Working Around Bad Luck on the Resume?

Dodger asks: "A year ago I was laid off from my job after 2 1/2 years, shortly after the product I was working on shipped. Later that year, a company moved me 1500 miles from Texas to California, to start working on a promising project, just to have the plug pulled by the corporation that funded it five weeks later, which resulted in another layoff. Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume. When the companies I interview with ask about that situation I simply explain, while trying not to whine or complain. What do other Slashdot readers do to make 'bad luck' (or bad employer choices) look less bad on their resume, and sound less bad in interviews?"

Quick and Dirty

[Anonymous Coward]

If the person interviewing you is a white coder who reads Slashdot tell them your job was outsourced.

If anyone knew

[smccurry]

If anyone knew, they would probably be working rather than reading slashdot.

Re:fake it

[Anonymous Coward]

Hell, that's what my wife does!

CowboyNeal Defense

[Bishop, Martin]

When they ask questions of prior jobs that were unsatisfactory, simply yell "That's none of your concern, you insensative clod!"

You're doing fine.

[Zakabog]

If they ask about it, just do what you're doing now. Explain the situation to them and they'll probably understand, if they don't well you probably wouldn't want to work their anyway (well actually if they don't understand then they probably don't layoff people and I guess you would want to work their, oh well.)

I just needed some personal time...

[Anonymous Coward]

...to bond with my fellow inmates.

Just don't tell them the truth...

[beni1207]

...that you got fired for looking at goatse at work

Dogbert

[binaryDigit]

Reminds me of a funny Dogbert strip:

Always put impressive but impossible to verify jobs on your resume.

Employer: So Mr. Dogbert, it says here that you worked as a senior spy for the CIA.

Dogbert: Yes, and I was told to kill anyone who asks for details about it.

Impress them

[Anonymous Coward]

With your "knowledge" of 50 programming languages and dozen operating systems, not to mention your ability to network 60 Xbox's, which ironically, are their prerequisites anyways. :p

Re:CowboyNeal Defense

[Anonymous Coward]

Even better, yell: '-1 Troll' or '-1 Flamebait'

Creative

[lukewarmfusion]

From plausible to absurd:

I was spending time with my family
Extended vacation
Self-education/Wanted to learn something new
I was writing a book
Home renovation/improvment
Spiritual retreat in the desert
Creating and failing with dot-com startup
Using exfoliation to remove tattoo
Hunted down Steve Bartman to "express my feelings"

Take your pick.

Try this

[orthogonal]

Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume.

Shrug sheepishly and say, "My 'acting' career just didn't pan out."

Re:-1 Troll, but:

[LearnToSpell]

It is best if you can account for all of your time while unemployed.

What if you can account for most of it, barring some minor blackout periods where you wake up in the back of a hardware store, naked from the waist down lying in a pool of your own vomit? Theoretically speaking, I mean.

Works for me every time.

[Kenja]

Tell them you had to take an extended leave of absence due to a death in your family. If they try to verify this, kill a family member.

The best thing to do...

[jay-oh-eee!]

The best thing to do would to simply explain to them that the man's trying to hold you down. Also, that you'll program for food.

Or this:

[orthogonal]

Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume.

Explain, candidly: "Who knew you couldn't support yourself by bloging and posting comments to Slashdot wouldn't pay? By the way, I have another Slashdot comment coming up soon, stay tuned. Subscribe now and I'll let you read it! :)"

Re:-1 Troll, but:

[Anonymous Coward]

Is that you Filthy? I guess you could tell them you were reviewing movies.

Hey, if they read slashdot, you're trouble is over

[i)ave]

... just tell them, " I'm glad you brought this up, and even happier you read /., because they actually posted my submission on this very topic and an hour later I had excellent karma "

Tell'em you're freelancing

[sandbagger]

Okay, so you're months between clients.

So it goes.

Re:fake it

[Anonymous Coward]

Yah i know, could you talk to her about that?

Re:They're dead, Jim

[Anonymous Coward]

...Employers want to know how to get hold of your previous management, too, and pointing out that they're also not there any more tends to help...

Unless of course you're the reason why they're no longer around...

Go a step further

[doc_traig]

When he looks puzzled trying to understand what "Goatse" is, give the interviewer the URL so he can see for himself.

Re:In the interview

[somethinghollow]

just write your posts in pseudo code and maybe they will be perplexed, yet comforted that you are familiar enough with programming that it is your perferred method of communicating.

Wait. Did I say post? I meant interview. Sorry about that ;)

Re:Works for me every time.

[sharkey]

If they try to verify this, kill a family member.

If you have no family, go down to the morgue and claim the first unidentified body as your dear departed $RELATIVE.

Re:What is the US obsession with gaps on your resu

[Anonymous Coward]

Sadly not true in the UK, gaps are distinctly frowned upon by HR/recruitment and generally you won't make it to interview. The more savvy people will usually listen but UK recruitment is frequently controlled by algae, (true quote from recruitment drone "...so what exactly is a PhD?" Arggh!).

Re:Don't lie

[LostCluster]

Employers are looking for hard working, intelligient, and honest people.
----show me one employer.

The statement appears to be vaciously true. Because there are no employers at all, it's imposible to prove the statement false by coming up with an example of an employer who isn't looking for a hard working, intelligient, and honest person.

Kill a family member, eh?

[sczimme]

One from your family or the interviewer's?

I guess it would work either way...

Re:Been there, done that..

[El]

Get a job. ANY JOB.Showing you have a job indicates that you are a "go getter", willing to do what it takes. I hear there's an opening for a CFO at SCO... now if that doesn't show that you are a "go getter", willing to do whatever it takes, legal or not, moral or not, than I don't know what does!

Re:If anyone knew

[Prior Restraint]

Hear! Hear!

On my resume, my employment history tends to look something like this:

• 1998-2001: Company 1
• 2001-Present: Company 2

Everyone who interviews me simply assumes I've had continuous employment, and I see no need to disabuse them of that notion.

Re:Been there, done that..

[The Munger]

If business or law, go to hell.

Satan: So what makes you think you'd be good here.
Canidate: Well, I think this position is a stepping stone in my chosen career path.
Satan: Do you have any sadistic or psychopathic tendancies, a hatred for other people or a business degree?
Canidate: Well I have a law degree and a couple of years working at SCO under my belt.
Satan: Well why didn't you say so? When can you start?

Re:If anyone knew

[Wolfier]

Thanks for the tips.

I'll know exactly what happens when I'm interviewing the next candidate who says this.

Re:Lie!

[Skynyrd]

P.P.S. I'd sure like to figure out a way to make the word liberal lose its negative connotation...

Just add an even larger "negative" to it.
Something like liberalredneck [liberalredneck.org]

Yes, I'm a liberal and a redneck.

Re:They're dead, Jim

[glitch!]

Being able to answer the "Can I speak with your last recent supervisor there?" question with the "Sure, if you can manage to track him down because the only thing I know is that he's no longer with that company either."

And for extra points, you can follow up with something like, "And if you find him, please remind him to return my spare copy of Unix Network Programming." Or whatever your favorite technical bible is :-)

Say you were drinking heavily during that time...

[NotQuiteReal]

... and don't remember much.

That will leave more jobs for the rest of us!

Re:lie

[falsification]

"Hello, Vandelay Industries."

Re:Be honest, tell the truth

[Anonymous Coward]

be yourself, be professional

So which is it that you want me to do at the interview?

It's all in how you say it

[BinBoy]

A year ago I was laid off from my job after 2 1/2 years, shortly after the product I was working on shipped.

Took a sabbatical after successfully shipping the product.

Later that year, a company moved me 1500 miles from Texas to California, to start working on a promising project, just to have the plug pulled by the corporation that funded it five weeks later, which resulted in another layoff.

Helped guide a failed project to a close with minimal loss to the company.

Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume.

Took time to improve skills and consider various job opportunities.

Re:What is the US obsession with gaps on your resu

[lhpineapple]

I guess it's more common culture to actually keep a job, but just read /. all day.

Re:Be honest, tell the truth

[pndadzz(not a script]

Check out the scene with Jimmy Fallon in Almost Famous where he's interviewing to be the Rock Mgr.

Band Members:"well thank you, let us talk it over and we'll get in touch with you"

Fallon: "I'm sorry, you misunderstood, I only came in here to decide if I wanted to take the job. Now I'm gonna go outside the door and think about whether I want to work for you"

...leaves room

Band Members: "I kinda miss him already"

Re:My Resume Looks Much Worse -- How I Deal

[compactable]

one company I ethically could not work for (owner was trying to bilk millionaires out of investment cash)

Well, duh, who wants the resume stain formerly know as SCO in their "where I've worked" section ... (-;

Re:If anyone knew

[Anonymous Coward]

I think all job seekers should go on zero-value interviews for jobs they already know they don't want. Even if you don't want to do this while you're looking, try it to stay entertained between your job acceptance and your start date.

I had a panel interview once in this type of situation: For some reason the employer made an appointment a month out, and in the intervening time I had found and accepted a great job. I didn't cancel the interview, because hey, it gets me out of the house - and maybe it's even a better job. You never know, right?

When I walked in and found it was a panel interview, I just immediately got the idea of providing no new information. Whatever they asked, I would give a politician-style answer (e.g. one that seems like a solid answer but doesn't really say much), and then redirect the question to another one of the panelists.

So basically, any topic that was raised would "somehow" turn into a discussion (or even argument!) between two or more of the interviewers. This was like shooting fish in a barrel: There was so little challenge to it that after a while it got dull. So, to spice it up a bit, I made a (shocking!) comment: I told them I didn't appreciate being brought into a situation where they were airing their own internal issues instead of actually interviewing me. They all apologized and said they would stick to the point. After that, it became *much* harder to make them argue with each other without revealing what I was doing - but I still pulled it off a couple times.

They actually offered me the job. Idiots. I'm sure your panelists are *much* smarter...

Re:If anyone knew

[kinnell]

Say that the period of unemployment was actually you being a freelance IT consultant

Even better, without actually claiming anything directly, hint that you were employed as a freelance CIA operative doing top secret undercover work which didn't officially exist, and even if it did, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. They'll never be able to prove otherwise. Or even just answer every question with "I'm not at liberty do discuss that part of my life".

Re:If anyone knew

[YouHaveSnail]

You can slide furthur on bullshit, than you can on concrete


Guess he forgot to tell you the down sides to this philosophy:

1. When sliding on bullshit, you mostly go downhill.

2. You end up covered in, well, shit.

3. It's hard to find a job (or a date) when you're full of shit.

Re:If anyone knew

[Evil MarNuke]

1. Sliding on concrete is a short run before a sharp drop off, the curb.

2. Shit is easy to wash off. Scars are hard to hide.

3. You haven't done a lot of dating have you?

Re:Be honest, tell the truth

[ch-chuck]

I believe every employer appreciates a bit of honesty.

Yes, if you can fake that, you have it made. (Geo. Burns, on the secret of acting)

Successfull interview

[codeboost]

Here's how you should behave at a job interview. It's guaranteed to get you the job.
(C = company guy, YOU = you).
YOU: I've come here to save this company!
C: ??!?? What makes you think our company needs to be saved?
YOU: Well, it's obvious that it's going down, because you don't have ME on your staff yet...
C: (smiling) That's an interesting point. And how do you think you can save this company? Do you have any skills that might be suitable for this position, any special qualities?
YOU: There are very few skills that I don't excel at. In fact, I can't think of anything that I can't do. I'm not sure about eternal life, though ... I'll need to check on that about 50 years later.
I also have a lot of qualities that you've been dreaming to see in your employees.
C: Hmm.. Interesting... What are those?
YOU: One of my main qualities is modesty.
C: Aha...
YOU: Being so modest, it's hard to talk about my modesty. But just wanting this job proves how modest I am. Indeed, I could try harder, I could find something better than this company, with more potential and smarter management, but I don't need much... you know, as the saying goes: The pleasure is in the small things.
C: Ok, you've made your point. What else can you do, besides being modest ?
YOU: Lots of things. I can program by dictating the hex, binary or octal instruction values to a typist while having sex. For any processor.
The only bug I've made was not a software bug at all, it was an error in the processor I've assembled from beach sand while on vacation.
Of course I can also program the Sissy way...
C: The Sissy way ?
YOU: Yeah, you know... C and the like. Writing in C is an insult to my intelligence, so I just main(){__asm{}} and start reciting the raw code values. It's poetry. And poetry it is: 5, 5, 5; 2c; 25. I'm even thinking of starting a hip-hop band.
O well, IT is only one of my specialties.. I can also chop trees, fly assault helicopters, perform brain surgery, investigate crimes, take care of things...
C: !!! Take care of things ?!
YOU: Yeah, you know... Burry people, track down customers, clean up, you name it.
C: OK! You are just what we're looking for!
Welcome to the team! ....

Re:If anyone knew

[realpirata]

Damn it! It is jackass-dorks like you that give people in this field such a horrible reputation. Why the hell do you waste other people's time, just to boost your fragile ego? You have obviously never been in a position of authority, kid; time is money and word gets around... I am so glad my new business is taking off so I can leave this field and not deal with social rejects like you...

Re:If anyone knew

[Anonymous Coward]

When I walked in and found it was a panel interview, I just immediately got the idea of providing no new information. Whatever they asked, I would give a politician-style answer (e.g. one that seems like a solid answer but doesn't really say much), and then redirect the question to another one of the panelists.

One thing I've found about panel interviews is that everyone on the panel is usually convinced that they know more than you. So it helps to play into this and evey once in a while to through things like "Wow, incredible!", "This is just brilliant!" - the panel then completely loses composure.