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People with real l337 speak names? 1441

Posted by michael
from the real-submissions-unedited dept.
An anonymous reader writes "I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her. Anyway, it had me wondering whether there are any people out there with real l337 speak given names (or even just a digit in their name). Do you know of any? Other than people saying your dad is a l4m3r, What are the possible pitfalls of having a digit in your name? Is it legal to have a digit in a name? Am I guaranteeing my child becomes a misfit? Am I the misfit?" Ask Jennifer 8. Lee.
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People with real l337 speak names?

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  • oy (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:30PM (#8738233)
    Yeah, I'm going to name my first born son fr1st p50t!!11
  • Not a Joke (Score:5, Informative)

    by Merlin42 (148225) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:31PM (#8738243) Homepage
  • by JohnGrahamCumming (684871) * <slashdot@NosPAm.jgc.org> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:31PM (#8738244) Homepage Journal
    Imagine having a commonly used pr0n word in your name.

    John.
    • by CptChipJew (301983) <michaelmiller@gmail . c om> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:32PM (#8738265) Homepage Journal
      "Hi sorry, I apologize, but could you tell me your name again?"

      "Oh God, I'm Cumming!"

      sorry...
      • by Garion911 (10618) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:45PM (#8738493) Homepage
        I recall on usenet year ago, a student, whose school policy was first 6 letters of last name, first initial, last initial..

        Her name was something like Mary Elizabeth Cummings..

        http://groups.google.com/groups?q=cumminme&hl=en &l r=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=19990609210912.29320.000 01319%40ng33.aol.com&rnum=3

        • by johnkoer (163434) <(moc.oohay) (ta) (reoknhoj)> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:03PM (#8738807) Homepage Journal
          Since the link doesn't work, I think this is whar Garion is referring to:

          Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6
          characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end
          to make up an e-mail address..

          For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or
          fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize
          the problems that may happen when you have a
          large and diverse pool of people to choose from.

          Add to that a large database of company/college
          Acronyms and you have some very funny addresses.
          Probably not funny to the individual involved, however:

          Top ten actual E-mail Addresses

          10. Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) -
          eatonsht@dku.edu mailto:eatonsht@dku.edu

          9. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) -
          dickinme@iup.edu mailto:dickinme@iup.edu

          8. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) -
          kissinfk@lvu.edu mailto:kissinfk@lvu.edu

          7. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) -
          aspicker@pu.edu mailto:aspicker@pu.edu

          6. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) -
          ibballin@bsu.edu mailto:ibballin@bsu.edu

          5. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical,
          Northern Division, Overton, Canada) -
          btkisser@bendover.com mailto:btkisser@bendover.com

          4. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) -
          ihadcock@tru.com mailto:ihadcock@tru.com

          3. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) -
          cumminme@fu.edu mailto:cumminme@fu.edu

          2. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) -
          blowmegd@dropdrawers.com mailto:blowmegd@dropdrawers.com

          but at No 1, it had to be...

          1. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) -
          beeranbj@myplace.com mailto:beeranbj@myplace.com
          • by Analogy Man (601298) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:16PM (#8739012)
            Straight up my wife went to high school with a Richard Wacker. I understand he lived up to his name too!
            • In Indianapolis? I went to high school with his son, Peter Wacker (I'm not kidding). If your name was Richard Wacker, why in the world would you name your kid Peter? I heard Pete changed his name a couple years ago.

              I was in a bar with some friends talking about people we know with goofy names like Peter Wacker and Claire Annette Reed. My friend's gf was being quiet and I asked her what was wrong. She said "Do you know what my name is?" and I said "Mandy" which is all I had ever called her. She inform
          • by Alkaiser (114022) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:57PM (#8739581) Homepage
            My sophomore year, UC Irvine went from choose your own UID to First Initial, Middle Initial, 6 letters of last name. Freshmen got them auto-assigned like that.

            I was making a database of club emails, and there was a girl in there named Serena Tan...middle initial, A.

            The school had a policy of allowing you to change something that was blatantly horrible, so she didn't have to bear with "satan@uci.edu" for more than a week or so.
    • by HiredMan (5546) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:41PM (#8738396) Journal
      That would suck. No one would be able to find you on any search engine query for all the results.

      Of course, in the future the only way to remain anonymous might be to have a name so common that it can't be filtered from the noise of web page META tags.

      I named my kids "Nude Portman Viagra" and "Spam Nigeria Warez" because if I can't keep them off the grid I can at least make the very, very hard to find.

      =tkk
      • by gnu-generation-one (717590) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:52PM (#8738602) Homepage
        "That would suck. No one would be able to find you on any search engine query for all the results."

        FBI agent: "We've got the Echelon data on Mr Cumming, sir. Results 1-10 of 413,770,400 are on your screen now. They're mostly emails mentioning his name"

      • anonymity (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Transient0 (175617) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:21PM (#8739117) Homepage
        it's true. I have an uncommon enough name that when I do a google on my name in quotes, over half the results are actually about me. This has good and bad sides. For one thing, anyone who knows my name can find out a fair bit about me pretty fast. Fortunately nothing bad about me is really on the net, but who knows if it will stay that way.

        On the other hand, I have a friend named John Smith who was arrested on pretty serious drug charges but managed to get off without a jail sentence. There are half a dozen articles on the internet that mention his name in this regard, but type John Smith into google and they're nowhere in the first thousand results.
    • by GillBates0 (664202) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:44PM (#8738478) Homepage Journal
      goatse, darling! can you come here a minute?

      coming dad! (@) *shudder*

    • sending e-mail (Score:3, Insightful)

      by TubeSteak (669689)
      Either way, the kid's emails will never get past the spam filters.
      Imagine it: j8Lee@wherever.edu
      or worse: Br4d.Cumming@whevever.edu
      Seriously, how much of your email has gotten bounced or blackholed over the years because of your name?
    • by dfung (68701)
      My junior year roommate in college was Peter Wang. At the end of the year, when we gave out the "house awards", he won "Most Redundant Name".

      I thought he had it bad, but it's nothing compared to you, John.
  • by PaintyThePirate (682047) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:31PM (#8738251) Homepage
    One problem would be taking standardized tests such as the SATs. There are no numbers in the section where you bubble in your name. Your child could lose the 400 points given for putting your name on the test...
  • I think... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by j0keralpha (713423) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:32PM (#8738252)
    I think you'll just wind up irreperably harming your child, as when they get to school and interact with kids, they'll be mercilessly made fun of. hey, if you want to be father to the next dylan kleybold, thats up to you, but do it in an isolated area where you will be the only casualty.
    • Re:I think... (Score:3, Insightful)

      by gcaseye6677 (694805)
      It wouldn't cause any more ridicule than naming a kid Pubert, which is a name I have actually heard of. But seriously, some people should be arrested for child abuse for coming up with some of these horrendously stupid names.
  • Ry4an (Score:5, Informative)

    by ry4an (1568) <ry4an-slashdot@[ ]an.org ['ry4' in gap]> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:32PM (#8738255) Homepage
    I had my name legally changed to Ry4an 10 years ago. It's worked out fine though most formal records just exclude it.
  • by tanguyr (468371) <tanguyr+slashdot@gmail.com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:32PM (#8738263) Homepage
    I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender. My wife isn't too keen on the idea but there's plenty of time left to persuade her... considering you haven't even met her yet. Now move out of your parent's basement and stop posting April Fool's jokes.
  • by stoolpigeon (454276) <bittercode@gmail> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:33PM (#8738268) Homepage Journal
    all us boys got unusual names. Makes you tough.

    Sue.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:33PM (#8738275)
    But,

    On the off chance it is not then the best thing to do is to change your own name and see how it goes.

    Reserve the stupid name for your second child if you find it so great.
  • by b12arr0 (3064) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:33PM (#8738278) Homepage
    My parents named me sc0. They thought they were so cool with their UnixWare server. I'm in therapy now.
  • Well ...... (Score:3, Funny)

    by lake2112 (748837) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:33PM (#8738281)
    I am going to name my first child :-) . Because he/she will the happiest child in the world with a name like :-)
  • by LilMikey (615759) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:34PM (#8738287) Homepage
    ...stupid isn't illegal yet.
  • by baudilus (665036) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:34PM (#8738289)
    but you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
  • Don't do it (Score:5, Insightful)

    by billmaly (212308) <[ten.asudoelcm] [ta] [ylam.llib]> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:35PM (#8738305)
    OK, April Foole or not, your child deserves a real name, not a gag name or a spoof or your attempt to make a point or to be cute. You've no clue what will become of your child later in life, what path they will take, who they will work and live with. A name is one of few things you have control over in their life, and a bad/goofy name can really impact a child's psyche and who they become. My own father never outgrew the name Jan (old world version of John) and forever held it against his parents. If you need further reference, look at the flack that the musician Prince put up with when he changed his name to an unprononucable symbol. Do you really want people laughing at your kid behind his/her back the rest of their life?

    Name them Robert, Sarah, Bruce, Steve, Karen, Jessica, whatever. Just don't get cute or play games with your kids name. It's too important for you to mess with.
    • Re:Don't do it (Score:5, Insightful)

      by RobertB-DC (622190) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:05PM (#8738842) Homepage Journal
      Do you really want people laughing at your kid behind his/her back the rest of their life?

      No fooling: my wife works at a children's hospital, and once had a child come through whose middle name was "Trash". The parent (singlular, of course) was just as caring as you might expect from someone who would do that to her child. In a fair world, a name like that on a birth certificate would be prima facie evidence of child abuse... whether you were thinking along the lines of Boy Named Sue [banned-width.com] or not.
  • by senahj (461846) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:36PM (#8738310)

    > Br4d
    > J4n37
    Dr. Scott!
    Rocky!
  • by dcocos (128532) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:36PM (#8738312)
    My first CS TA in college's first name was 'H' he said that it had caused him a lot of problems. In fact I just searched for him on Google and http://www.cs.pitt.edu/%7Ehcl/me/name.html this page explains it.
  • Seen it.. once (Score:4, Informative)

    by viniosity (592905) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:37PM (#8738335) Homepage Journal
    Back in 1999 there was a guy at Apple who's name (as posted outside his cube) was Bo3b. I believe the '3' was silent.
  • Don't (Score:3, Interesting)

    by acomj (20611) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:37PM (#8738344) Homepage
    People judge you on your name.

    I know from personal experience.I have a strange name..Aram, Simple but different. . I've had a few people tell me what they were expecting from name someone "with a turban". Or my last name Com jean which some people think as french "you don't speak french???". I'm just a caucasion with some armenian mixed in.

    My name I like, but I'm often pre judged on it. I can't imagine what Dweezle Zappa would go through if his father wasn't so famous.
  • by Samurai Cat! (15315) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:42PM (#8738423) Homepage
    ...who went to high school with these two people, brother and sister. The guy's name was Chip, the girl's name was Cookie.

    The dog's name was Chocolate.

    I shit thee not.
  • by Concerned Onlooker (473481) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:42PM (#8738427) Homepage Journal
    Tom Lehrer [rhino.com] told the story about his "unique" friend who had decided to spell his name Hen3ry. He would just say the 3 is silent.

  • by HarveyBirdman (627248) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:43PM (#8738447) Journal
    I'm considering naming my first-born child either Br4d or J4n37, depending on gender.

    Translation: I hate my child, and wish to see them get beaten regularly in school.

    You don't have another child named Squee, do you?

  • My Grandpa is 1337! (Score:3, Interesting)

    by RobertB-DC (622190) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:45PM (#8738481) Homepage Journal
    The search on "Jennifer 8. Lee" brought back an interesting blog comment [norlos.com]: If it's simply the number eight, why does it have a period after it?

    My grandfather's name is A C (let's call him Jonesmith for privacy). When he married my grandmother (first grandpa died before I was born), I thought his name was "Acee", like the local milk company [cgi.ebay.ca]. But his first name is "A", and his middle name is "C". And his full name is A C Jonesmith, not A. C. Jonesmith.

    So the blogger is right -- if her middle name is "8", it should be "Jennifer 8 Lee", no period.

    And my grandpa was 1337 before 1337 was invented.
  • by forgetmenot (467513) <atsjewellNO@SPAMonebox.com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:45PM (#8738489) Homepage
    This is the ultimate in inconsiderate selfishness. The name you give a child is the name that child is going to be stuck with, at least until they're old enough to change it to something sensible. Children are not 'possessions' or baubles that hang around as a display of your status or in this case you 'geekiness'. Consequently the name you give a child is something very serious and deserving of every bit of consideration you can give it and more. With more idiots like this naming their children in the same way they would name a pet or even a car, I would not be surprised to see more lawsuits in the future by offspring pissed off at their parents for the lifetime of humiliation heaped upon them by these inconsiderate jerkwads who don't deserve the title of 'parent'. You don't think it'll happen? There's already cases of young men suing their parents over being circumcised - a very common practice until recently. A child's name is NOT a joke. Grow the hell up!

    To put it into perspective. "Prince Michael" might not be old enough to care right now, but once he's a young adult, do you think he's really going to appreciate the amount of consideration is self-obsessed ass-wipe of a father gave his name?
  • Sue (Score:3, Funny)

    by Quill_28 (553921) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:47PM (#8738519) Journal
    Is this the modern day version of a boy named sue?

    Yes, I know it's April 1st.
  • by httpamphibio.us (579491) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:56PM (#8738690)
    I'm getting married soon and I looked up the laws about changing your name in a couple different states, Washington, Oregon, and Ohio, and every single one of the says that it's alright to have a number spelled out, but having a numeral isn't allowed. Granted, things may be different outside of the US.
  • Must clarify... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Fnkmaster (89084) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:57PM (#8738698)
    Okay, I just want to set the record straight on this story since it's actually on-topic for once. I know Jenny Lee. We went to the same college, she was class of '99 and I was class of '00 (yes, you can easily figure out where that is if you want).


    She uses the number "8" in her byline, a clever device she came up with to differentiate herself from the hordes of other Asian girls named "Jennifer Lee". In fact, I believe there was actually another Jennifer Lee at her high school (Stuyvesant, in NYC, if I remember correctly) that wrote for the paper and she wanted to differentiate herself.


    Lots of people have made up stories about the origins of "that wacky NY Times writer's middle initial", that her parents gave her the middle intial "8" because it's a lucky number in China or some such thing. These stories were either made up by silly people or things she once told at a party after a few beers just to see if people would actually believe them, and they have propagated over the Internet (because when you are a Circuits writer, you get geek-fans). The 8 is a creation of her own. Why 8 rather than 9 or 10? I believe because she thought it sounded cool, though the number may have some other personal significance.


    So these days she may actually tell people her name is Jennifer 8. Lee because that's her byline and it's become associated with her. But it certainly wasn't her given name by her parents, and to the best of my knowledge she has never gone and changed her legal name or anything of that sort.

  • by MobyDisk (75490) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @01:57PM (#8738702) Homepage
    This guy [slashdot.org] changed his name to Tronster in homage to the movie Tron [imdb.com] and so that it would match his old BBS handle. Yes, his name is actually now Tronster [tronster.com]. Okay, maybe it isn't as l337 as 7r0n513r, but still.

    Oh, and it doesn't matter because the US doesn't allow numbers in names [soyouwanna.com]

    • The actual reference from your link says "You can not use numbers in your name, like 911, in order to intentionally confuse people." From that, I take it that if your intent is not to confuse, you can use numbers in your name. If not, they should revise their wording in that statement.
    • So instead of Br4d he could be Brfourd or instead of J4n37 she could be Jfournthreeseven. That would bo 0s0 c00l. Teachers would be like WTF?!?!
  • A famous example (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:05PM (#8738843)

    Apple's own Bo3b Johnson [google.com]. He's been a member of Apple Developer Support since time immemorial, and has managed to get Bo3b on credit cards and (it's rumored) drivers licences since way before many slashdotters were born.

    The 3 is silent by the way. And apparently Bo3b is short for Ro3bert.

  • Max Barry (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Triv (181010) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:09PM (#8738925) Journal
    Max Barry's novel "Syrup" has a main character named "6". She was born as "0", with a number added on each of her birthdays. Her parents died in an airplane accident when she was 6, hence...

    (It's a GREAT book, by the way. :) )

    Triv

  • by WormholeFiend (674934) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:10PM (#8738939)
    april fool jokes aside...

    if you want to give your child an unusual name, at least give him or her something s/he can abbreviate to something less unusual if s/he turns out to be more conservative than you, otherwise, s/he could have some problems, among other things, with finding a job, people assuming the name has typo or is a joke name (but I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus!).

    even some foreigners are starting to modify their names due to embarrassing phonetic correlation in English... like this Vietnamese person I know: real name "Phuoc". (side note: a friend of mine who is a native French speaker took her child to the Toronto zoo once, and she was teaching her to say the animal names in French. The people around her were evidently scandalized to see this mother teach her daughter to point at a seal and to say: "un phoque!")

    That being said, I also know a guy named Richard Hertz, who everyone calls Dick. No joke.

    I wouldnt be surprised if one day someone starts an agency to research names that have absolutely no bad connotations in any language.
  • by CrazyTalk (662055) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:29PM (#8739231)
    A friend of my sister had twins and (no joke) named them Orangello and Lemongello (Orange jello and Lemon jello, get it?). They are of school age now, and their names are practially urban legends, but as far as I've heard havent had any problems because of their names.
  • our child (Score:3, Informative)

    by shemnon (77367) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:36PM (#8739311) Journal
    We are expecting a child in october and I am trying to convince my wife to name it "Princess 247" if it's a girl and "Hot_Wheels 180" if it's a boy.

    Her most convincing arguments have to do with the standardized testing that is going on in the schools now. Unless I can show her a bubble sheet with numbers for the middle initial or an underscore for the first name they are out of consideration. (I releneted on the colouring of the names as well, since I was going to make the "Hot" red and the "Wheels" a dark rubber grey but there's a chance the boy may be colour blind).

    Dose anyone work for the ITBS tests or the CAT tests and can upgrade the bubble sheets for this? It doesn't have to be immediate, Since it is at least 5-7 years away until they will test I think that if I can show they will be there by then I can make her budge. That will show her to make comprimizes that aren't!
  • by ThresholdRPG (310239) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @05:55PM (#8741609) Homepage Journal
    Oh boy.

    Another stupid April Fool's news item.

    April 2nd cannot come soon enough.

    Can't we just add a day to February and get rid of April 1?

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