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Using the internet for free food? 242

Posted by michael
from the real-submissions-unedited dept.
GreyOrange writes "With all the offers for free food on the internet how can a hungry person differitiate between the bogus ones and the ones that fill the tummy? One legitimate offer I've found so far is from www.jellybelly.com were they give you a free sample. But theres a tremendous amount of websites that are missleading and offering food in exchange for credit application and other horrible things like spam and never living up to their end of the deal. Got any good websites for free edibles, how about other things that might be of equal value that are not bogus. How about some methods you have picked up for all you veterans out there. Is there a directery out there that is true to its word, how about a wikipedia page?"
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Using the internet for free food?

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    For four years straight, Slashdot has consistently run poor, unfunny "gag" stories on its front
    page for April Fools Day. As a united userbase, we must take a stand. Enough is enough. If
    an attempt is going to be made at the funny, it should be bold and [eff.org]
    pervasive. Right now regular Slashdot readers tremble at the approach of April due to
    the impending parade of sickening unfunny that is April Fools on Slashdot.

    If you're SICK OF IT and FED UP, mod this post up. If you're afraid of the "metamod
    consequences", us
    • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:53PM (#8739524)
      I usually am a troll (I try to get upmoderated, as opposed to the lamer crapflooding, though), but I actually have to admit that I like the "real submissions unedited", if they truly are real submissions.

      It is a pretty good way to see some of the lamest submissions that make it into Ask Slashdot - the ones that get posted are often lame, but these are orders of magnitude beyond that.

      I vote to keep it.
      • MOD PARENT UP!!! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by kuwan (443684) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:00PM (#8739624) Homepage
        Those people out there that don't think today's April Fools posts are funny is because you fail to realize that these are normal submissions the editors have to deal with on a daily basis.

        Please take note of the from the real-submissions-unedited dept. subtitle under each post. These posts were submitted as serious questions and that's what makes them so funny. I think it's great that the editors are sharing with us some of the lamest posts that they've had to read through.

        Keep 'em coming!
      • I usually am a troll (I try to get upmoderated

        Your post is at +5 - you succeeded again!
    • That's why I propose we name tomorrow, April 2nd, "April Bitch-Slap Day", where we get back at all the pathetic losers who play pathetic jokes with an old-fashioned slap upside their head, followed by an ass-kicking if the joke was especially bad.


    • I think you missed what they're probably doing. I'm pretty sure that what we're seeing is a flood of stories that they normally reject. I doubt that they made up a single story today from what I've seen so far (except the poll).
      • by transient (232842) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:01PM (#8739628)
        That doesn't make any of it funny.
      • Why it sucks (Score:5, Interesting)

        by bonch (38532) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:11PM (#8739730)
        I really wish michael wasn't at the helm today. The crap that's getting posted is roll-your-eyes, "we're supposed to laugh because it's so stupid" humor, which most of us outgrew after 9th grade.

        The April Fool's Days in the past used to be great because you never knew which was real and which was fake. A really absurd story might have this strange grain of reality in it, and it would turn out to be true. Then the seemingly benign announcement would turn out to be a great prank. People would still be referencing the April Fool's posts in their comments on April 2nd.

        The point of an April Fool's joke is to actually fall for the joke. Not this lame, "it's stupid so we'll post it" strategy that michael is employing. Real-life l33t names? Usenet audio? Using the internet for free food? These barely even qualify as April Fool's jokes. Most of them aren't even trying to fool you with anything. Posting really stupid shit isn't funny, and it's not clever.

        What's worse, I know of several groups that crafted well-done April Fool's jokes and submitted them for today, and they have been rejected. Their greatness was that some of them were half-true, some were false but had entire websites and everything set up, and some were completely absurd but totally true.

        Instead, we get "Using the internet for free food?"
    • Not to feed the AC's, but everyone who's bitching about this does realize that the reason Slashdot has been getting heavier on the April Fool's stories the past few years is precisely because people bitch about it. The editors are becoming cynical little bastards (check out the latest poll, in direct defiance of people who constantly bitch about lack of options), and for that, I salute them.
    • by tbase (666607) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:58PM (#8739600)
      I think you may be missing the point. The posts aren't supposed to be the funny part - it's the fact that people actually submitted these that IMHO is hillarious.

      Maybe it's not a real good fit for April Fools, but I think it's as good a time as any, and I for one enjoy the opportunity to look at some of the submissions that we otherwise wouldn't have the opportunity to.

      If you honestly have that much of a problem with it, take a day off from /. - I'm sure you'll survive.
    • You know what's even worse? Slashdot rejects funny submissions [javalobby.org]. Here's the text of my submission that got rejected twice(!):


      In one of the oddest moves yet, Guillaume Desnoix (head of the JDistro [jdistro.com] project) has ported the open source Kaffe [kaffe.org] Java Virtual Machine to his Apple ][c. When asked why he did it, he said, "The main reason was to fasten my programming daily work. I felt a little limited by the 6502 instructions and wanted to enjoy the highlevel bytecode of Java." Read the full scoop over at JavaLobby [javalobby.org].

    • Sheesh, why don't you just not go to Slashdot on April 1? It's one day out of the year.
    • "Right now regular Slashdot readers tremble at the approach of April due to
      the impending parade of sickening unfunny that is April Fools on Slashdot."


      Well I haveta agree, it really sucks that Slashdot is only serious 364 days out of the year.
    • I know the jokes get old, but I actually thought this one was pretty funny. My humor is relatively lame, though, I guess.
  • Yum! (Score:4, Funny)

    by AtariAmarok (451306) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:46PM (#8739418)
    I already get lots of delicious spam in my inbox every single day! What more can one ask for?
  • Dumb (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Bryan Ischo (893) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:46PM (#8739419) Homepage
    This was one of the dumber and less funny April Fool's postings. Bleh.
    • Why are you assuming this is a joke? I mean, it's not like a fake story. Someone is asking slashdot about something related to the internet.

      I wouldn't mind finding some free goodies online, and I definately could've used some free food last year when I was in college.
    • Re:Dumb (Score:5, Insightful)

      by ubugly2 (454850) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:51PM (#8739509) Homepage
      The day is not over yet..
    • What's perturbing me is michael is doing it all. Especially ask/. which is mostly cliff's domain. I suggested an april fools joke to submit to askslash to cliff through email, and he liked it and said he'd post it, but it was rejected this morning. No doubt it was michael... he still hates me since he said I had no life for over 812 comments.
    • I'm rather enjoying these. They're actually more interesting than the usual 'what's the best app for foo' or 'how do I use toilet paper' or something.

      These actually provoke creative responses rather than 'use Google!' or 'hire a lawyer!'
    • It's not funny if it's already been done better in real life. There was a Japanese reality show [3web.ne.jp] where they locked up this guy naked in an apartment and he had to survive on the items he won in mail-in contests.
  • Wiki (Score:3, Funny)

    by Rorschach1 (174480) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:46PM (#8739423) Homepage
    Right here [wikipedia.org].

  • Foo (Score:2, Funny)

    by ackthpt (218170) *
    Can't even get the free JellyBelly jelly beans!

    I wonder if they have red herring flavor yet

  • by Minwee (522556) <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:47PM (#8739437) Homepage
    What makes me even sadder is that we can look forward to a duplicate of this story tomorrow.
  • god help.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by hot_Karls_bad_cavern (759797) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:47PM (#8739440) Journal
    God help the poor slob that first discovers slashdot on today of all days!
    • You think the quality has gone down today? You must be new here.
    • Is does The Onion [theonion.com] run serious stories today?

      --trb
    • if they can't figure out its april fools stuff, and never come back, I say Good riddance.

      If you can't take a day of sillyness on a web page, then you are really too serious of a person and should seek theropy. Of course, people who stay around just to bitch in stead of just not coming to slashdot REALLY need theorpy because they seem to think there day can't go on without it.
  • by baudilus (665036) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:48PM (#8739449)
    Nothing to do with food, but there are several car dealers that have ads like "If you don't get approved, we'll pay you $100!"

    Step 1) Ruin Credit Horribly.
    Step 2) Go around town applying for car loans.
    Step 3) Rake in the free dough!
    • What if you aren't approved to receive the $100?
    • Nothing to do with food, but there are several car dealers that have ads like "If you don't get approved, we'll pay you $100!"

      Step 1) Ruin Credit Horribly.
      Step 2) Go around town applying for car loans.
      Step 3) Rake in the free dough!


      Theoretically, they could give you a 0-second loan.
    • Re:Buying a Car (Score:3, Informative)

      by leastsquares (39359)
      To cut a long story short, I was actually in a position to do this.

      Sadly, they always approve you -- but would you take out a loan at 38.4% interest?

      (Did I mention that I love the credit agencies?)
    • Actually, that won't work. They will approve your loan, but at a 30% interest rate for 10 years, or only if you put 50% down, or some bullshit like that. They make it so onerous that nobody will EVER say yes. Technically, however, you were approved, so you can't get your cash.
  • ..you asked for food, and you got Spam.

    Sure, it's not a steak, but com'on, it's free? What did you expect?

  • by hattig (47930) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:48PM (#8739453) Journal
    Someone fetch me when it is April 2nd.
  • Not exactly what you're asking about, but one way to scam free food out of a fast food joint is to order a small quantity of something, then come back in an hour claiming they left out some of a larger quantity. For example, order the 6 pack of tacos, then come back claiming to have ordered the 10 pack, and they left out four. Usually if they remember you were there at all, they turn over the grub.

    My mom used to do this. Of course, she's an evil being who is currently serving 25 years for a hire-to-kill fo
    • Let me guess. They originally sentenced her to ten years, but when she got out she went back to the judge and claimed it was twenty five. Right?
  • " offering food in exchange for credit application and other horrible things like spam"
    Spam [spam.com] is food, you insensitive clod!
    -psy
  • by Embedded Geek (532893) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:49PM (#8739464) Homepage
    Jokes about http://Eat<any vulgarity that will trip an obscinity filter>.com in 3, 2, 1...
  • by tyrani (166937) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:49PM (#8739469)
    Ethernet Cable is quite tasty. I'm currently chewing on some right now.
  • by jayayeem (247877) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:49PM (#8739471)
    I often get free food from computers by inverting the keyboards on public use terminals and shaking them. Usually there is a great variety of crumbs from many different kinds of cookies and crackers.
    • True story...

      I was changing a user's keyboard and it was FULL of crackers, chips, whatever else she had been eating over her keyboard for who knows how long.

      I was appalled and said this was the most disgusting keyboard I have ever seen.

      Her: You should see my floors at home, you could eat off of them.

      Me: I could eat off of your keyboard, there's a whole damn meal in it!!!
    • You just made me look in the keyboard in the local lab and all yuk. Now I see were those OCD clean freaks are comming from. I will now have to wash my hands everytime I use the lab.
    • ... those crumbs in the keyboard are not from 'cookies and crackers'. Think dandruff, scabs, dried snot...

      They're people!

      Keyboard crumbs are made from people!
  • With all the offers for free food on the internet how can a hungry person differitiate between the bogus ones and the ones that fill the tummy?

    This takes cockroaching to a new level, dude...

  • freshmeat. (Score:4, Funny)

    by fjordboy (169716) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:50PM (#8739482) Homepage
    You can't forget FreshMeat.net [freshmeat.net]

    Come on...every slashdotter should know that site.

  • Excellent job promoting www.jellybelly.com! You, Sir, deserve both a pay raise and a promotion!

  • by coupland (160334) * <dchaseNO@SPAMhotmail.com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:50PM (#8739495) Journal
    I cast my vote for Fruit Rollups. Best thing about them is you don't have to order them, you can just print them. Taste about the same, too!
  • Even if this is an april fools joke, it wouldn't be so bad to get a list of places that give free samples of things like free condoms, free lube, free sex toys. Honestly.
  • A bit late (Score:4, Informative)

    by brejc8 (223089) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:52PM (#8739518) Homepage Journal
    I remember a few years back (99-01) during the internet boom/desperation days there were lots oc sites giving away stuff. The best way to fing free stuff is from "free stuff" websites. I got lost of stuff:T-shirts, samples... My favorite was a train whistle (huge 9" wooden thing that sounds just like a train) and a very nice box of chocolates.

    Unfortunately the're no longer many money burning web ventures.

  • by rice_burners_suck (243660) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:53PM (#8739522)
    Want free food? (Yes, and I know this is an April Fools bullshit story, but I couldn't resist.) If there's a store called Costco in your area, get a membership there (like, 100 bucks a year) and go there on Sunday. They hand out free samples of all kinds of stuff. You can walk around for a few hours and basically get a full meal for free. If you consider 100 bucks a year free. But suppose you go there every weekend, that's like 100/50 or 100/52 or so, which makes it like 2 bucks for a meal, which isn't that bad of a deal and shit.

    • A lot of stores have clerks handing out free samples of food (often pizza - yum :) in various locations. It's kind of neat, actually - I've got hold of some good recipes that way.

      One has to think that it's kind of counter-productive in a way, tho. After all, we all know that going to the grocery store hungry results in a spending spree :) - so if they're feeding you in the store, it might cut down on what you buy...

      Or... maybe not. Chicken Barbecue Ranch Pizza Samples sure burned my wallet last week
    • Damn. You can get a Sam's Club Membership for $35 and they have free food every damn day./
  • by tuxette (731067) * <tuxetteNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:53PM (#8739523) Homepage Journal
    Get on an Internet dating site. Go on a date with a gentleman (or lady) who will buy you dinner (not with some cheap ungentlemanly clod!) and voila - free food.

    And no, I've never done this. Ever. Not even when I was a poor student. Really!

  • Gimme a place that offers free PC hardware. I'm in need of a cheap/free front audio panel [pccables.com]. Something in the sub-$10 range..
  • Drink beer. Need it free?

    http://www.surbiton.com/enough/beer.html

    Seriously, we need to liberate beer:

    http://members.aol.com/Dbix7/beer.html

    Or if your near Atlanta:

    http://www.atlanticbeerclub.com/

  • by Hard_Code (49548)
    s/dumpster diving/google diving/g
  • eat-my-shorts.com!
  • by avandesande (143899) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @02:58PM (#8739606) Journal
    I think they should provide an april fools day filter.
  • Free sample (Score:2, Funny)

    by Nighttime (231023)
    The offer's genuine at www.jellybelly.com [jellybelly.com]. However, clicking on the link for the free sample gives a page about there being no free slots.

    Congratulations, we may have /.'ed the jelly bean supply :)
  • Please don't laugh. This is a true story. It happened to the sister of a friend of a colleague of someone I know.

    She logged onto a web site, expecting to find some innocent pop-up p0rn and dialer windows. Instead, she got a popup reading "Click here and get a free pizza!" Like a fool, she clicked on the popup. A few minutes and a registration page later, she got an email titled "Read this, activate your free pizza delivery!".

    You know what she should have done. Delete the email. Just delete it and forget about it. But no, what did she do? She opened it and read it. The email read: "Thank you for opening this email. Through the magic of Outlook Security we have run a software agent that has activated your PC's modem and dialed our central computer. Using called-id we have identified your telephone number and we now know your name, street number, and postal code. The pizza you have ordered is SPICY BEEF and will be delivered to your door in TEN MINUTES".

    You could tell from the capitals that SOMETHING TERRIBLE was going on.

    The pizza arrived. Inexorably, like a hangover on Sunday morning, a small white van drove up to the house and a man stepped out, dressed in white and carrying a flat pizza tray.

    What could she do? "Run!" I hear you scream. "Hide", perhaps? "Release the hounds?" No, she calmly opened the door and accepted the pizza box.

    Open... the... box...

    Open... the... box...

    The smell of warm pizza did a BDSM on her conscious mind and she found herself opening the pizza box...

    What did she find?

    ( ) A Hot'n spicy Beef pizza for four
    ( ) A CD-ROM labelled "Do Not Play"
    ( ) A mercedes, a portable phone, and a laughing Dutchman
    ( ) CowboyNeal
    ( ) Yes
    ( ) I'm a vegetarian, you insensitive clod!

    Well, the answer is stranger than any of these. She found a small piece of paper. Printed on it were the words: "Missing field! Please click back and enter full name!"
  • I coulda sworn that on April Fools day, you put one or two joke stories in with all the real ones...

    ...Rather than burying one or two real stories amongst all the jokes.

  • seriously (Score:5, Informative)

    by mandalayx (674042) * on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:04PM (#8739669) Journal
    I realize it's an April Fool's story.

    But if you are really interested in free stuff, may I suggest FatWallet's Free Stuff [fatwallet.com] forum. FW is "known" for its Hot Deals forum so I imagine the Free forum would be of substance as well.

    I would guess sites like Anandtech and bargainshare.net would have similar forums.
  • You laugh now, but in about a decade it won't be an April fools joke to "download food off the internet."

    With the democratization of molecular manufacturing [foresight.org], anyone will be able to download a "molecular blueprint (scan)" of any object -- including food, clothing, iPods, diamond, etc. -- and recycle local component molecules into that configuration. Of course this doesn't mean that you can transmute nitrogen into gold, but it does mean that you can turn the raw atomic material in, say, Ethiopian compost, i

    • Assuming everything else (like, raw materials) were completely free, somebody still has to pay the electric bill...

      Also practice, simple economics would mean that the price of "Ethiopian compost" and other suitable raw materials would rise due to increased demand.

      That's not to say it wouldn't have some interesting economic effects, though. Totally different classes of products would potentially become convertable...
      • I didn't say ZERO cost, now did I - I said NEAR-zero cost.

        somebody still has to pay the electric bill...

        The same molecular manufacturing process that assembles the food can also make highly efficient solar panels that provide the power for the molecular manufacturing process... bootstrapping your self-sufficiency.

        simple economics would mean that the price of "Ethiopian compost" and other suitable raw materials would rise due to increased demand.

        There's an over-abundance of suitable raw material all

    • Yeah right. I thought we were all supposed to own flying cars by now, too.
  • Dan's Chocolates (Score:3, Interesting)

    by superflippy (442879) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:11PM (#8739734) Homepage Journal
    Back in the Good Old Days (1999), a chocolate company called Dan's Chocolates opened a web site, got some capital, and decided to create buzz by giving away free boxes of chocolates (I think they may have asked for a $1 token shipping charge). They got so many requests for chocolate that their ordering system choked and some people didn't receive any candy. It was a time of free-flowing capital and general goodwill, so to make it up to the folks who didn't receive their chocolate, instead of just offering a refund they sent everyone who had requested a box the first time around another box of chocolates.

    The chocolate was pretty good, though I personally didn't order again (I still like See's better). What's amazing is that, even after that expensive publicity stunt and the .com bust, Dan's Chocolates [danschocolates.com] is still in business.
  • > ...horrible things like spam...

    What do you mean, "horrible"? Spam is good food!
  • by dameron (307970) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:15PM (#8739770) Homepage
    I once proposed a P2P food sharing program. Imagine the possibilities. You're standing in front of your fridg and there's nothing that interests you. Sure, you've got half a carton of last night's curry chicken but that's not what you're looking for.

    Go online, fire up "Snackster" and check what's out there. Oh look, via Snackster's geographic IP address location logic you see that a guy two blocks away has three two day old tamales and a six ounces of chips. With the click of a button you make your offer, yesterday's curry for Tuesdays's mexican food. A quick link from Snackster to mapquest get's you directions and twenty minutes you're eating something you'd like.

    You avoid tossing out stuff that's perfectly good but not appealing, plus you can take advantage of the huge portions most restaurants serve by saving half for your Snackster catalog.

    -dameron
    • Instead of writing a proposal for a program, write some php instead. There's no reason that this should be a p2p app, you're not going to have anonymity anyway.
  • by Sophrosyne (630428) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:17PM (#8739804) Homepage
    I can almost here the servers melting as every fat-ass slashdotter tries to get his share of the free Jelly Belly Promotion.
    ....and yes it really is slashdotted.
    Get your SCO loving hands off MY Jelly Bellys!!
  • by Meoworgg (767542) on Thursday April 01, 2004 @03:17PM (#8739812)
    weeklyfreebie.com [weeklyfreebie.com] They actually have a list of "free food" sites.
  • 'Nuff said
  • I'm just happy this April fools I haven't been fooled by some stupid goat sex link.
  • You can always wait until May 10 and get your free shrimp:

    http://www.longjohnsilvers.com/press/freeshrimp.ht m [longjohnsilvers.com]
  • Hey, don't forget that AstroGlide [astroglide.com] will send you a free sample too!
  • For someone with no money to buy food, unwanted neither unwanted e-mail, nor having to fill out some application is "a horror".

    Someone is out of touch...

  • alt.consumers.free-stuff [google.com] is good for this kind of thing.

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