Weird Presents Anyone?

g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"

When I was a kid...

[Anonymous Coward]

I just got a spanking

Re:From the looks of it...

[bsharitt]

Ah, so he's a Unix administrator.

We got out of debt

[anthonyclark]

Not to sound smug here but my Wife and I got out of debt.

Minimal presents to other people, no big dinner or tree and no huge tech presents for either of us. Instead we sneaked past the finish line in our "Debt Free in 2003" goal.

This Christmas is bare by many western standards, but now we can start saving for a deposit for a house. (Yeah, more debt there but what can one do about that?).

It's because...

[weston]

I have a theory about this. Geeks in general are interested in things that look impenetrable to others. You want an external hard drive for christmas, or music production software? Besides the fact that those things are somewhat expensive, the details the non-geek would have to become familiar with the get the gift right (heck, to figure out where to purchase such things) are a daunting barrier. So they drop back and punt on the gifts they do understand, or things they see you as needing (for example, maybe they see you wear white socks all the time)....

My own family works pretty much this way, especially my parents, who'd rather buy another set of underwear for me than subject themselves to the fear and confusion they associate with shopping online. But on the other hand, every once in a while they get things exactly right -- like, buying me the LOTR trilogy two years ago... I wouldn't have even asked for it because I hadn't read it since high school and wasn't too into it then, but once I picked it up again I was hooked. And then there's my siblings, who actually have a great sense of style and when they buy me clothes it's great. So this isn't a "poor me" rant. :) It's just an observation. I'll probably never get great geek gifts, and I don't think most geeks will.

But is it really debt?

[Inoshiro]

If the worth of the house is more than the cost of the mortage, it's not really a debt. You could easily turn around and sell the house, pay off the mortgage, and have some money to boot.

Rent is debt, it's a continuing eternal debt. Owning a house is owning something that's worth something, even if you have to pay a very large amount of money for it.

Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!!

[|>>?]

Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".

Instead of seeing this as a negative experience, your mother knows that you are into computers and she is attempting to communicate with you that she relates to you - by acknowledging this. She likely knows nothing about computers, but she wants to try to connect to her son.

In return you should not be bitter, but give your mom a big hug, that's all she's really asking for...

Re:Blow-up doll

[Dogtanian]

I would ask somebody to inflate your doll with helium. Then I would release the beast in some dignified public place with very high celing - like bank or opera house

They'll get someone to shoot it down sooner rather than later. Of course, what you could do is to coat it with moderately-fast-drying glue (on both sides just to be sure), let it float up there, and *then* let them shoot it.

Sure, it'll deflate- but it won't come down :-) Merry Christmas!

Re:It's because...

[irc.goatse.cx troll]

"Besides the fact that those things are somewhat expensive, the details the non-geek would have to become familiar with the get the gift right (heck, to figure out where to purchase such things) are a daunting barrier. "

Thats why amazon wishlists are a great idea, although having to shop at amazon limits it. It would be really nice if someone would setup a wishlist system where you could add price, description, and a link to buy. Maybe even hack this on to froogle (which already indexes all items from online shopping stores)

Re:FP

[hdparm]

Guy who submited this got toothpaste, tic-tacs and deo-spray.

He finds that choice wierd but perhaps his friends are sending a message?

cans of chicken stock

[mszilagyi]

Someone gave me 2 cans of chicken stock... I think that counts as a weird gift.

Re:what I did

[Mannerism]

Maybe the kid who got the small present will share the five bucks with his brother and teach you something, sensei.

Re:Whiskey Flavored Condoms.

[Mr Smidge]

But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!

Well this is just a long shot, but how about having safe sex?

Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!!

[weave]

Hell yeah. My mother died when I was young. I remember once she bought us a badminton set for the family to play together. I thought it was gay. We never did use it and I never knew what happened to it. Sometime after she died, I found it stashed away in the corner in the attic and imagined her being sad putting it up there because none of her kids could find the time to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon playing badminton together in the back yard.

Needless to say, I'd do anything to get a chance to play badminton with her now. For all of you with mothers, even if they drive you nuts, I envy you greatly. Now go do something that will make her happy and show her you still love her.

Re:This is not funny

[Anonymous Coward]

Obvious Message:
Go FUCK Yourself!

Re:But is it really debt?

[rjamestaylor]

Very true. People don't understand NET WEALTH. One of those people is my wife who frets that we don't save anything (except empty computer boxes, but that's a different story) month to month. Every once-in-a-while (usually after being awakened at 2 AM by a woman caught up in anxiety) I fire up Quicken and show her our balance sheet. Now, while we do owe $330,000 on our house its value appraises, conservatively, at 500,000. That's thanks to the housing market in Southern California. She thinks $330,000 debt. Our balance sheet says over $170,000 net worth.

Of course, that's on paper and the housing market could crash (but a "crash" is a drop from the latest high appraisal, so I think even then we'd be safe) and wipe us out, or communist insurgents could take power and outlaw private ownership of property nullifying our investment (but I doubt Howard Dean has a real chance in 2004 -- just kidding). Regardless, real estate has been the best financial investment I've ever made.

In fact, one friend bought a 4-plex unit as a commercial real estate investment last year for about 400,000. She just received an offer for over 700,000 on the units -- after expenses she'd clear $300,000 (but before taxes).

Of course, past performance is not a guarantee of future results; investing is risky -- you could loose all your principal; contact your taz advisor before making any investment decisions. IANALBIRGl (yadda yadda yadda, But I Read Groklaw).

Re:My Special Gift

[Lord_Dweomer]

"My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. "

Wow, your daughter is a genius. She filled in the missing ???.

1.Steal prized possession of gift recipient.
2.Give stolen prized possession back to gift recipient during Holiday.
3.Don't pay for a gift.
4.PROFIT!!!!

Re:My Special Gift

[Symb]

Very cute. She knew the gift was your pleasure in her ;)

Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!!

[Wolfrider]

--Call up the family and host a party. Set up the badminton kit and tell them you'd like to play a few rounds w/ the family to honor her memory.

--Badminton can be really fun with the right attitude, and it's easier than tennis.

Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!!

[aardwolf204]

I know how you feel. This has been the third Christmas I've had without my mom, and my second without my dad, and I'm only 20 years old.

For all you geeks out there taking your parents for granted, quit it. Its one thing to have processes without parents on your *nix box but completely different without real parents.

My mother left me with one thing in this life, the knowledge of ballroom dancing (she's a pro dance instructor, and no matter how queer it may sound, dude it gets chicks, no lie. The ability to put on some old music she used to play around the house and dance around the apartment is a depressing blessing all in one. I feel weave's pain, I've been there. I would do anything for one last dance with my mom but instead I'm left with an empty apartment i can just afford, a cat, and a girlfriend I can teach all the dance steps I want.

some days i feel like there isnt a light at the end of the tunnel, some days i try to emmerse myself with techie shit to keep from reality, but this christmas I've been able to face facts and though the family I once had is gone I'm happy knowing that shes in those steps.

ps; my dad kicked ass too.

Re:My Grandma got

[burns210]

and the odd thing is, there are so-called "christians, who think that going to church and brushing up on biblical trivia has some weight in your heavenly status. Believe in Christianity or don't, but don't do some lame halfass sunday-church-goer BS and live some fatasy in your head that the hours sitting in a pupil will give you karma points with the All Mighty.

Apologies to those who disagree, don't flame, but feel free to reply(or curse at the monitor).

Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!!

[weave]

Wow, that sucks aardwolf204. Christmas is never really quite the same after losing a parent, let alone two.

I was 20 when my mother died. I'm now 44. There's the old cliche about she's never really gone if you keep her alive in your memories. While on some level that's a bunch of bullshit, on others it's not. Our minds are like DRAM. Each memory needs to be refreshed regularly or it fades and is eventually lost or at least unreachable. It sucks that I dream about her less now too.

Anyway, I'm really touched by the replies here. It's inevitable that if you care about people in your life, you're going to face these kinds of losses. It's part of life unfortunately.

But, like the great philosopher Butters said in Southpark episode 714, "I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time I'm happy that something can make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel human. The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So it's a beautiful sadness."

Damn that was a great episode! Merry Christmas all. You know, I learned something very important today. Even among the trolls on slashdot, there's goodness in each and every one and you all touched my heart today. Best wishes to all this holiday season. Thanks!

Re:Microsoft Games Goddamnit!!

[aliensporebomb]

You guys are making me all misty inside! Arrrgh!

My father died in 1975 when I was 11 and my mom
died in 1998.

I know how it is to feel set adrift and cut off
from everything. I married a woman with a large
family and they make me feel welcome to be there
but I still feel the occasional "orphan" type
feelings, especially at holidays.

The weird thing is there are no living relatives
on my mothers' side that we know of (long story)
and also on my fathers' side he did not keep in touch with his family much - we get occasional cards from them who we don't know too well.

So, Christmas is sort of a weird time - very,
very bittersweet. It's true - you won't know
how much you'll miss your folks until they go.

Pretty grim stuff for a Christmas gift thing but
my mom had her fun foibles too which I now
remember fondly.

Have a great holiday everyone!

Re:Do NOT make fun of Christians!

[tickleboy2]

Christians present a threat to me and my family on many different levels. Religion is divisive and immoral. For people to abandon superstition for reason is a good thing.

Why does Christianity present a threat to you? The basis for Christianity is love. Is love a threat to you? And how is Christianity immoral? Give me one of the ten commandments that proclaims immorality.

Where, specifically, did I claim this? I don't trumpet "Truth" the way Christians do. Reason and reality are my guiding principles, not "truth".

I'm sorry but your previous posts have me believing otherwise. You seem quite defensive and aggresive with your own beliefs (which is fine). However stating that you don't "trumpet" your beliefs appears incorrect at this point.

Non sequitur. You argued that the founding fathers were Christians. Many of them were not.

You have given one example. Can I inquire as to how this became many?

Did you know that slavery is supported in both the OT and in the NT?

Could you provide the bible verses that you are referring to?