Ask Slashdot: How Do You Spot Bullies During an Interview? 226
An anonymous reader writes: I have met approximately two bullies in my career so far in which I have had about 15 bosses. One of them I was able to spot during the interview itself but I took the job (I shouldn't have) and left five months later. The other boss only revealed his bully persona to me in secret and only to me in one-on-one meetings. I had to announce I am starting to record all meetings and he promptly fired me the next meeting, after my first month on the job. I got my old no-bully job back last month and I am happy as always, but I wish I could have detected the bully during the interview itself and avoided them.
How do you spot bullies? What commonalities have you noticed? Fun fact: I have noticed bullies start their bullying when they see you doing something they cannot do.
How do you spot bullies? What commonalities have you noticed? Fun fact: I have noticed bullies start their bullying when they see you doing something they cannot do.
Insecurity (Score:5, Interesting)
Bullies are motivated largely by insecurity. If you're good at what you do, they'll announce themselves.
Unfortunately, there's no clear signs until you've seen them confront something they feel they lack. When they double down on an attack instead of addressing their own deficit, you have identified a bully.
Also, while by-the-book is needed to cover your ass, don't expect them to stick to the law.
Re:Insecurity (Score:5, Insightful)
Unfortunately, there's no clear signs until you've seen them confront something they feel they lack.
Power.
Bullies crave power over others. Look how they act in presence of those who don't have power, or those who don't have power over them.
They also recognize and respect power.
They will try to compromise when meeting power equal to their own.
They will become downright servile when facing those whom they perceive as more powerful or whose assistance they need.
Authority figures, their own bosses, celebrities... Bullies will bow down to them.
Re: (Score:3)
Mostly agreed. The bullies I've run across did not respect power at all. In fact, they always thought they were better and more powerful than anyone and everyone else. But maybe I've had particularly bad luck in life...
Re:Insecurity (Score:4, Interesting)
There are other types of bully too.
I've worked with a couple of guys who had very strong technical opinions. That is normally fine but they weren't content to just explain them and make the case, they had to denigrate everyone else personally too.
I had one criticise a circuit I designed, and after describing what was a slightly more elegant solution but also a bit more expensive he spent ten minutes ranting about how there are so many incompetent idiots in the industry. We stuck with my design in the end.
Another was so abrasive when you asked him for basic quality of life improvements for the production staff it prevented them reporting problems with manufacture.
Re:Insecurity (Score:5, Insightful)
Reminds me of:
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
Found the asskisser.
You're worse than bullies, because you enable them, but contribute nothing positive yourself.
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This bromide is demonstrably false. Stalin, Hitler, Mao were all very powerful and hideously irresponsible.
Comment removed (Score:4, Insightful)
Re: Insecurity (Score:3)
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And that might mean e-mails printed and in safes. Don't count on your company recovering e-mails doesn't vindicate them. Penalties for Sarbanes-Oxley Act may be a fraction of penalties for what ever else they/the bully did.
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Re:Insecurity (Score:5, Insightful)
This. Instead of worrying about bullies, learn to play them.
Playing the bully is like, well, playing the bull. Everyone fancies themselves a matador until they get gored, and not all of us can afford to play the bully when your job or sanity is at risk. You may notice that bullies don't engage you in situations where they can't easily win.
Re:Insecurity (Score:5, Interesting)
Note that childhood premise about bullies being insecure isn't really believed anymore, many bullies have too much ego supporting their behavior.
As adults, bullies tend to be unaware of their bad behavior or why it is bad, as it gained their success (they became boss). They then manipulate or abuse that power feeling they have earned it.
So I wouldn't operate on the outdated premise folks would use to reassure kids.
it just depend... (Score:2)
... on what you think of as insecurity. They won't doubt themselves. They stand their ground. But I'd say emprically it's still about something that appears insecure. If they think they're smart, they'll dislike you if you seem smart, we're interpreting as feeling threatened, iow "insecure". They might describe their feelings as "I know I'm the smartest person so I put them in their place"... but I'd say that's that sign that they really thought (subconsciously) that they had something to prove, i.e. "
Re:Insecurity (Score:5, Interesting)
What the question is really asking is "how do you spot psychopathic personalities", for which the best qualification is having been exposed to one for an extended period of time. Friend of mine used to do this as his job, he was brought in to weed out psychopaths from candidates for high-level management positions at corporations. He had a whole arsenal of tricks for this, for example he'd invite the candidate to lunch at a restaurant where he'd arranged in advance with the waitstaff to get their order wrong. Depending on how they reacted, it was an instant fail.
Short version is, a sufficiently high-functioning psychopath will be pretty much impossible to detect, but if you want at least some protection read Robert Hare's "Snakes in Suits".
You'll still get caught though, unless you've had experience with them and know what to expect.
Comment removed (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: Insecurity (Score:4, Informative)
Comment removed (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Atheism and lack of belief in a soul is not nihilism.
It is true that most of the traditional notions of meaning and purpose are rooted deeply in religious teachings and that these concepts are in turn rooted on the idea of certain supernatural entities, like a soul or divine god. It is also true that many people cannot imagine how to find purpose outside of these traditional beliefs.
Personally, I am a total atheist and agree with the post above that I am "thinking meat." At the same time, I can als
Re: Insecurity (Score:4, Insightful)
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Um... this was actually my point. Of course this is a type of spirituality. It is just a spirituality rooted in a deep contemplation of how we understand the mechanisms of the universe through science, without invoking anything supernatural.
I'm no
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I also know a true psychopath, he is even scarier. He's wicked smart, highly manipulative, and even patented John Titor's [google.com]
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No a bully is different from a psychopath even though a bully may also be a psychopath. It is more about controlling others through violence and about sort of proving how tough they are to their peer group.
Re:Insecurity (Score:5, Interesting)
I don't know about bullies in general, but I know that research suggests that ian excessive *professed* regard for strict rules is a red flag for sociopaths -- at least when you're interviewing candidates. It's ironic because sociopaths are frequent rule breakers, but it turns out they're big on rules *for other people*.
Re: (Score:2)
Yeah. The last bully boss I had , I quit 3 days in. The dude was a godadmn nut. Screaming constantly at the juniors, would punch the wall in anger and turn bright red, and really quickly started going off at me. 3 days in I just walked in to his office and told him he was a bullying piece of shit and I had no desire to work for him, and that I had told the juniors I'll keep an eye out for alternative jops for them. He threatened to sue me, fortunately my best friend is a lawyer and the thing with lawyers is
How do I spot YOU?! (Score:4, Funny)
How do I spot an interviewee, who'll begin to record meetings a month into being hired?
Re:How do I spot YOU?! (Score:5, Insightful)
YOU may as well start live-streaming your life 24/7. Save everyone the effort.
You've just declared yourself as someone who desires more freedom in bullying other people.
Tell your next divorce lawyer I said hi.
Re: (Score:2)
Do not be an ass and then you will not get any of those. That may be beyond your capabilities though.
Re:How do I spot YOU?! (Score:5, Funny)
How do I spot an interviewee, who'll begin to record meetings a month into being hired?
Easy. Treat them like crap. Then you have a higher probability they're going to record you to protect themselves.
Re: How do I spot YOU?! (Score:4, Informative)
My point was that you can turn someone into that person you're looking for, by how you treat them.
Don't do that.
Re:How do I spot YOU?! (Score:4, Interesting)
You spot an interviewee by looking across the table (assuming you're the person doing the interview).
I'm not sure who'd begin to record meetings a month into being hired, is this a rhetorical question ?
Possibly you meant that to be one question and not two.
Having managed folks for more than 30 years, I could care less if an employee wants to record a meeting. I've never said anything to somebody in private that I'd deny if they went public so recording just helps prove I said what I said.
Re: (Score:2)
Who cares? If you're not doing anything wrong, what do you have to hide? And as long as your company has even remotely competent legal advice covering their confidentiality agreements there's no real risk to the company for having those meetings recorded. If anything, it's an efficiency, no need to take minutes.
But you know, if you're a crazy bastard in those 1 on 1 meetings I can see why that might frighten you.
Can you define bullying please? (Score:5, Insightful)
What do you mean when you say a boss has been bullying you (or others), what form does that take...
I just wonder if you have reasonable expectations, as recording meetings is kind of a strange response to any workplace behaviour except perhaps trying to get evidence for the FBI.
Re: Can you define bullying please? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:3)
The poster could just be a bully themselves. Bullying is a pattern of behavior and they hate the spotlight. When they're found out, or put in the spotlight, some of them will resort to playing victim themselves. They're not ugly, overweight idiots you see on an after school special, they're actually pretty cunning and good at what they do.
Bullying has been classified as non-physical violence and its definition has stretched from playing pranks and name calling to habitually not inviting the victim to bir
Re: Can you define bullying please? (Score:4, Informative)
Re: (Score:2)
Don't threaten. Just do.
If you're that far along, you're not losing anything. Also, if you live in a two-party state like I do, you actually need to make them aware of it for it to be legal and not a violation of the wiretapping law.
Re: (Score:3)
Bullying has been classified as non-physical violence
In my experience bullying almost always is about physical violence. Using the threat of physical violence to control people who they see as physically weaker in terms of fighting ability. I find it difficult to imagine a bully who is not all about threats of physical violence.
Re: Can you define bullying please? (Score:2)
Then you need to study more.
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Re: Can you define bullying please? (Score:4, Informative)
In my experience bullying almost always is about physical violence. Using the threat of physical violence to control people who they see as physically weaker in terms of fighting ability. I find it difficult to imagine a bully who is not all about threats of physical violence.
That's how kids bully each other. Twenty years of social pressure puts an end to physical outbursts in most people, the remainder enter specialized environments (jail or the military).
Adult bullying is about social dominance. Think intimidation, putting people in difficult situations, withholding important information from specific people, blocking inclusion, belittling, that sort of thing.
Adults don't beat each other up, that's for kids. We're far more vicious to each other. Bullies are the ones doing it on purpose, over and over again.
Re: (Score:3)
recording meetings is kind of a strange response to any workplace behavior except perhaps trying to get evidence for the FBI.
If a one-on-one meeting descends into verbal abuse, it may include references to gender, race, age, or other legally protected characteristics. A recording could be the basis of a nice civil suit or settlement.
In many "one-party" states, it is not necessary to have consent to record.
Re: (Score:2)
NDAs still may apply.
I've known some who will be up front and ask to record the meeting(s) so that they can use it to augment their notes as to what their next tasks are and requirements.
If the ask is framed in a "I'm doing this in case you turn out to be an a-hole", you'll lose every time, but within the context of doing better work, it is often more successful.
Re:Can you define bullying please? (Score:5, Informative)
NDAs still may apply.
NDAs, like other contracts, can't be used to permit or cover up illegal behavior.
Re: (Score:2)
Mostly correct, however as you said:
Such statements are not automatically illegal.
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And an NDA isn't relevant to the most obvious use of a recording of a discussion between an employee and an abusive boss, which is to hand it to HR in order to have them fix the problem. Once you've handed a recording of abusive behavior to HR, they're legally obligated to protect the company, which could involve either you or the boss getting counseling, transferred, fired, etc.
Re: (Score:2)
If a one-on-one meeting descends into verbal abuse, it may include references to gender, race, age, or other legally protected characteristics.
Maybe, and I did mention a legal reason to be recording, but it was just put out there originally as something he did with no context. He did tell them he was going to record meetings which points to not collecting examples for legal use.
Re: (Score:2)
>"What do you mean when you say a boss has been bullying you (or others), what form does that take..."
Bingo. For all we know, this guy defines "bullying" as making him do something he doesn't like or doesn't want to do.
Otherwise, I would tend to think of bullying in adults as psychopathic/sociopathic behavior (as others have noted).
Re: (Score:2)
This was my thought. There is no explanation of what these bosses did that constituted bullying. Did he confront them about it? Make it clear that he wasn't comfortable with how he was being treated?
A lot of introverts think that every extrovert who isn't gregarious is a bully. A lot of people think that anyone who openly disagrees with them is a bully. Some people find that what one person thinks is good-natured humor is bullying behavior.
Basically, the anonymous inquirer gave us nothing to go off of.
My ad
Re: Can you define bullying please? (Score:2)
Found one.
Read ALL you can on "Gaslighting" (Score:3)
Gaslighting may sound crazy at first, but you'll soon realize *everything* you've been told about bullying has been wrong and that most people really enable it!
You can spot predatory behaviour by someone acting initially like this:
1. Confident and inquisitive of you
2. Gives you their "war stories" about how disparaging and taking advantage of others is "fun"
3. The whole dazzle and charming phase (don't worry it won't last long)
Soon they'll turn around:
1. Abuse your trust and any information to turn it again
Psychopaths Practice (Score:5, Interesting)
You will not spot a psychopath bully during your initial meeting, unless you trigger them (target their ego). They practice, they really actually do, plot, scheme, practice, smooth the lines, practice in front of a mirror, so they can manipulate people on purpose. They are in the position they are because they practice lying. You could trigger them to get a response but no job for you. Down to luck of the draw about the only thing you can do is try to feel out other employees before taking the job.
Re:Psychopaths Practice (Score:5, Funny)
the only thing you can do is try to feel out other employees before taking the job.
If you know the name of your future boss, either before or after the interview, you can Google the name and check his profiles on Facebook and LinkedIn.
Look at the photos. If his kids never smile, his wife has bruises on her face, and he owns a pitbull, he may have issues.
Re: (Score:2)
Not all psychopaths are terrible family people or violent, in some ways it may even benefit a family since psychopaths are higher earners. Psychopathy is a spectrum thing, you wouldn't even call it a disorder unless it negatively affects their personal life.
Also, prying in someone's private life just because you're interviewing for a job is psychopathic behavior, keep the relationship professional.
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Indeed. Good idea.
Re:Psychopaths Practice (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
My view is that he's criminal, not insane.
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Re:Psychopaths Practice (Score:5, Insightful)
[Trump is] Probably a narcissist, ... they have an inflated sense of self-importance ...
He's a billionaire wheel of business who became the President of the United States, and has done considerable moving-and-shaking in his current position.
It's hard to get much more important than that. Wouldn't a high estimate of self-importance just be realism?
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I'm not an American, so I didn't pick or not-pick the president. However, I think I'd prefer a president who realises they're the mouth-piece of the people and is responsible to them for everything they do.
His record indicates that he knows and respects this more than most politicians. He won with approximately 50% of the vote, and he did that on the basis of a lot of promises. He has kept more of those than most politicians and any American President since Reagan.
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I agree. Trump is not a sociopath or psychopath.
Which makes him a rare duck among the swamp creatures. B-b
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You sound experienced with this type of practice and scheming.
Need more info (Score:5, Insightful)
Honestly it all depends what your definition of a bully is. It would have helped if you gave examples of bullying that happened to you by these bosses, or at least what you consider bullying.
Take, for instance, the threat of being fired if you don't come in this Saturday for a planned system upgrade, because you have a wedding to go to (and let's say it's not your immediate family). You may look at that as bullying, but in reality it depends on several factors:
-Is your skillset needed for the upgrade?
-Is there nobody who can be a backup for you? Are you integral to the upgrade?
-How far was the upgrade planned? Was it announced before you said you had to go to a wedding?
-Is there no chance of moving the upgrade date? Does it hinge upon a coordinated effort before more than 4-5 workers?
Those are some of the questions I'd like answered before I would say the boss is being a bully. Everyone's definition of bullies, especially nowadays with altered definitions to accommodate the thin-skinned folks, is different.
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Why would they have said anything beforehand about the wedding? Is it expected that employees have to coordinate with their boss regarding non-work events on their day off?
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"Take, for instance, the threat of being fired if you don't come in this Saturday for a planned system upgrade"
You may be asked if you are available to work on Saturday. If you say "No" that is the end of it. There is no need to give any other reason whatsoever. If that is followed by threats then one should call the police and lay a complaint of extortion.
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Bombastic, self-praising, doesn't support team (Score:4, Informative)
Bombastic, self-praising, doesn't support team effort, hogs all credit,
uses lots of sentences that start with "I".
Has orange face and a blonde combover which he touches with his little hands.
E
Many are well camouflaged (Score:5, Interesting)
Bullies, like many other psychos are often well camouflaged. They are basically all cowards and most of those that are successful develop a fine instinct for when they can get away with victimizing somebody and when they cannot. They are also basically all sadists and share their characteristics as well, although a sadist can and often is a perfectly fine person that has his or her urges completely under control and only lets them out with other parties that give informed consent. Obviously, bullies are unable or unwilling to exercise this type of restraint.
Hence spotting them is difficult. I do think you basically have to either project enough authority so they do not dare attack you or you have to have a zero-tolerance policy and be willing to leave when your boss turns out to be one of these unrefined individuals. Ultimately, that hurts them more than it does you.
Ask them for (Score:2)
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This!
If someone interviewing you has Ayn Rand books on their bookshelf at work, run away.
They emphasize "respect" (Score:2)
Swingline stapler (Score:2)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
You can't but... (Score:4, Informative)
You can prepare yourself and know the signs
I suggest reading
* Working with Monsters - John Clarke
* Snakes in Suits - Robert D. Hare
Almost all bullies have some sort of Cluster B personality disorder (Narcissism, Borderline, Antisocial, Histrionic) and the quicker you spot them the better. Odds are you won't see the mask slip until you've been in the job a few months.
Once you have realised you have a bully boss you should
1. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING - Keep a diary and follow up any verbal conversation with an email of "per our convo "
2. Make an escape plan - Most bully bosses are a sign of deeper issues at the company, if they have been allowed to stay and cause issues, it means management either doesn't know or doesn't care about all the staff issues / high turn over that a bully with cause.
3. Pull the pin - Having escaped to a better job, send all your documentation to the Company HR and your bosses senior management via a safe side channel, alerting them to what's happening. At best though, the bully will be sacked and end up somewhere else, at worst they (management) won't care. If you're lucky they might try and get you to come back for helping them, but usually not.
Bullies are on a spectrum (Score:3)
In today's workplace flooded with Millennials that may or may not show up to work on time. And, when they do show up they feel they are entitled to play with their phone and eat breakfast instead of getting to work, Sometimes a boss has to be a little bit of a bully to maintain order and work standards. This is one end of the bully spectrum which I call, "The Perceived Bully" which is just actually a functional adult trying to run a business. He/She usually works to coach, diagnose, and train workers to get better.
On the other end of the bully spectrum lives the thin skinned psychopath who wants to ruin careers, fire people, and get everyone to admit that he/she is awesome. This is the bully that protects his/her ego at all costs and will not be questioned.
The way to draw out the psycho-path bully is as follows:
1. When they make an absolute statement, don't attack them but explain someone had a wondering why the statement they just uttered makes any sense. You will see them quickly shift demeanor. They will want to know who wondered it and immediately start defending their position. This is a fun game to play (sometimes).
2. If the bully makes a demand that is crazy, say, "That doesn't work for me." A normal person would reason with you. A bully doesn't care and is going to come after you for challenging their authority.
There are quite a few people who confuse leadership and bullying. Don't work for a bully, there are too many great organizations and options available.
Or, if you want to stay and test your metal. Iron sharpens iron, just like one man sharpens another. With time, patience, half-truths, and careful alliances, you can take down a bully Most normal people like to "live in the land of nice" at work, but if you form alliances, undermine, and create enough drama the bully will either self-destruct and/or get fired. Actually, this is bad, don't do it. My Russian side is posting on Slashdot again, please be a decent human being.
Re:Bullies are on a spectrum (Score:4, Interesting)
I don't want to let the stereotyping stand. I've managed huge teams of all ages, and millenials are quite hard working if you know how to motivate them. They're not impressed by "do what I say because I pay you", so using that as your leverage doesn't work, as they'll go work for someone else who knows how to manage them. But if you get them to buy into your vision - engage them in interesting challenges, or solving meaningful problems, making a difference in people's lives, etc. - they are not only hard working, but quite creative in figuring out how to achieve the goals. There's a lot of coaching, mentoring, diagnosing, training, etc., in that, but it shouldn't come across as being a bully. You don't need to be their best friend, of course, but they do need to respect you and care about what you're trying to achieve together.
Puff the magic dragon. (Score:2)
Look at Both Sides (Score:5, Interesting)
As a 6' 3" former Marine, what is this bully thing of which you speak?
Backstabbing, conniving, two-faced and several other PHB archetypes I've met in various combinations. But so far, nobody has tried to bully me. Though, about 19 years ago a manager from another line burst into our office and actually started yelling "who's desk do I have to jump on to get some..." I just started laughing at him--a sincere WTH laugh, which worked wonders.
On the other hand, I've also had folks under me with varying degrees of snowflake complex. IT usually meets their fellow line employees at the high stress problem stage. Anyone with a thin skin and low threshold for pressure should probably seek another career path.
Professional tip: the proper response never includes the phrase "...record all future meetings...". A more diplomatic approach (if any) is to apologize for your conduct and ask the individual to make what was just told you clear in an email to ensure you do not deviate from the desired path. Then begin the job search.
To address your original question, ask the folks interviewing you some of exact questions they have asked you, but in the context of the current team. The egomaniacs will fill the interview time responding to your question(s), which is an indicator, but not proof of any bullying propensity.
Re: (Score:3)
I am a 6' 4" active Special Forces guy. Boy is HE going to be surprised when I start bullying him!
push back in the interview (Score:3, Interesting)
I'd say ask questions. You're interviewing them too, as is implicit in your question. Bullies are invariably emotionally sensitive... if they ask you a question as if you are supposed to answer, and you ask for clarification, they feel they are being questioned themselves. That bothers them. You'll see if they can't handle it. And people that like collaboration love that you ask for clarification.
And if you piss someone off this way, well, you avoided a bully and possibly not-so-bright person. Of course... over time you'll some times even want a job that features such a person (you might not even work with the interviewer)... so it's still complicated :)
But a little backflow on the questions (clarifications) will tell you what you want to know.
Good answer. Have a conversation, not an exam (Score:2)
I like your answer. More generally, for several reasons, an interview should be a conversation, a two-way conversation. That way you get to know them, and you likely stand out from other candidates.
If you come in to an interview without preparing to initiate a conversation*, and the person interviewing you isn't really good at it, the interview can easily turn into an exam.
* Sure, the interviewer SHOULD be well prepared to have a good conversation, but often they aren't.
how they talk about others (Score:2)
If the boss talks demeaningly of other people - maybe of the previous employee whose spot you are going to fill - that's a strike against.
I wish I knew how to spot the psychos (Score:2)
After several bullies (Score:2)
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"Rather than be honest and admit they are haggling."
I think admitting that your haggling would weaken your position in a haggling situation.
What's the strategy there? Announce that you have more money to offer them and then hope they don't ask for it?
Re: After several bullies (Score:2)
Honeymoon phase (Score:2)
My suggestion would be to watch the underlings of the person, and look for body language. And be wary of braggarts.
What type of bully? (Score:2)
There are different archetypes of bullies.
You have overt and covert bullies, some days they behave like like tanks and some days like snipers. The question is *why* are they bullies and are they on some spectrum of personality disorder or are they having a bad day?
The problem is this, people with co-dependent behavior are drawn to them so they will have some sort of enabler around them who supports their bad behavior. Uncovering a bully is difficult in a interview situation as it is a very short peri
Compassion (Score:2)
Perhaps you are the bait to catch them? (Score:2)
Bullies (psychopaths or sociopaths) home in on those who they think they can victimise.
The collective wisdom on bullies is they don't like people who stand up to them.
If you've been hired by two bullies there is a good chance that there is something about you that makes them think they will get away with bullying you.
It is probably worth reviewing, and becoming more self aware, of how you are putting yourself across in an interview.
I'm not talking just words and answers but you tone of voice, self confidenc
I only had one, in 25 years (Score:5, Interesting)
In a 25 year career, from 1985 to 2010, I had (about) 6 jobs and (about) 15 bosses.
As one would expect, a few bosses were very good, most were good, and none were poor (you don't get to be a boss in a high tech company without being good at your stuff).
For the first 20 years of my career I'd heard of "bullying" and was dismissive of it. I thought that those alleging it was either imagining things, or not dealing with it professionally.
EXCEPT
I started a new job as a contractor with the DoD here (Australia), ie a private contractor in a government department. Within one week the supervisor had upset me with needless criticism and micro-management. I dealt with it "professionally", ie. keep my cool and address the substance of his complaints, not the manner. Within another week it was repeated - more complaints, more micro-management. I stayed "professional". Within another week he was contradicting his previous complaints. He had repeatedly told me to he wanted me to be more "communicative" with him, so I was I went to seek his guidance in a situation where it wasn't strictly necessary. Rather than answer my question he took the opportunity to tell me he expects contractors to be able to work these things out for themselves, and walked off with a snarl. I then realised I was dealing with a "bully". By the end of the first month work was a misery and I thought about him day and night. I quit after three months. This was the first and only time in my career I left a job just to get out of a place rather than to move on to something better.
I learned from other workers at the office that a previous contractor had also quit and the man's colleagues in the DoD couldn't work with him either. (How he stayed in a senior job is a mystery, but I think he was very good at sucking up to his own bosses, presumably blaming his subordinates).
So, I learned that bullies are rare, but when you get one you are in an impossible situation.
When I look back to the interview there wasn't much that gave him away, but there was a very "superior" attitude where he seemed to be putting me in my place, and apart from asserting himself he wasn't very interested in me.
Some time after this I saw him at a gym. I noticed him strutting around with his nose in the air, looking like he was full of himself. He was tall and muscular. He didn't see me. I don't think he saw anyone.
Re:Been there ... (Score:4, Insightful)
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That's being completely douchy and ethically wrong to deal with the situation you were put in. I'm glad I don't have you as a fucking sysadmin.
The boy read too much BOFH, instead of beating off to National Geographic like a normal kid of his generation.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Been there ... (Score:5, Funny)
blah blah blah
That's how I handle bullies.
With your imagination?
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
So, your advice is to become a passive-aggressive one yourself.
Re: Been there ... (Score:5, Insightful)
If you actually did any of the crap you said then you're actually a bigger bully than the person you accused of bullying. Congratulations!
Not the way (Score:2)
Gaze not long into the abyss.
Success is the best form of revenge. Succeed and let them fade into utter irrelevance.