. This isn't hard to do if stick to a theme (Italian, French, Mexican) and keep things simple.
      • If you're trying a new recipe, and/or you're not an experienced cook, make it ahead of time. Make sure it tastes fine, cooks for the time you expect it to, that you have all the cooking utensils required, etc. Recipes usually need to be adjusted to your kitchen.
      • For the adventerous: Pay attention to how you serve and plate the food. You don't need to go overboard, but a little parsley never hurts. Put dinner rolls in a basket or a bowl instead of tossing the plastic bag on the table. Don't spread pots all over the table if you can help it.
      Hope that helps. It may seem silly, but taking some time to make things look nice (as well as taste good) is part of what restaurants do. Though it may sound like a lot, there really isn't much to it -- you don't need to go overboard, but just take a moment to think about how everything looks. If this isn't something you normally do, you'll really wow her by making the effort.
      • Sushi. It's easy to make, it keeps overnight in the fridge, and you can eat as much or as little as you want. Perfect really. Do something light, like California Rolls, with maybe some roasted peppers and smoked salmon. £5-worth of rice, sushi-nori (seaweed to wrap it in) and assorted other veggies makes about 70 Cali Rolls - you will need about 20.
    • > Why don't you cook the meal yourself?
      And here's a chm file [gdargaud.net] (in french, Windows only, 6Mb) with 10000 recipes... Now you only need to choose the right one(s).
  • Try cooking a meal yourself, nothing says "I love you" like a home-cooked meal. I know my wife would much rather have a lasagne cooked by me just the way she likes it than go out to a restaurant.

    Then afterwards, we might go and run Siege on Asylum MUD [asylum-mud.org] together.
  • It's been a while since I've had a chance to play the romantic, but here goes.

    My favorite V-Day was one when I lived in an appartment with a roommate. To get away for the night, I got us a hotel room. If you have a place to yourself, you can do this there. Get a bucket, and fill it with ice. Add one bottle of wine. Make sure you get a type she likes. If you're not sure what she likes, try those fruity wines like Arbor Mist, they're generally liked, and fairly cheap. Then, go and get a dozen roses. Split the roses in half, and give half to her as soon as you see her that day. With the other half, make a trail that leads from the door to the bed. Put the wine, and two wine glasses, next to the bed. Lining the path with candles. Also, next to the bed, get a bottle/tube of massage oil, the kind actually intended to rub into someone's back (Google turned up this [annalotan.com] as an example) and start the evening off with a long backrub for her. Long as in hours (you can type for hours, your hands are strong, right?). From there, you can end the evening as you see fit. ;^)
    • P.S. If you're getting a good wine, don't forget the corkscrew. If you've got a Geek Tool [thinkgeek.com], then you're already set.

      (Yes, that was the mistake I made that day. The next year, she gave me the above linked Geek Tool as a birthday present.)

      Good Luck!
      • Ack, what a crappy corkscrew. Get a real corkscrew. If you don't have corkscrew experience, I'd recommend a Screwpull. It's got a longer thread, teflon coated, and removing the cork is as easy as twisting the handle on top. Trust me, it's much, much easier to use than the short screws without assist on pocket knives.

        • Corkscrews (Score:3, Interesting)

          by Andy Dodd ( 701 )
          Second that suggestion.

          GET A REAL CORKSCREW. Pocketknife/multi-tool corkscrews don't cut it. At the VERY least get a proper "winged" wine corkscrew, they're only a few dollars.

          Brookstone has some REALLY nice corkpullers. Push a lever down and it automatically twists the screw in, pull it back up and it pulls the cork out. Insanely easy, and it's a flashy way to open a bottle of wine too. I'm sure you struggling to get the cork out of your bottle of wine with a crappy pocketknife will kill the mood. Plus I don't know how many times substandard corkscrews have resulted in small chunks of cork ending up in the wine for me... (I have one that is not a Brookstone puller, but is 99% identical to the ones they sell. It is GREAT.)
          • Yes, we have a Leverpull. The patent expired on them recently and now everyone is marketing one. The Rabbit was the first competitor, but now there are a lot of non-branded ones at varying price points.

            It makes opening a bottle of wine a 5 second endeavor. If you open up enough wine (we open 4-6 bottles a week) it's worth it. If you rarely open wine, go for a different one.
        • The OXO Goodgrips corkpull [oxo.com] (not their corkscrew) is really nice. It is idiot-proof and it will open bottles that have wider necks, like some of the sparkly wines.
    • I hope you appreciate it for the kitsch value :)
  • Where I have to spend money I dont have just to be able to sleep in a bed instead of on the couch.

    Bleh...

  • No thanks! (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 06, 2003 @08:06AM (#5239456)
    Hi,

    Dear /. community members. Please don't tell me your valentine's day plans. I really don't need to know. More importantly, you don't need to tell me. Just don't do it. The entire frigging world doesn't need to feel all 'together' by telling each other anonymous details about Valentine's day. If you're really that addicted, just get a blog and be done with it. In fact, for future reference these are some other things well worth not sharing with every random stranger:

    1. Your approach to long term financial management
    2. What you're going to do when you mom comes to stay next month.
    3. Your preferred brand of dishwasher, and why.
    4. How you deal with awkward family moments, like funerals of uncles you never really knew that well to begin with.
    5. How you brush your teeth.
    6. Poetry you write.
    7. Anything about Ayn Rand.
    8. Your opinion, based on ample experience, on how to deal with failed relationships.
    9. How much high school sucked for you personally.
    10. Anything about Anne Rice.

    Good, I'm glad that's cleared up. Can we go back to interesting stuff now?

    • Re:No thanks! (Score:4, Funny)

      by Tackhead ( 54550 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @04:31PM (#5244327)
      > 1. Your approach to long term financial management
      > 2. What you're going to do when you mom comes to stay next month.
      > 3. Your preferred brand of dishwasher, and why.
      > 4. How you deal with awkward family moments, like funerals of uncles you never really knew that well to begin with.
      > 5. How you brush your teeth.
      > 6. Poetry you write.
      >7. Anything about Ayn Rand.
      > 8. Your opinion, based on ample experience, on how to deal with failed relationships.
      > 9. How much high school sucked for you personally.
      > 10. Anything about Anne Rice.

      Well, for starters, I don't mind Great Big Blowing Void Day that much. Because I don't want kids, I don't need a girlfriend, and that makes GBBVD much cheaper. Not having kids saves me thousands a year in expenses, plus tens of thousands of year in college savings requirements. If I had a wife and kids, I wouldn't be able to retire by 40.

      My Mom's dead, you insensitive clod! All because my uncle fucked up when repairing her Whirlpool. It's Maytag all the way for me. Thankfully, I got the uncle back a few weeks ago - hey, Uncle, bet you don't know why Aunt Peg was walkin' funny through the whole famn damily reunion!

      Avoid spin brushes,
      They don't get pubes out at all,
      Aunt Peg told me so

      Anyways, I don't need or want a girlfriend for GBBVD, but if I had one, I'd be sure to make sure she's the kind of gal who meets the criteria of my values system and who liked it rough. Hey, it's all about Love and Selfishness [aynrand.org].

      And what is it with women, anyways? I emailed that essay to my last girlfriend and she never spoke to me again. Then, after dissing me about Rand, she went out with some goddamn architecture student who banged her like he was on the Gong show. Shows you what she knew. Last I heard, she dumped him for a vampire fetishist who enjoyed the Sleeping Beauty series.

      God, high school sucked.

  • Give her an orgasm, that usually works...
    • > Give her an orgasm, that usually works...

      OK, I gave your girlfriend the orgasm. Now can I get back to the Q3A fragfest I had planned?

  • No plans at all! (Score:3, Insightful)

    by xt ( 225814 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @08:51AM (#5239580)
    For this day, at least.

    I try to make my girlfriend feel nice whenever I can see her. It doesn't take much; a glance, a nice thing to say about something she bought, make her laugh...

    These are things she lives all year long and make our relationship strong. If you have a fiance and you are waiting for one day to make up for the rest of the year, you are doing it all wrong.

    Think of you relationship with your significant other as one of your projects; if you don't assign time and thought to it, it will fail.

  • I am not trolling when I say this, but (Score:3, Insightful)

    by scumdamn ( 82357 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @09:33AM (#5239789)
    Do some fairly normal things like you usually would, if you have kids, make sure they're at a babysitters, give her the present of a vibrator, use said present on her in a very sensual way, go down down down and stay there for a while, and make her actually beg you to put her out of her misery with your "big unit" or whatever.
    When you actually do give it to her, make sure you last at LEAST 15 minutes. And no athletic shit either. Slow and gentle. Act loving!
    No matter if you took her to Arby's previously, that will have been a special Valentine's day.
  • I quite honestly plan to spend Valintines day at a LAN Party. And as I'm sure many of you are curious, I do have a girlfriend. Yup, I'm that special.
    I of course will be dedicating some other day, the following weekend, to her--but she loves me enough to know that I enjoy lanning.
    If this was any average lan I would pass it up for her in a moments notice. But this one is an annual event for me.

    (plug)
    http://www.nwgo.org/register/

    4th Annual Presidents day Meltdown.
    Hosted in Wenatchee, Washington.
    February 14th - 16th
    (/plug)
    • Just out of curiousity, did you invite her to the lan party?

      Like many others here, my honey and I try to make every day valentine's day. For example, to show me how special I am to him, he helps me haul my computer to the party, or helps me get the house ready when I'm the hostess...

  • At least far enough to be an "adventurous" trip. Given the month, it would be a nice thing to find a room at an inn somewhere in ski country - preferably with a fireplace and hot tub or jacuzzi. Plan a couple of nice dinners ahead of time for when you're there.

    Don't tell her beforehand - just plan it out, and tell her Friday afternoon to pack a bag. The element of surprise is always nice.

    And don't bring your geek toys. If you must have your cell, leave it in the car and just check your voicemail if you can't resist the urge. Just wait until she's in a store shopping or something.

    For Boston-area geeks, upstate New Hampshire and the Stowe area in Vermont have ample places that meet the description I just gave above.

  • Emailed to me not to long ago. (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    >From power@powerandfury.net Mon Feb 03 16:53:47 2003
    Received: from galaxy.genext.net ([66.45.212.50]) by mail.ncidata.com
    with ESMTP (IOA-IPAD 3.02) id 5819600 for ; Mon, 03 Feb 2003 16:53:47 -0800
    Received: from power (ip-66-45-209-11.nw-tel.com [66.45.209.11])
    by galaxy.genext.net (8.10.2/8.10.2) with ESMTP id h140fNu20906;
    Mon, 3 Feb 2003 16:41:23 -0800
    Reply-To:
    From: "James \"Power\" Bowen"
    To:
    Subject: Men's valentines
    Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2003 16:53:17 -0800
    Organization: NWGO
    Message-ID:
    MIME-Version: 1.0
    Content-Type: text/plain;
    charset="us-ascii"
    X-Priority: 3 (Normal)
    X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
    X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook, Build 10.0.4510
    Importance: Normal
    X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1106

    Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your
    wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and
    any other baubles that women find romantic.

    Every Valentines Day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift
    that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really love them more than
    anything. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret. Guys really don't
    enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it
    right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat
    and consideration. Another secret guys feel left out. That's right, left
    out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation
    for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too
    embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been created.
    March 20th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and
    self-explanatory.

    This holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your
    man just how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on
    the town. The name of the holiday explains it all. Just a steak and a
    blowjob. That's it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentines Day and Steak and
    Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT
    much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a
    perpetual love machine. The word is already beginning to spread, but as with
    any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling.

  • Funny... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by moonboy ( 2512 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @09:49AM (#5239896)


    "I recently got the 'You don't do anything romantic anymore' speech, and quite honestly am out of ideas."

    Funny how this "holiday" falls (more often than not) on the guy. What about the woman being the romantic one and coming up with that "something special".

    Eh, fuckit, I'm just bitter. Just out of a slightly-longer-than-a-year relationship and sick this 'You don't do anything romantic anymore' shit. Bleh.

    • Women don't get drafted, either.

      Despite having the vote.

      Lovely world, isn't it...you don't hear feminists complaining about the benefits of being female, just the drawbacks.

      • In the USA, men don't get drafted either. (Ever hear of Volunteer Army?) In Israel, women are drafted.

        What the hell are you talking about?
        • In the USA, men don't get drafted either.

          If you haven't filled out your draft card (which makes you eligible for being drafted), and you're 18 or over, and a male citizen of the United States, you're in violation of federal law.

          And perhaps Israel does this, but I'm talking about the United States, not Israel.

    • Re:Funny... (Score:2, Insightful)

      by schmink182 ( 540768 )
      Funny how this "holiday" falls (more often than not) on the guy.

      Odd, it's my experience that it falls most often on the single folk, men and women alike.

      My suggestion, everyone should go out and let all your single friends know how much you care for them. It really can make an otherwise miserable day such as Valentine's much, much better.

  • Ask her? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Stephen ( 20676 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @09:51AM (#5239915) Homepage
    I recently got the 'You don't do anything romantic anymore' speech.
    Have you actually asked her what special romantic thing she'd like? I don't think a thing has to be a surprise to be romantic. In fact, even bothering to ask her what she'd like to do on Valentine's Day is somewhat romantic in itself.

    Oh, and maybe it's too obvious to need pointing out, but romance doesn't have to be confined to one day a year. What happens the rest of the year makes more of an impact.

  • Check this [ucomics.com] out.

    It echos my thought exactly.

  • Carnivorous romance (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Phaid ( 938 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @10:10AM (#5240017) Homepage
    Back when we were dating and then engaged, living in New Orleans, my wife and I would always go out to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's Day, like the amazingly popular Mona Lisa [micronpcweb.com]. Now that we live in the Northeast, we prefer to avoid the restaurant rush -- especially since Valentine's Day is on a Friday this year -- so we're staying home and having a meat fondue.

    There's hardly a more fun and social meal than a fondue. The basic concept of a meat fondue is quite simple -- you cut a couple of pounds of good beef into approximately 1" cubes, skewer them on long fondue forks, and dunk them in a pot of boiling oil. We build a big fire, light candles, and have the fondue accompanied by a variety of sauces, French bread, good cheese, and of course a bottle of two of good red wine. Yes, it's amazingly decadent and terribly unhealthy, but it's a lot of fun, requires minimal preparation, and, because you're always pausing to skewer a new chunk of meat to dip in the oil, the meal is naturally unhurried and gives plenty of time for enjoyable conversation.

  • Best Present (Score:3, Informative)

    by jcayer ( 206087 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @10:19AM (#5240071)
    I did this for my wife a couple years ago. Ask her what the best present I ever gave her was, this is it. Ask her what present I got her when I did this, she has no idea.

    I started about 2 weeks before Valentine's Day. I created a document and thought of one/two liners about my wife. Things I like, things I love, fond memories, etc. After 2 weeks, I ended up with like 35 things. I went to Hallmark and bought a couple packages of little kid valentine's cards.

    I printed out the sheet, cut it up and put one in each card. Valentine's morning, I was out the door before she got up and she woke up to 35 cards throughout the house.

    Just a warning, if you do this and figure out a way to top it, let me know.
  • We are going to see Les Miserables in NYC. The play is about to end its run, and we wanted to make sure we got to see it before it was over.

    Live action entertainment is a nice change of pace from the normal dinner-and-a-movie type thing.

  • do something non-geeky (Score:3, Insightful)

    by kootch ( 81702 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @10:39AM (#5240260) Homepage
    Personally, going to a french restaurant we really like, then have reserved a 1 hr private dance lesson for us for ballroom dancing :)

    Figured it was kind of original, plus we'll have fun, it won't be "one of those default v-day gifts", and maybe we'll (me specifically) will learn enough to dance more often at formal events

  • No Valentines Day (Score:2, Interesting)

    by spike2131 ( 468840 )
    My wife and I have banned Valentines Day from the relationship. Since it's a faux holiday anyway - brought to you by Hallmark - we decided that we would be better off expressing our love for each other on every other day of the year, forgoing the pricy sentimental pap that comes around every February 14.

    And yes, I am blessed to be with a woman who shares my point of view on that issue. In fact, it was her idea.
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • Summary ... (Score:3, Funny)

    by UnknownSoldier ( 67820 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @10:54AM (#5240396)
    5% of /. readers are getting laid... ... the other 95% wish they were!

  • my girlfriend, you insensitive clod.

  • Theatre Tickets (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Royster ( 16042 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @11:00AM (#5240449) Homepage
    I have tickets for two to a[n off-Broadway] show in NYC. Dinner, show, greeting card, a small token of my esteem (Buffy DVDs!) and I'll get off for about $150.
  • This year, my wife is having surgery on Valentines Day, so nothing special this year. Last year however, we went to dinner at a really nice restraunt in downtown LA, then to the LA Philharmonic. It wasn't too expensive (Except for the dinner! $12 for a f'ing dinner salad or cup of soup!), and it was pretty romantic.
  • My girlfriend lives 8 hours away. I will be walking around on valenties day ripping down anything with hearts, plucking the petals off of flowers, and making faces at every couple I see.
    • Only 8 hours?

      I see no reason why you couldn't be at her door by midnight on Valentine's day. With that kind of distance between you, just getting there is enough to get you laid.

      • I could leave work and get there at midnight. I could not however, get back to work by 7:30 the next morning. I could probably get about halfway before I fell asleep and wound up in a ditch alongside I-77.

        And there would be no "getting laid" involved anyways. We go straight for the _really_ good stuff. Godiva chocolate cheesecake ice cream. I'm not kidding. (:
        • I could leave work and get there at midnight. I could not however, get back to work by 7:30 the next morning. I could probably get about halfway before I fell asleep and wound up in a ditch alongside I-77.

          Take the 15th off. What's more important to you: A girl you care for enough to suffer the pains of a long distance relationship, or a job that makes you work Saturdays? You have 8 days to find someone to cover your shift. Get to work, man!

          And there would be no "getting laid" involved anyways. We go straight for the _really_ good stuff. Godiva chocolate cheesecake ice cream. I'm not kidding. (:

          If you think any food, and I don't care what it is or who makes it, is better than sex, you're doing it wrong. Plain and simple.

          Don't get me wron, if you've decided to have a non-sexual relationship I totally respect that. I've even done it myself. But if you honestly believe that ice cream is better than sex, I pity you, and strongly suggest you flip through a book on Tantra some time. Even a magazine article or a web page would help. Sex is the ultimate intimacy, and as close to the divinity as you will ever get. Nothing should be better than that.

  • Geek Girl's Advice! (Score:4, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 06, 2003 @12:36PM (#5241527)
    Sorry I'm posting as an AC, but I'm having problems with my account.

    What do girls want on Valentine's Day? Just something that a) shows that you care and b) shows that you know her.

    My (also geek) boyfriend likes to get me stuffed animals (cute things like Chococat and Hello Kitty and Nyago) and flowers. I love that! He also made me a KDE desktop theme that was really cute.

    But, seriously, geek girl or not, you can NEVER go wrong with flowers. Pink rosebuds are nice, and less expensive then long-stemmed roses.

    Dinner and flowers, plus a little something (wrapped up?) is failsafe, and really easy to customize.

    If your girl wants romantic, take her to a place where she can really dress up; girls like to dress up. Or order in gourmet (gourmet grocery stores will some times do that) or reserve a night at a nice hotel.

    Hotels are good options (if you don't mind being late for work the next day) because, as long as it's a nice one, you get a beautiful ambiance, room service, fine dining, and a chance to surprise her with something new and romantic. Add fresh flowers and a (sexy?) gift, and you're set!

    Now maybe you guys can help me- WHAT DO I GET MY GEEK BOYFRIEND???
    • But, seriously, geek girl or not, you can NEVER go wrong with flowers.

      I don't know about that. When my husband got me a dozen roses for our anniversary they were nice, but I couldn't help thinking that $60+ could have been spent on something else that would have lasted longer than a few days!

  • V-Day Again? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Servo5678 ( 468237 ) on Thursday February 06, 2003 @12:38PM (#5241538)
    Valentine's Day? Aw crap, I forgot to get a girlfriend again!
  • ...tell her you won't wear your pocket protector anymore....or wear any clothing with Tux on it.... ;-)

  • I've got my plans.. nice dinner at a place we can dress nice, and its paid for buy someone else(the best!) But, I'd like to find a nice gift...

    She got a tri-gold necklace for christmas and that went over great.. but i'd like to find a pendant to go with.. something just as unique... and well, geeky(she does product design and manufacturing.. )...

    I saw some of the Titanium Jewelry on /. a while back, anyone have any more info on that kinda thing(where to get, what's cool, wats not, etc)?
  • ... I get to spend Valentine's day having epidural cortizone (sp?) injections into the L5 and L6 vertebrae. Nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" like a 12 guage needle through your back...

  • It's over (Score:3, Informative)

    by gmhowell ( 26755 ) <gmhowell@gmail.com> on Thursday February 06, 2003 @02:10PM (#5242500) Homepage Journal
    She said 'you don't do anything romantic anymore'? Guess what, it's over. Pack your bags, next train leaves for splitsville. If she needs to be constantly entertained, she's already looking past you.

    What you need is a woman like my wife. She hates valentine's day. With a passion. I never cared one way or another. If anything, on February 14th, we celebrate the one week anniversary of my birthday. She doesn't need a special day, as I prefer to surprise her with little things throughout the year. I'm grocery shopping, and I see a type of candy she might like, so I buy it. She's happy; I was thinking about her when I wasn't with her.

    Sure, she liked the 'big gun' romantic things (like the eight hour drive I made after we had been broken up to beg her to come back. Before we were married, BTW) but she's mature enough to understand it's the little things that count.

    • As a geekess, I want to add to this thread. We geekess-es do not necessarily have the world's top social skills any more than the guys we love do.

      My husband gave me a wonderful present a couple of Christmases ago, though it looks funny in with your long list of X-rated suggestions. It was one of those "Fantazein" clocks you can program with messages. Anyway, he programmed it to say "Don't worry be happy", and later with other things he thought would amuse me, such as "Don't mess with Besty" (his favorite misspelling of my name.) I thought it was very romantic, and I still smile every time I see it, two years after he bought it.


  • with old_lady

    .give.flowers
    .take.dinner
    .take.movie
    .attempt.pork

    end with
    • with old_lady
      .give.flowers
      .take.dinner
      .take.movie
      .attempt.pork
      end with
      Damn, it would be just my luck that the code won't compile.... Even with the lifetime license agreement and constant service packs, these API's just don't work in a predictable mannor.
  • As a geek, I will be spending Valentine's Day alone with my boxen.

    I'll spend the day with my Windows box, not my linux box, as Windows goes down so many more times in a day.

  • Trying not to weep openly in public (Score:3, Funny)

    by GooseKirk ( 60689 ) <goosekirk AT hotmail DOT com> on Thursday February 06, 2003 @04:36PM (#5244407) Homepage
    I have lots of fun things in mind for Valentine's Day!

    - Trying not to weep openly in public

    - Trying not to think about all the great sex my ex-girlfriends must be having right about now

    - Stockpiling cheap hooch, 'cause once you get started, it can be tough to find the booze store when you need more

    - Finding a comfortable, out-of-the-way gutter

    - Maybe looking into that heroin addiction idea I've been kicking around

    That's all I've got planned so far... anyone else have ideas?

  • Coincidence??? (Score:2, Funny)

    by grondu ( 239962 )
    Valentine's Day

    Venereal Disease

    VD. Coincidence?
  • i've never been into these special days to be romantic ... i like to buy my wife flowers at random times throughout the year, so she never really 'expects' them on a given day ... the moment she starts expecting something to be done like that, i'm going to stop doing it, because i think that just takes everything out of it ... i don't have any specific plans yet this year, but last year i carved a CD into a heart [slashdot.org], and that went over really well ... she's a geek, but not a computer geek by any stretch (geek of geology, actually ... i never thought they existed, but trust me, they *do*) ... she's still got that disc, too ... sorry i don't have any specific advice, but really, do something out of the ordinary on this day, because being romantic (random dinners, candies, flowers, etc) should be a normal thing
  • I read somewhere, that in order to balance things out again, the 20th of March is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day".

  • In the Netherlands.. (Score:3, Interesting)

    by zmooc ( 33175 ) <zmooc@[ ]oc.net ['zmo' in gap]> on Friday February 07, 2003 @04:47PM (#5253224) Homepage
    Here in the Netherlands a lot of people totally ignore valentines day. It was introduced here by shops and such and now everybody that can get a bit of money of it (TV, *shops, magazins, blah) acts like half our country does something to celebrate valentines day while we don't:) It's a bit the same with christmas - until TV was invented nobody had thought of the possibility of putting presents under a tree in the living room (we did have the tree though). Instead we put presents under the chimney with Sinterklaas (5 december) but since everybody got a TV and TV got controlled by money more and more people don't celebrate Sinterklaas anymore and have all started to put presents under a tree to celebrate a religious holiday from a religion nobody even remotely believes in anymore. Though many people think "Valentines day? One big commercial" and totally ignore it. The same for christmaspresents.
  • This wasn't a Valentine's Day thingie, but a First Anniversary thing. I suspect it'll work for Valentine's Day too :)

    My partner, Vikki, loves lobster. Can't get enough of it, in fact. So when I saw a 2-pound cold-water lobster tail, frozen, at the store, I bought it. Thawed, broiled it myself, basting it every three minutes with clarified butter and fresh-squeezed lemon juice, then served it to her on a very large plate, with a small bowl of peas (she likes canned peas. Go figure).

    She ate until she could hold no more, and the next day she sliced up the leftover lobster and made a lobster sandwich. She still talks about this, fourteen years later.

    Yeah, rocks are nice, but something truely memorable in the kitchen can be even nicer. Expensive as this was, it sure was cheaper than a decent diamond ring ... and, barring Alzheimer's, it's something that she'll never lose :)

    Another idea, for later on, is to use some Moritz's "Ice Cubes" in the bedroom. They are very tasty, and melt just like tanning butter *GRIN* I know that I ruined one grrlfriend for life when I smeared some on her backside, then kissed and licked it off, telling her that she'll never again be able to tell somebody to "Kiss my *ss!" without thinking of me *WEG*

Slashdot Top Deals

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. -- Albert Einstein

Close